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Dating a Muslim girlfriend
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Dating a Muslim girlfriend
Hi,
New to the forum so please go easy on me if I've inadvertantly breached protocol etc
Guess the title says it all. Been seeing a "Modern Malay"/Muslim lady (lcoal Singaporean) for nearly 1.5 years and it's starting to get pretty serious. I'm not blind to a lot of the obvious problems; specifically about religion and whether I convert. I have nothing against Islam (or any other religion) - each to their own is my standpoint. Just my personal view is that there is no God and that's why I'm an aetheist. As I say personal view, and not one that I would discuss or attempt to foist, on any-one else.
I suspect Singapore is a lot more tolerant of such relationships than many places - I know we couldn't be together in Malaysia for instance without me converting. As a couple we've not yet experienced any problems, and that includes on our forays into Malaysia. My girlfriend does have one friend who married a Mat Salleh that didn't convert, unfortunately it didn't work out very well (but for other reasons), which hardly helps!.
The obvious option is to go through with a conversion for the sake of outward appearances and do the bare minimum to maintain this position; I've heard that people do it, but whilst pragmatic, it's also being dishonest to one's self.
Any-one got any experience, advice, pointers. Happy to receive a PM if you don't want to disuss in an open forum.
Thanks
New to the forum so please go easy on me if I've inadvertantly breached protocol etc
Guess the title says it all. Been seeing a "Modern Malay"/Muslim lady (lcoal Singaporean) for nearly 1.5 years and it's starting to get pretty serious. I'm not blind to a lot of the obvious problems; specifically about religion and whether I convert. I have nothing against Islam (or any other religion) - each to their own is my standpoint. Just my personal view is that there is no God and that's why I'm an aetheist. As I say personal view, and not one that I would discuss or attempt to foist, on any-one else.
I suspect Singapore is a lot more tolerant of such relationships than many places - I know we couldn't be together in Malaysia for instance without me converting. As a couple we've not yet experienced any problems, and that includes on our forays into Malaysia. My girlfriend does have one friend who married a Mat Salleh that didn't convert, unfortunately it didn't work out very well (but for other reasons), which hardly helps!.
The obvious option is to go through with a conversion for the sake of outward appearances and do the bare minimum to maintain this position; I've heard that people do it, but whilst pragmatic, it's also being dishonest to one's self.
Any-one got any experience, advice, pointers. Happy to receive a PM if you don't want to disuss in an open forum.
Thanks
Never regret anything that made you smile
- sundaymorningstaple
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therat,
Just so you don't keep.......

You might want to consider that if a Muslim girl marries in the US, the husband doesn't have to convert. Or for that matter, most countries. It's only in Muslim countries and places like Singapore that are surrounded by Muslim countries that require it. Sure their mosque may require it, but by civil law they can still get married.
Just so you don't keep.......

You might want to consider that if a Muslim girl marries in the US, the husband doesn't have to convert. Or for that matter, most countries. It's only in Muslim countries and places like Singapore that are surrounded by Muslim countries that require it. Sure their mosque may require it, but by civil law they can still get married.
SOME PEOPLE TRY TO TURN BACK THEIR ODOMETERS. NOT ME. I WANT PEOPLE TO KNOW WHY I LOOK THIS WAY. I'VE TRAVELED A LONG WAY, AND SOME OF THE ROADS WEREN'T PAVED. ~ Will Rogers
- nakatago
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If you're converting just to take the easy way out, don't. On the pragmatic side, you're atheist and you're not willing to give that up. Islam is a strict religion. You wouldn't be able to put up with all the practices in Islam that would allow you to keep up appearances, without going nuts.
On principle, will you be able to live with yourself living a lie?
On the other hand, if you don't convert and your girlfriend stays with you, your girlfriend will be committing a crime. Can you live with that? She could convert out of Islam but will she? However, you could both convert to other religions (Catholicism? Buddhism?).
Just throwing my ideas in there...
On principle, will you be able to live with yourself living a lie?
On the other hand, if you don't convert and your girlfriend stays with you, your girlfriend will be committing a crime. Can you live with that? She could convert out of Islam but will she? However, you could both convert to other religions (Catholicism? Buddhism?).
Just throwing my ideas in there...

