Singapore Expats Forum

I often wonder what's in the water . . .

Chats, Flames, Jokes, Junks. Don't know where to post ? You've just found the right place.
User avatar
Global Citizen
Reporter
Reporter
Posts: 675
Joined: Mon, 07 Mar 2005
Location: Still looking for Paradise

Postby Global Citizen » Thu, 22 Oct 2009 9:22 pm

Vaucluse, thank you for your astute observations. One of the reasons I rarely post here anymore. Same crap different day. You're so right, they'd never try the same stuff they pull here, back home but out here apparently it's fair game to bully, intimidate and push around locals and as if that isn't bad enough the gall of some of these posters to then brag about it here.

Personally, I'm pleased as punch that the government is FINALLY taking heed and slowing down the process of visas and prs. Quality over quantity works everytime.
One man's meat is another's poison.

User avatar
ScoobyDoes
Manager
Manager
Posts: 1650
Joined: Wed, 29 Nov 2006
Location: A More Lucky Spot

Postby ScoobyDoes » Fri, 23 Oct 2009 9:51 am

road.not.taken wrote:Glass houses and all that? That only goes so far. The judge on the bench is a sinner like the rest of us, but I for one am glad when he puts a rapist behind bars.



The two topics are unrelated but in the end, in your example, it still comes back to restitution and even one day, that judge will get his punishment.

What goes around, comes around.

User avatar
Vaucluse
Director
Director
Posts: 3443
Joined: Sun, 10 Jul 2005

Postby Vaucluse » Fri, 23 Oct 2009 9:55 am

vbelle wrote:
Nath21 wrote: I move on cursing under my breath how rude asian tissues can be.


you might want to re-phrase that to Singaporean tissue....


Nah, to some enlightened westerners all tissues are the same! :)

scoobydoes wrote:
My point was more along the lines that we cannot completely moan and complain about what others do, when we from time to time are equally guilty of being a knob/tool/dickwipe/snot or whatever.


A very good point, but people like the ones I've alluded to really must think their shit don't stink.

As for being a dickwipe . . . I presume you are talking of males only

road.not.take wrote:
The judge on the bench is a sinner like the rest of us


"Let he who is without sin cast the first stone."

Her come de judge, here come de judge! Image

Global Citizen wrote:
One of the reasons I rarely post here anymore


You're not alone in that, GC . . . and it is quite understandable.
they'd never try the same stuff they pull here, back home


Of course not as they'd end up with a broken nose or worse . . .

The attitude is simply put; arrogance and feelings of superiority.


What really prompted me to write this was the post by that Mic Moron abut abusing that woman with her child standing right there, witnessing this foul-mouthed foreigner having a go at his mum . . .

Yes, Big Guy . . . try doing that in your country and see how long your stay in hospital would be . . .
......................................................

'nuff said Image

User avatar
Saint
Director
Director
Posts: 3535
Joined: Thu, 16 Jun 2005
Location: The Juban Stand, Boat Quay
Contact:

Postby Saint » Fri, 23 Oct 2009 10:10 am

Locals wouldn't to that lady about her lad taking a pee, they would just Stomp her!

Which reminds me, it's Friday which mean a winding down afternoon and my weekly review of Stomp :cool:

User avatar
nakatago
Moderator
Moderator
Posts: 8333
Joined: Tue, 01 Sep 2009
Location: Sister Margaret’s School for Wayward Children
Contact:

Postby nakatago » Fri, 23 Oct 2009 10:48 am

Vaucluse wrote:"Let he who is without sin cast the first stone."


Just read on until the end...

[quote]The experts in the law and the Pharisees brought a woman who had been caught committing adultery. They made her stand in front of them and said to Jesus, “Teacher, this woman was caught in the very act of adultery. In the law Moses commanded us to stone to death such women. What then do you say?”

User avatar
Vaucluse
Director
Director
Posts: 3443
Joined: Sun, 10 Jul 2005

Postby Vaucluse » Fri, 23 Oct 2009 11:12 am

That was Jesus Martinez from East LA









(Nice one :) )
......................................................



'nuff said Image

User avatar
nakatago
Moderator
Moderator
Posts: 8333
Joined: Tue, 01 Sep 2009
Location: Sister Margaret’s School for Wayward Children
Contact:

Postby nakatago » Fri, 23 Oct 2009 11:15 am

Vaucluse wrote:That was Jesus Martinez from East LA


Really? I just remember it from UNIX fortune cookies.

User avatar
vbelle
Chatter
Chatter
Posts: 257
Joined: Thu, 23 Apr 2009
Location: singapore

Postby vbelle » Fri, 23 Oct 2009 2:27 pm

Vaucluse wrote:
vbelle wrote:
Nath21 wrote: I move on cursing under my breath how rude asian tissues can be.


you might want to re-phrase that to Singaporean tissue....


