Singapore Expats

So ARE there any Full Time Working Moms out there?

Juggling family and work is never easy. Discuss about it here.
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tb
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Post by tb » Tue, 02 Nov 2010 11:06 pm

Hi Kster78,

I went back to work in Singapore after my 2nd child was 7 months and my Filipino maid took really good care of her at home whilst I was at work. There are always other kids in the condos for them to get some socialisation during the day so don't stress too much. We did have to encourage our maid to get the kids outside more; until she made friends with the other maids and was then happy to hang out at the playground with the kids in the afternoons. I think she was a little afraid of the maid mafia to begin with.

My daughter went to preschool for 3 mornings a week when she was 18mths (as soon as we could get her into her brothers school) and she loved the interaction. She even loved going on the school bus. (helped that she was following her big brother). Then my maid only needed to meet the bus rather than collect her from school. (don't worry the bus aunty looks after them on the bus and helps them buckle up if you set that expectation upfront)

I can highly recommend Eton House preschool at 764 Mountbatten Road in the east where my kids spent the past 4 years, as it is such a nice cosy environment with lovely caring teachers. I checked their website and it looks like 18 months is the minimum age. My kids missed this school terribly when they moved up to the Broadrick campus.

I hope this has reassured you somewhat ....that we managed to make it work and our daughter is a developing really well.

tb
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Post by tb » Tue, 02 Nov 2010 11:31 pm

To casamac,

There are plenty of opportunity to make friends if you live in a condo. Especially if you have a helper which gives you the luxury of spending quality time to play with the kids when you get home rather than having to put a meal on the table! We meet lots of other families at the pool and playgrounds in our condo. And meeting other expats "in the same boat" does open up more opportunity for friendships than we would likely find in our home country routines. But I personally find it difficult to devote time to friendships now that I have 2 kids and work full time, because our weekends are so busy with family time! We do try to have other families over on the weekends occasionally but I miss our family days. I only get 2 a week and don't want to give them up so easily!

Singapore with kids is awesome. You won't look back.

Working hours and flexibility will depend on your company culture. We don't have any mums working from home in my company. Local contracts only give 3 months mat leave and then most locals come back to work leaving the kids to be cared for by the grandparents. Obviously we don't have that luxury with the grandies on tap!

presena
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Post by presena » Tue, 23 Nov 2010 1:04 pm

Hi All,

I am new to this thread...and enjoy reading the posts, posted by all the mommies. I'm a FTWM with 2 kids....I live in the nothern part of Singapore, Woodlands...any mummies living around here....

Thanks

anitha
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Post by anitha » Wed, 01 Dec 2010 5:22 pm

Hi all

I'm a FTWM too, have a 20 month old son and newly pregnant with number 2. I have a full time nanny who doesn't live with us, she comes in every morning and stays till I get home - usually about 7pm. She's really good, has childcare experience and has really bonded well with my son. I have the usual working mum syndrome (i.e. guilt, guilt and more guilt). Love to connect with others in similar situations!

VCPM
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Post by VCPM » Sat, 11 Dec 2010 9:26 am

Hi all,

We're looking to move to Singapore in January and I would like to go back to work full time once we're settled. I'm very fortunate here, as I have a flexibility at work and also a school that supports FTWMs. I'm looking at EtonHouse Broadrick as a potential school for my 6 year old. They don't have any spots for my 3 year old but offered up the new campus (718 Mountbatten). Is it difficult having them in 2 campuses while working full time? Also, does EtonHouse support FTWMs?

Relocator
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Post by Relocator » Fri, 17 Dec 2010 6:33 pm

Hi everyone,

This is my first post, and it is great to see FTWM posting here. I am relocating to Singapore in January (from the UK) with my family (husband and 5 year old son) and both husband and I work full time. Have been told by numerous people it is unusual for expat mums to work in Singapore, so I am delighted to see others in the same boat. All feels very exciting but daunting at the moment!

We are looking to live in the East coast, our son will be going to the australian school.