"A quokka is what would happen if there was an anime about kangaroos."
no pork for you
next everyday pray 5 times
friday afternoon go mosque
next sometimes go reiligous class .
and ur dick ..have to
ya I believe many of us know .
Islam is strict .
well in fact I have malays collegues do gamble and didn;t fast ..during fasting month
they are puffing ..in fact during fasting month also cannot smoke during the day .
well I believe as long your heart is pure and good.
diet or rules set can be forgive
God still wil be blessing you since you are good.
but if you are evil , but follow all the rules..ect
Do you think the God will bless you ?
next everyday pray 5 times
friday afternoon go mosque
next sometimes go reiligous class .
and ur dick ..have to
ya I believe many of us know .

well in fact I have malays collegues do gamble and didn;t fast ..during fasting month
they are puffing ..in fact during fasting month also cannot smoke during the day .
well I believe as long your heart is pure and good.
diet or rules set can be forgive
God still wil be blessing you since you are good.
but if you are evil , but follow all the rules..ect
Do you think the God will bless you ?
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- Joined: Thu, 14 Jan 2010 7:45 pm
- Location: Bedok
It's not so much what I'm willing to give up or not, I can't really help what I happen to believe - but I have read that some folks have converted "for convenience" and I'm interested to know what their experience has been.nakatago wrote:On the pragmatic side, you're atheist and you're not willing to give that up.
As for the crime element of it - I know that she would be violating Islamic rules by marrying a non-Muslim. I also know that in Malaysia this would be considered a criminal act as well. I don't know what the position in Singapore is. Would this be considered a criminal act for her or for both of us or would it amount "only" to a breach of Islamic rules.nakatago wrote:On the pragmatic side, you're atheist and you're not willing to give that up.
On the other hand, if you don't convert and your girlfriend stays with you, your girlfriend will be committing a crime. Can you live with that?
Extremely good point and I would find it very difficult to consider putting her in that possition. Again I wonder how others in a similar situation have faced this issue?nakatago wrote: if you don't convert and your girlfriend stays with you, your girlfriend will be committing a crime. Can you live with that?
Never regret anything that made you smile
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- Member
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- Joined: Thu, 14 Jan 2010 7:45 pm
- Location: Bedok
That's ok can live without. Won't stop drinking though but my gf enjoys the occasional sip as wellSGBoyxxx wrote:no pork for you

Out of the question!!! (but I also read non necessary if already an adult)SGBoyxxx wrote: and ur dick ..have to
And I also know some Malays who puff, and who eat during Ramadan. They can get away with it in Singapore, but in Malaysia sure would be getting rounded up....
Never regret anything that made you smile
- guruvishwanath
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I have not personally experienced this. I have a few friends who have happily married, with kids living here. Spouses range from British, French, Spanish (I know, Spanish?). and Kiwi
They have been married in the range of 7 to 2 years. And still going strong! Wives are smart, hard working, good partners, great mothers and fantastic friends. Did I mention hard working? And I went for one of the weddings. There was a civil ceremony but they also had a nikah for which the invitation was printed and sent to us with the given name of the groom. All my buddies went through with it, despite some of their parents putting up a fuss, because they loved their g/f and now wives and they were willing to do what is needful.
Yes, you have to get a new name for the nikah. No, you dont have to follow the ritual post married unless you are planning to live in Middle East/Malaysia/Indonesia. More often than not, its the hinterland areas which might get you in pickle, but modern cities are crowded and chances of being harassed are less.
And its not a major chaotic challenge by the authorities here. If at all you get grief, it might from her parents. But then again, it depends on thier own outlook of life.
Good Luck!

Yes, you have to get a new name for the nikah. No, you dont have to follow the ritual post married unless you are planning to live in Middle East/Malaysia/Indonesia. More often than not, its the hinterland areas which might get you in pickle, but modern cities are crowded and chances of being harassed are less.
And its not a major chaotic challenge by the authorities here. If at all you get grief, it might from her parents. But then again, it depends on thier own outlook of life.
Good Luck!
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