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Dating a Muslim girlfriend

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berkshire_yorkie
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Postby berkshire_yorkie » Fri, 07 May 2010 9:57 pm

nakatago wrote:Well, I don't know about you guys and I'm no theologian but I think these prohibitions on animals in the holy books because these were the best they could do with hygiene, given their scientific knowledge more than two thousand years ago. "


My gf has always told me that pork is forbidden due to hygiene. I have the same expereince as several other posters in that I know Singapore bumi who smoke, drink, eat during Ramadan, wear mini skirts etc etc but the one thing that they all, absolutely without exception, won't do is eat pork.

Regarding Khalwat ("close priximity"), pick up a newspaper in Malaysia virtually every day you will see cases. However these involve Malaysian bumi's. Not sure what they would do if the bumi was Singaporean instead; personally we've never had a problem and that includes the occasion when I got stopped by traffic cops in Johor backwater and my gf spent 10 minutes negotiating the bribe in Bhasa.
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Postby JR8 » Fri, 07 May 2010 10:38 pm

Yeah and they don't eat pork in Israel either. Just they call it zebra, and then eat it. ~Yes, honestly.

Yeah with Kalwat, I realise it goes on is the NE states. When it gets as close as Tioman... that is a little too close for comfort.... tho as said we are doc-clean...

I'm reminded of a kalwat case from the early 90's. A then well known Malaysian singer (lady) had worked as a cocktail singer for over a decade in Las Vegas. Her decade+ partner was a singer from the eponymous band The Commodores. They went on holiday to Malaysia and both got raided and locked up for kalwat!

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Postby durain » Fri, 07 May 2010 10:41 pm

yeah, eating pork and not converting is such a haram stuff. but shagging outside marriage, drink samsu, smoking pot, wearing sexy clothes, gambling, bribery, etc are all OK.

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Postby JR8 » Fri, 07 May 2010 10:56 pm

Yeeeeep.... , oh yeah, I hear what you say.


But honestly, it's probably better I don't even go there (it will only get SMS all worked up anyway :-D)

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Postby Vaucluse » Sat, 08 May 2010 2:06 pm

JR8 wrote:Yeah with Kalwat, I realise it goes on is the NE states. When it gets as close as Tioman... that is a little too close for comfort.... tho as said we are doc-clean...



Not just the NE states . . . and have a look at what transpired just a very short while ago:

Image

http://edition.cnn.com/2010/WORLD/asiap ... index.html

Malaysia Boleh! Ah, what a joy it is to live here among enlightened people . . .


JR8 wrote:That's the thing. If even before your wedding day you are presented with a zero-discussion ultimatum, convert or else it's not happening, what kind of precedent does it set for the future? It's even beyond that, it is not the individual's request/'fault', it is just what HAS to be done.

No, no id on my wife identifies her religion, neither does her name. Good job as I understand the police were making arrests for 'close proximity' (kalwat?) on Tioman just last year!


And that makes it even more frustrating, this complete acceptance that conversion must be done. Must. Anything else seems to cloud their eyes over with a form of disbelief that anything else could even be in the picture.

Lucky with the id . . . they're really clamping down here in Boleh-Land, much to the chagrin of the federal pollies who want to try to sell Malaysia s a moderate country, not a second Saudi
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'nuff said Image

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Postby k1w1 » Sun, 09 May 2010 2:25 pm

Vaucluse wrote:
JR8 wrote:And that makes it even more frustrating, this complete acceptance that conversion must be done. Must. Anything else seems to cloud their eyes over with a form of disbelief that anything else could even be in the picture.


During a conversation like this, I once said that my family would probably be upset if I converted to Islam. This was met with absolute shock - why would there be an issue with that? What's wrong with your family? Are they prejudiced or what? I tried to point out how hypocritical that was, but there was no point. Apparently no one else has a culture, or families, or a religion that forbids converting...

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Postby Professor_Balthazar » Sun, 09 May 2010 6:46 pm

Mad Scientist wrote:I find this post very interesting and would like to share what I found out and correct the misconception. Go and google and you can find all this infos...



Thank you Mad Scientist for the correction. You've said "Incorrect on the Quran not having verse for alcohol", where did I say there is no verse for alcohol or gambling? :)

As I said, those are my ideas which can be wrong. I think there are too much to discuss about the story of prohibition of alcohol at that time. Also, there are too much to discuss about the word "Haram" (which has been used for pig) and "Ethm" and "Rejs" (which have been used to describe alcohol), what do they mean now and what did they mean 1400 yrs ago in arabic culture. Also, how they can be interpreted from that time/arabic culture to present/non-arabic cultures?

Same as you I'm not interested in debate or argument on these issues. But if you want to google infos on "Do"s and "Do Not"s in islam, you should google also arabian culture and their understandings on some keywords (both that time and now).

I'm not telling alcohol and gambling is OK in islam, since I think everybody knows their disadvantages (both muslims and non-muslims.) But what will happen if you do a "Haram", "Ethm" or be polluted by"Rejs"? That's the question.

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Postby Vaucluse » Mon, 10 May 2010 10:33 am

k1w1 wrote:
Vaucluse wrote:
JR8 wrote:And that makes it even more frustrating, this complete acceptance that conversion must be done. Must. Anything else seems to cloud their eyes over with a form of disbelief that anything else could even be in the picture.


During a conversation like this, I once said that my family would probably be upset if I converted to Islam. This was met with absolute shock - why would there be an issue with that? What's wrong with your family? Are they prejudiced or what? I tried to point out how hypocritical that was, but there was no point. Apparently no one else has a culture, or families, or a religion that forbids converting...