Would be great to hear other peoples stories of being a FTWM - how do you get on, how did you choose the right helper/nanny......

Thanks.

noodlemama
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Post by noodlemama » Wed, 22 Dec 2010 10:17 am

We were sans kids when we moved here 20 years ago. Since then I have worked FT, PT, project work and now back to full time five years ago. When baby #1 came along, I looked for alternative child care but couldn’t find anything – glad to hear that there are more options now.

We were lucky with our live-in help – she stayed for 15 years. Finding a good and helpful live-in is always a crap shoot – best to find one that is recommended by someone you know.

All schools have their group of working moms, but the problem is meeting them as most of us don’t have the time to volunteer (for those of you with younger kids). Maybe just ask your kid’s teachers if there are any other FT working moms in your kid’s class. Another option - You usually can find them at birthday parties.

That said, my oldest is off to college next year and is a happy, well-adjusted (at least for a TCK) and so we must have done something right even thought I continued to work.

As for finding like-minded women – I suggest joining PrimeTime. A social networking group for working expat women. They even have a mothers sub-group. I was on the first board and was very active in the beginning and met some wonderful friends there. Yes, it was so unusual back then for an expat wife to actually WANT to work. PrimeTime started out with only 12 women and within three years had grown to over 300.

I really encourage all working moms to check it out. www.primetime.org.sg.

tpchappers
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Post by tpchappers » Tue, 28 Dec 2010 8:51 pm

I was really pleased to see this thread and interested to hear different peoples experiences. I am a full time working Mum who has been in Singapore for 3 months with her 'at home dad' husband and two children aged 2 and 3. Firstly, there are few opportunities to meet other couples with kids where the mum has the same demands when you are busy day to day with balancing work and family. Whilst with the luxury of being able to go out more often than at home in the UK, we are often frazzled from the strains of family life and usually end up having a quiet beer and an early night - needless to say this makes Singapore feel somewhat lonely at times! Secondly, my lovely husband and super dad finds it hard to integrate - at home he went to many playgroups and other places with our network of other friends who had kids - here all the mummies stick together somewhat!
That said - Singapore is great for kids and I can see in a couple of years we'll really see the benefit!
Would be happy to hear from anyone in a similar situation interested in meeting up!!

[email protected]

:-) Happy New Year

workingmommy
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Full time moms

Post by workingmommy » Mon, 03 Jan 2011 12:23 pm

Hey.. Singapore is probably the best place for FTWMs to bring up kids. First of firsts is to arm yourself with a great domestic helper, so that it leaves both of you with more quality time to spend with each other and your kids. 'At home Dads" are getting more popular now although you are right when you say that playgroup and parent forums are largely made up of stay at home Moms. Having said that, there are a lot of things that Dads can do with kids when Mommy is away at work.. biking at the East Coast Park, Zoo and bird park trips, Feed fish at Botanical gardens,play at Polliwog/Fidgets and other play gyms etc.
My husband works in another country and I am a FTWM, but I have a splendid helper. My daughter is 3 and goes to school for half the day. The mornings are spent with the helper and that is cool.
Hope your kids go to a playschool of some sort, cos that helps to expend some of that super energy in 3 year olds. Happy to meet and chat whenever !

tb
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Post by tb » Wed, 05 Jan 2011 1:59 pm

Hi tpchappers, isn't there a Secret Men's Business (SMB) club here for the stay at home dads? I can ask friends of ours for the contact if you can't find it. When they were in Singapore he had a great life off golfing, motorbike trips etc with SMB club whilst the maid looked after the kids. (some of the time ;-))

Hi Noodlemama, thanks for the tip on Primetime, I will have to look into their website.

After a quick look, Primetime has a networking event on 13 Jan. Perhaps we should all go along and wear something the same so we recognise other girls from this forum! Suggestions? Red shirts or dresses? or is that too common? At least we will stand out amongst the LBD's (little black dresses) and business suits (if anyone actually wears suits in Singapore!)

