Next time you have a bad day at work, think of this guy.
Rob is a commercial saturation diver for Global Divers in Louisiana.
He performs underwater repairs on offshore drilling rigs.
Below is an E-mail he sent to his sister.
She then sent it to a radio station in Ft. Wayne, Indiana, who was
sponsoring a worst job experience contest.
Needless to say, she won.
Just another note from your bottom-dwelling brother.
Last week I had a bad day at the office.
I know you've been feeling down lately at work, so I thought I would
share my dilemma with you to make you realize it's not so bad after
all. Before I can tell you what happened to me, I first must bore you
with a few technicalities of my job.
As you know, my office lies at the bottom of the sea. I wear a suit to
the office. It's a wetsuit. This time of year the water is quite cool.
So what we do to keep warm is this:
We have a diesel-powered industrial water heater. This $20,000 piece
of equipment sucks the water out of the sea, heats it to a delightful
temperature, then pumps it down to the diver through a garden hose
which is taped to the air hose.
Now this sounds like a darn good plan, and I've used it several times
with no complaints.
What I do, when I get to the bottom and start working, is take the
hose and stuff it down the back of my wetsuit. This floods my whole
suit with warm water. It's like working in a Jacuzzi.
Everything was going well until all of a sudden, my bum started to
So, of course, I scratched it. This only made things worse. Within a
few seconds my bum started to burn! I pulled the hose out from my
back, but the damage was done. In agony I realized what had happened.
The hot water machine had sucked up a jellyfish and pumped it into my
Now, since I don't have any hair on my back, the jellyfish couldn't
stick to it.
However, the crack of my bum was not as fortunate. When I scratched
what I thought was an itch, I was actually grinding the jellyfish into
the crack of my bum.
I informed the dive supervisor of my dilemma over the communicator.
His instructions were unclear due to the fact that he, along with five
other divers, were all laughing hysterically. Needless to say I
aborted the dive.
I was instructed to make three agonizing in-water decompression stops
totaling thirty-five minutes before I could reach the surface to begin
my chamber dry decompression.
When I arrived at the surface, I was wearing nothing but my brass
As I climbed out of the water, the medic, with tears of laughter
running down his face, handed me a tube of cream and told me to rub it
on my bum as soon as I got in the chamber. The cream put the fire out,
but I couldn't poo for two days because my bum was swollen shut.
So, next time you're having a bad day at work, think about how much
worse it would be if you had a jellyfish shoved up your arse.
Now repeat to yourself, I love my job, I love my job, I love my job.
Now whenever you have a bad day, ask yourself, is this a jellyfish bad
May you NEVER have a jellyfish bad day!!!!