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Water or Wine? That is the question.

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sundaymorningstaple
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Water or Wine? That is the question.

Postby sundaymorningstaple » Fri, 15 Jan 2010 10:28 am

Subject: Wine/Water - That is the question?


To paraphrase W.C. Fields,

I don't drink water, because fish sh*t in it!





To my friends who enjoy a glass of wine... and those who don't.

As Ben Franklin said:
In wine there is wisdom,
in beer there is freedom,
in water there is bacteria.

In a number of carefully controlled trials, scientists have demonstrated that if we drink 1 liter of water each day, at the end of the year we would have absorbed more than 1 kilo of Escherichia coli, (E. coli) - bacteria found in feces. In other words, we are consuming 1 kilo of poop..

However, we do NOT run that risk when drinking wine & beer
(or tequila, rum, whiskey or other liquor) because alcohol has to go through a purification process of boiling, filtering and/or fermenting.


Remember:
Water = Poop,
Wine = Health.

Therefore, it's better to drink wine and talk stupid, than to drink water and be full of sh*t!.


There is no need to thank me for this valuable information:
I'm doing it as a public service!
:mrgreen:

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sundaymorningstaple
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Postby sundaymorningstaple » Fri, 15 Jan 2010 10:34 am

Defense Attorney:
Will you please state your age?

Little Old Lady:
I am 94 years old.

Defense Attorney:
Will you tell us, in your own words, what happened the night of April 1st?

Little Old Lady:

There I was, sitting there in my swing on my front porch on a warm spring evening, when a young man comes creeping up on the porch and sat down beside me.

Defense Attorney:

Did you know him?

Little Old Lady:
No, but he sure was friendly.

Defense Attorney:

What happened after he sat down?

Little Old Lady:
He started to rub my thigh.

Defense Attorney:
Did you stop him?

Little Old Lady:
No, I didn't stop him.

Defense Attorney:
Why not?

Little Old Lady:
It felt good. Nobody had done that since my Albert died some 30 years ago.

Defense Attorney:

What happened next?

Little Old Lady:

He began to rub my breasts.

Defense Attorney:
Did you stop him then?

Little Old Lady:
No, I did not stop him.

Defense Attorney:

Why not?

Little Old Lady:
His rubbing made me feel all alive and excited. I haven't felt that good in years!

Defense Attorney:

What happened next?

Little Old Lady:
Well, by then, I was feeling so 'spicy' that I just laid down and told him
'Take me, young man. Take me now!'

Defense Attorney:

Did he take you?

Little Old Lady:

Hell, no! He just yelled, ' April Fool!' And that's when I shot him, the little bastard


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