Birthday kid received hardly any gifts

[missis]

Bit off topic but a PP brought it up. Re goodie bags - the whole concept infuriates me. What happened to handing out a piece of birthday cake? Instead when we go to parties we get bags of (usually with few exceptions) rubbish. Expecting presents when you're a guest at a birthday party, when someone's already forked out to have the bash, who thought that up? Goes along with the parents who ask if their child's siblings can attend too(to a venue which charges by each child - obviously not so much a problem at a home party).
Of course I did small bags at my son's parties but they were simple and had stuff that I wouldn't have minded my son receiving - as opposed to the plastic junk often received.

[QRM]

[quote="missis" as opposed to the plastic junk often received.[/quote]

Its true this goodie bag lark I have only seen it here. Maybe its a devious way of making sure everyone stays till the end.

Funny its the plastic junk and wrappings that our kid loves.

[durain]

the party bag thing is not as common in singapore compare with UK.

yeah, kids love the party bag even if they are junk!

[missis]

[quote="missis" as opposed to the plastic junk often received.

Its true this goodie bag lark I have only seen it here. Maybe its a devious way of making sure everyone stays till the end.

Funny its the plastic junk and wrappings that our kid loves.[/quote]

Isn't that true (about the junk) Re seeing it around, it was the norm in Tokyo too - though one rich family handed out remote control cars and gameboys at one of their parties

[QRM]

Though one rich family handed out remote control cars and gameboys at one of their parties

Cool I will be fighting to get in the Q for his next party invites! ha ha maybe that how it works.

Didnt the Sultan of Brunei give out keys to a brand new Mercs in his goodies bag?

Bit sad these day people have to buy your friendship. I suppose we come full circle and can argue then its OK not to bring pressies to parties as you refuse to be sold to the whole commercial aspect of parties and true friendship cannot be bought? Though a 4 year whose party it is will probably have a different take on that argument.

[carteki]

I was recently told of a child that had a birthday party and more than half of the kids turned up with No gift or No Card. Despite the childs brave face, there was some hurt feelings there.

IS this a common thing here ? Do people stop giving birthday cards and gifts when they attend parties ? I know its not compulsory to offer one - but not even a card ??? Bad manners ??

Any views ??

Very odd - especially when you consider that if you receive an invite to a wedding you're meant to give a gift even if you're not going! (Which makes sending out invites very tricky - you've got to work out if they're coming before sending the invite!)

[x9200]

I think people are gradually becoming rude, in general?

I know that I will always bring a bottle of wine/dessert whenever I go to someone's place for dinner. Nowadays, nobody seems to do that anymore. Or is it the group that I hang out with, have weak manners?

Custom still alive in our social circle so I guess you indeed hang out with some weird group.

[BigSis]

The party bag thing seems to have appeared in the UK over the past few decades. I remember as a child occasionally getting a decorated bag with the piece of cake in to take home and then gradually it grew from there with the addition of a balloon and then an annoying blower thing and so on.....

But back to the original question - no, I've never known someone come to a party and not bring the birthday child a present. It seems like a really rude thing to do and I don't think we would have invited them again if that had ever happened to our kids (they're too old for the traditional birthday parties now but I'll be watching out for this if I ever become a grandparent )

As for the bottle of wine/chocs/flowers at a dinner party - I always take something, usually wine. I think it's rude not to - even if you're not a drinker you could take something for the hosts, it doesn't have to be alcohol.

[batgirl_cdn]

I think it is very weird, because it is common knowledge that you bring a gift to a birthday party. Your story is coming as second hand information though. Perhaps it is true that the kid was disappointed about receiving few gifts, but it could have been that the parents said "No gifts" on the invitation.

[aargon]

we had a recent birthday party for our son who turned 3. About 10 kids, mixed between locals and expats. Everyone brought a present and we also prepared a party bag.

a fun time was had by all.

was also invited to a few other birthday parties, and everyone brought presents, so i can think its fair to say that showing up without a present is not a common affair.... especially if its a childrens birthday party.

[vivienshoshanna]

poor kids.. but yeah, that story is true, well for some.

[Thaiclan]

Daughter turned 8 this year which means we have been through 2 prior birthdays of receiving 15 or so presents at each party. Problem is she either already has the stuff (she gets an allowance and buys her own toys) or she ends up receiving two or three of the same toy.
This year we had 18 guests and she had seen a pair of wooden stilts at the Better Toy Store which cost $179. So instead of requesting gifts I asked the parents if they were okay with putting in $10 each and getting her a collective present.
Most parents were relieved to have a get-out of finding yet another toy and wrapping it up. Plus it was cheaper for them. For my daughter she got an awesome expensive present that she will remember as being part of her 8th birthday as opposed to 18 random toys.
On the note of party bags, I think they are great. Filled with crappy cheap toot that kids LOVE and adults just can't get their heads around - perfect!