Nah, to some enlightened westerners all tissues are the same! :)



:(

this wont happen in my country!
(most likely someone will take the tissue..even they dont need the table :D )

User avatar
econoMIC
Chatter
Chatter
Posts: 298
Joined: Fri, 25 Sep 2009
Location: London/Singapore (back for good 29 Jul 2010)

Re: I often wonder what's in the water . . .

Postby econoMIC » Fri, 23 Oct 2009 4:09 pm

Vaucluse wrote:...Now we have another absolute legend, let's just call him Dick, berating the mother of a child who had to relieve himself in a moment of emergency . . . in a gutter. A dweeb showing his masculinity!
One can just imagine the sheer exhilaration of this fine example of western omnipotence and sheer power as he towers over the woman, unleashing a testosterone-fuelled barrage at this peasant . . . this wretched toe-rag local . . . Surprisingly she didn't pee herself in sheer horror.

One can just see the happiness that this granite-like self-appointed master of public order must have felt as the child of this woman turned into a round-eye in fear because his mother was being verbally abused . . . Image

...


Wow deep post, call me Dick or arshole or whatever you want. I don't give a sh1t if it makes you feel better. If you like people shitting and urinating on your driveway right outside the entrance door of your home where you walk every day then that is fine with me. I on the other hand prefer some hygiene. And guess what, my wife who is Singaporean born and bread was happy I spoke to the lady.

I am also amazed about your eye witness account of how I intimidated this woman. Fantastic memory of yours given the fact that you were not even there. I guess you have no conflict solving skills at all and that is why you assume the worst but don't consider that people can actually speak normally to each other. Good for you. Fortunately not everybody is as backward and some people can discuss issues rather than do angry posts calling people names or intimidating them. But hey, if this is the only way you can feel about yourself, then be my guest. I pity you and hope this will make you feel better about yourself and the 1" down your pants.

So for all the other filthy pigs out there of all ages, feel free to shite and urinate on all the public roads all over the world if it makes you feel better, even if the nearest toilet is 20 metres away only which is equal to a 40 seconds walk. Who cares that people step on that drain when they go through their entrance door, as long as you are happy who cares right?

Geez Vaucluse, if arseholes could fly, your home would be a major airport. I hope you feel better about yourself now pretending to be funny when you are not and getting the reaction you want to force but don't because it is all fun. As for talking normally to each other, well this mental faecal matter of yours shows it is wasted on you. But please whatever you do, don't fall of your high horse and please never stop being that self righteous.
a.k.a. littlegreenman

User avatar
vbelle
Chatter
Chatter
Posts: 257
Joined: Thu, 23 Apr 2009
Location: singapore

Postby vbelle » Fri, 23 Oct 2009 5:04 pm

speaking of s**t...i was walking out of the HDB one day when i saw this pile next to the kids playground...and i thought it must be some irresponsible dog owner

until few metres later i saw this old man...trying to clean his feet...in the grass and i realise..it wasnt a dog..it was him!! OMG

what i did? just walk pass and hold my breath..

who should be blamed? the old man?the kids for not taking care of him?not sure...as he was pretty old..like 70-80..

Nath21
Chatter
Chatter
Posts: 256
Joined: Wed, 20 May 2009
Location: Singapore

Postby Nath21 » Tue, 27 Oct 2009 12:19 pm

vbelle wrote:
Nath21 wrote: I move on cursing under my breath how rude asian tissues can be.


you might want to re-phrase that to Singaporean tissue....


No actually I had checked before (nothing much else to do when you see so many tissues) the tissues are made in lots of different countries in ASIA not singapore therefore I blame the asians tissue for not talking back to me and hogging the chairs. I cant blame singaporeans because I dont know the nationality of people who left the tissues there. You will notice I called singaporeans when referring to cars because they have singaporean number plates so I have some evidence to go off but again they could be visiting and borowing a locals cars and that could be the root cause of the parking habits. Either way it was tongue in cheek anwser so no I dont want to rephrase it.

User avatar
vbelle
Chatter
Chatter
Posts: 257
Joined: Thu, 23 Apr 2009
Location: singapore

Postby vbelle » Tue, 27 Oct 2009 1:54 pm

Nath21 wrote: I cant blame singaporeans because I dont know the nationality of people who left the tissues there.


i thought its a widely known fact that getting a table with tissue is SG culture :D

some other bloody asians might done this too....:D

lets blame the tissue to avoid prejudice..

Nath21
Chatter
Chatter
Posts: 256
Joined: Wed, 20 May 2009
Location: Singapore

Postby Nath21 » Tue, 27 Oct 2009 3:43 pm

Im not going to appease your self appointed humourless political correctness. If you cant see the humour albeit far from comic genius thats your own problem. Keep trolling im sure you will find many other politically incorrect statements and racist comments wherever you look. If that fails being a spelling nazi often works for some people.