I think the point about this is that conversion can be discussed, irrespective of the outcome . . . whereas with Muslims it's not even conceivable as a discussion.
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'nuff said Image

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Postby februus » Mon, 10 May 2010 11:46 am

moloch71 wrote:
Professor_Balthazar wrote:in Quran it has clearly stated "you're not allowed to eat pork"


'pork' and not 'pig' ?

woohoo, bacon and ham are back in ! :twisted:


Sorry for this......It's just an interest of mine......

Same thing!!
Pork = Medieval French for pig (entered the language with the Normans)
Pig = Anglo Saxon (for pig obviously)

I find it amusing that the refined word for these animals when they are cooked (and therefore refined) comes from the French (pork, beef, mutton etc), whereas the actual name for the animal writhing about in the dirt is Saxon in origin (Pig, Cow, Sheep atc).....

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Postby Vaucluse » Mon, 10 May 2010 1:36 pm

februus wrote:Same thing!!
Pork = Medieval French for pig (entered the language with the Normans)
Pig = Anglo Saxon (for pig obviously)

I find it amusing that the refined word for these animals when they are cooked (and therefore refined) comes from the French (pork, beef, mutton etc), whereas the actual name for the animal writhing about in the dirt is Saxon in origin (Pig, Cow, Sheep atc).....


Why would that be odd? Rather applicable . . . Image
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'nuff said Image

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Postby JR8 » Thu, 13 May 2010 12:14 am

As I tried to describe, and Vaucluse and others have followed on from.

Face the 'wall' of marrying a muslim bride, and prepare for a shock unless you are very very, VERY lucky, you WILL have to go through the mill, or walk away).

There is no conception of YOU having any options. Maybe because you have none.

'Do you love me or not, well? Can we marry or not?'

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Postby februus » Thu, 13 May 2010 7:26 am

nakatago wrote:"don't get drunk lest you do something you'll end up regretting once you sober up."


I need to convert and start following this advice

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Postby leona123 » Thu, 14 Oct 2010 8:28 am

k1w1 wrote:During a conversation like this, I once said that my family would probably be upset if I converted to Islam. This was met with absolute shock - why would there be an issue with that? What's wrong with your family? Are they prejudiced or what? I tried to point out how hypocritical that was, but there was no point. Apparently no one else has a culture, or families, or a religion that forbids converting...


I'm married to a muslim man. But the hell I went through with his ENTIRE family before I could marry him. He came after me and I told him that in NO CIRCUMSTANCES would I convert. He accepted. But 4 years into our relationship, when he told his parents, all hell broke loose. They simply COULD NOT see that they were being hypocritical when they asked me to convert when they themselves would NEVER be able to convert. They wanted me to change my name and add an Abdullah behind my name. However, they would NEVER be able to accept if his son changed his name or left his religion.

Its not just his parents but his uncles and aunties and even outsider muslims got involved advising my boyfriend(in very STRONG LANGUAGE) to leave me. Only 1 or 2 encouraged him to do what my boyfriend feels is right. In the end, I converted to Islam so that my boyfriend did not have to end up losing his family. But after marriage, I left Islam officially(only my husband knows).

Well, after this incident and after reading the quran, tafsir and ahadith, I've learnt one thing. I've got to learn to be hypocritical too. My child will NEVER EVER marry a muslim unless that muslim leaves his religion.

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Postby therat » Thu, 14 Oct 2010 10:18 am

Just for your Information.

Once you convert to Islam. You can't covert out. You need to go thru' the Muslim court to convert out but the success rate is very low

Even your funeral will be hold in Islam way.

Under Shariah Law, if husband pass away. His wealth will share among parent, uncle, auntie, nephew, niece , his own children, wife ..

son get more than daughter
men get more than female.

Quote from http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Islamic_in ... isprudence

In Islamic Law, the inheritance from the deceased person is defined by Shariah Law. However, a person is entitled to make his own will for 1/3 of his wealth/assets. Hence:

A. Inheritance: 2/3 of wealth/assets are distributed based on Shariah Law. This is called (ميراث)
B. Will: 1/3 of wealth/assets are distributed based on Person’s Will, if he chooses to write his will. This is called “Al-Wasiyyah”

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Postby leona123 » Fri, 15 Oct 2010 8:09 am

therat wrote:Just for your Information.
Once you convert to Islam. You can't covert out. You need to go thru' the Muslim court to convert out but the success rate is very low


Hi Therat,

Are you referring to Singapore? The above is not true for Singapore. Muslim countries maybe, but not Singapore. It's very easy to convert out in Singapore. You swear in front of the commissioner of oath that you have nothing to do with Islam and get a statutory declaration. Then, you go to MUIS and let them know that you have nothing to do with their religion and give them a copy of the statutory declaration. That's exactly what I did. There was nothing they could do to stop me. However, just to be safe, I made a couple of copies of the statutory declaration and the MUIS letter and gave it to a few of my family members.


As for the rest of your information, it is true according to my knowledge. Just to add... for inheritance (Faraid) law:

CPF: If a nomination is made, CPF money will be distributed according to nomination and not by Faraid law.

HDB ownership: Under joint tenantship, the surviving spouse(irregardless of religion) will get the flat. Any will written regarding the distribution of HDB flat is void.

Asset Distribution: Muslims cannot will away their money to non-muslims even if they are married. Any written will is void.

Found out info from the relevant authorities since I would be affected.


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