TB

Bigcitymom
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Post by Bigcitymom » Wed, 05 Jan 2011 11:17 pm

Hi,

I just became a FTWM in December. With two-years old twins, I fully agree that a good helper is key to reduce stress; however, it does not help reduce guilt. But I guess I knew that going in. The only thing I can do is to make the best of situation and spend as much time as possible with the kids on the weekend.

When I first arrived at Singapore six months ago, I was a SAHM, but being a career mom before, it was hard to bound with other long time SAHMs. Then I joined PrimeTime. It definitely opened up a door for me. Well, I don't have "friends" just yet since I've only been to a couple of events but I enjoyed every event I attended. So I strongly encourage other FTWMs to join.

I'm going to the Second Thursday event on the 13th. Steffani Aranas, who is also a FTWM, is going to be there helping with registration. Maybe we can ask her to be our connecting point.

Cheers,

Sherry

pj796
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Post by pj796 » Mon, 10 Jan 2011 1:22 pm

It's great to hear from other working moms here. I have a four month old baby and both my husband and I work. I enjoy working, but I am definitely wracked with guilt about leaving my baby at home! The most challenging for me has been finding good child care. I have a Filipino maid who I trust (so important) but unfortunately isn't that experienced in child care and isn't that fluent in English. So I thought to hire a live out nanny as well who can do more for my baby in terms of stimulation... However I had a very hard time finding a suitable nanny- as someone else mentioned in a previous post, the nannies I met were relatively uneducated (and definitely no child care education) and with very poor english. I'm still hoping that I can find a great nanny, but in the meantime my baby is at home with the maid. What are the other moms doing in terms of child care, and to stimulate the baby? I've thought about sending my baby to play gyms or music classes (like Julia Gabriel or Kindermusik) with the maid during the week, but I'm not sure if it's worth it and also don't feel that comfortable with putting him in a cab everyday with the maid. Would love to hear your thoughts!

stephaniematchett
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Post by stephaniematchett » Sun, 16 Jan 2011 10:35 pm

Hi everyone,
I have been in Singapore for 4 months now. I have a 21 months old son, Leo. When I arrived in Singapore, I had to find a nanny since I had to look for a house etc. . I found a JEWEL, by the name of KANINI. She is an ex-nurse, fantastic English, and great great with kids. She can cook for them, she does different activities with them, and above else she simply loves kids! She charges $15.00/hr, which you may find expensive??? But I can assure you that your guilt will literally dissipate in the air. She is worth the money!

Now, I have a Philipino helper who is also great with him. They really enjoy each other. I spent 3 days overseas, and he did great. He goes to pre-school too from 9.30 till 3.30pm.

As far as social life goes, I find that Singapore is great. To have a helper (obviously finding one good is the key :), just gives you this extra time, that I did not have in Sydney. Matter of fact, I can at last go to the movies, enjoy a cafe from time to time, and meet up with people in the evening, because I have someone in the house, minding the baby...and that is such a luxury! Oh, and I forgot to mention, that I am able to be back to yoga classes in the evening :).

fentonge
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Babysitter Kanini

Post by fentonge » Fri, 21 Jan 2011 10:58 pm

Hi Stephanie
I am a full time working mum with 2 young extremely active boys aged 4 and 6 yo. Its fortunate that I own my business and have flexi hours but .... May I have the number for your babysitter please ... does she do days too? Both my helpers went awol :mad: on me and I'm freaking out :shock: :shock: trying to find replacement helpers, work and manage the household! Not to mention that my car broke down the other day on top of it all!
Thanks

stephaniematchett
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Post by stephaniematchett » Sat, 22 Jan 2011 8:19 am

The name of the nanny is Kanini and her phone is: 9452 4110.
Hopefully she is free...She is in high demand. But yes she works during the day. She was helping me out during the day for a couple of months. You will not be disappointed. Did I mention she used to be nurse? Good luck. Let me know if you had any chance :)

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