Birthday's would it be rude to ask for cash?

[batgirl_cdn]

For my son's 3rd birthday we asked for a donation to charity instead of giving toys, because my son has enough toys already. We also gave the option of books for those who really wanted to bring a gift, because one can't have too many books Everyone ended up bringing a gift, one person gave a nice book and told us which charity they donated to, the majority gave nice books, and a few brought toys.

None of our friends told us they didn't like our request or were offended. Perhaps if we just said no gifts at all, only charity donation they might have been offended, as it seems most preferred bringing a gift.

We will likely only throw a large birthday party every few years and celebrate the rest of the birthdays in a fun way with just our family.

[batgirl_cdn]

Well, I don't have a problem with helping others gift in a way that doesn't waste their money. Most of the time I ask the parents of the birthday child what the child likes or needs so that I don't waste my money buying something that the child won't enjoy.

I never stipulate that x amount of money must be contributed/spent on gifts, store vouchers, or charity - that would be crossing the line.

Is it also rude of families to ask mourners to donate to a specific charity in lieu of flowers after someone dies?

[BigSis]

It is never permissible to ask for cash or to stipulate what sort of gift is expected. In fact, it is not permissible to assume a gift will be given at all.

surely it is then not permissible to assume you'll be invited again if you don't give a gift!

[sundaymorningstaple]

Don't pay any attention to jayarr as he's just an Indian Spammer and has been deleted.

[movingtospore]

No gift birthday parties are very much the thing in Canada, at least. I'm actually a bit appalled by the excessive birthdays I've seen in Singapore but that's another story. What we would do at home is having something called a twoonie party (canadian slang for a two dollar coin, bear with me). The idea is everyone brings a card and two dollars to the party. The birthday boy or girl then keeps half and donates half to charity. We then went to the store and she picked out a toy she could afford with the money she had left from the party.

The thing is, if you're having a larger party they really won't appreciate the gifts they get anyways. And in my view it's not teaching kids anything about the value of money, or appreciation for what they've got. You may offend some, but I think as long as you communicate in the invite that you don't want anyone to bring gifts, but should people care to send a couple of dollars in place of gift, your intention is...
I say good on you for breaking the trend of overdone kids parties here!

[BigSis]

Perhaps keeping the presents but not inviting tons of kids is the answer - just a few close friends and going out somewhere nice for lunch or to the zoo or something instead.

Inviting lots of kids but asking for no presents is a bit like a glorified playdate. Do those who follow this trend also not give out a prize for any games played?

[missis]

Is it also rude of families to ask mourners to donate to a specific charity in lieu of flowers after someone dies?

No, but that's completely different.