"i thought its a widely known fact that getting a table with tissue is SG culture" Do you mind rephrasing this as comments such as this which are offensive because they sterotype singaporeans as having a monopoly on tissue culture. The rules of buzz, bagging etc have not been developed in singapore with it being such a young country. It has evolved of course from the shotgun rules. And I leave you with them so you can ponder you hypocritical nature and concentrate on what you do best using smily faces in your blogs.

The Theory
The term "Shotgun" refers to the front passenger seat of an automobile. "Calling Shotgun" is the act of claiming the position of Shotgun for one's self. As this position is the most coveted of all positions when riding in a car, the following list of rules has been created to ensure that Shotgun can be acquired in a fair and equitable manner by any passenger of an automobile.

The History
The history of calling "Shotgun" goes back to the days of covered wagons and the Wild West. On a trip across the plains, the driver of a wagon would hold the reins of his horse team and concentrate on driving. This left him and the occupants of his wagon susceptible to sneak attacks from bandits and thieves. To avoid this atrocious circumstance it became necessary for one person to sit next to the driver with a shotgun and fend off the enemy.

Defending against bandits is no longer the priority of Shotgun however, but it has evolved into a pre-driving ritual that is experienced before almost every car ride across America and even the world. Because of the obvious evolution that has already occurred with Shotgun, we ask you to consider Shotgun as a living entity and be aware that it is always changing for the better good of society.

The Rules
The following rules have been created through many years of exploring the ritual of Shotgun and are designed with the idea of fairness to all as the main priority. They are also the most complete and comprehensive listing of Shotgun rules available today.

You Must Say The Word "Shotgun"
You must say the word "Shotgun" to stake your claim on Shotgun. This must be done clearly and loud enough so that at least one other to-be occupant of the vehicle can hear you. No variations of this word are acceptable. After you have rightfully called Shotgun, you have exclusive rights to Shotgun for that ride. However, if no one hears you call Shotgun it is still fair game for everyone.

The Deed Must Be Done Before Shotgun May Be Called
For these rules to work properly, it is essential for you to understand and accept the concept of the "Deed". Shotgun may only be called after the "deed is done". Simply stated, the deed is any activity or objective that directly precedes the ride in the automobile. The deed can be anything ranging from a visit at a friend's house, to a shopping trip at the mall, to a visit to the Grand Canyon. We cannot stress how important this is because this establishes a Shotgun-calling time frame that ensures everyone has an equal chance of recognizing when to call Shotgun.

There is no crime greater than calling Shotgun on Monday in reference to the ride to the concert on Friday. Some people choose to play this way, and they are fools.

You Must Be Outside To Call Shotgun
The best way to establish exactly when the deed is done is to define this moment as the instance that you have left the building in which the deed took place. All passengers need not to have exited, but someone must hear you call Shotgun.

Some people choose to use a variation of this rule and require that all occupants be out of the building before Shotgun can be called. This does not work. It leads to everyone calling Shotgun at the same time and often ends in physical violence.

The Barefoot Rule
Since you must be outside to call Shotgun, some people will just grab their shoes, jump outside, and call Shotgun before putting their shoes on. This has been deemed "gaping", and is not a legal procedure. You must have your shoes on, if you choose to wear any, before you may call Shotgun.

The Re-entry Rule
If you call Shotgun and then go back inside for some reason, you must re-call Shotgun after leaving. After you have re-entered the building, Shotgun is once again fair game to all.

When The Deed Is Outdoors
If the deed takes place outdoors, which it often does, the completion of the deed must be agreed upon when Shotgun is called. Any major disputes over the completion of the deed, as with any discrepancy, can be easily settled with a quick round of Rock, Paper, Scissors.

The Line-Of-Sight Rule
In the situation of the deed being a hike or other extensive outdoor activity, you may not call Shotgun until the automobile is within your sight. This rule needs only to be used when the passengers are outside for a long time and have traveled long distances from the car, as with a day of snow skiing.

Miscellaneous

Hand On Door
Shotgun can no longer be called once someone's hand is holding the shotgun door handle. This officially stakes their claim to Shotgun and calling it at this time is just redundant. This is one scenario where a person does not actually have to say Shotgun to get the seat. This rule's importance is that no one has to be around for you to stake your claim to Shotgun, whereas usually one other would-be occupant must be present for you to call it.

Sit Down
If you manage to sit in Shotgun before anyone has called it, you keep the position even if someone else calls shotgun after you sat down. This is very similar to the Hand on Door rule, where you do not actually have to say Shotgun nor does anyone else have to be present for you to claim it.

The Balk
This rule is applied when you have called Shotgun and are waiting for the doors to be unlocked. If you lift the handle while the doors are being unlocked and therefore cause the Shotgun door to remain locked, then you are "voided" for that ride. At this time Shotgun is available for all of the other passengers to call.

Garages
If you enter a garage that is connected to a house or building without having to go outside, then you may call Shotgun as soon as you enter the room. This only applies to small attached garages. Parking structures and detached garages are always considered as being outdoors, even if they are underground.

Multiple Cars
In the situation where a group of people are travelling in multiple cars, you must specify which car you are calling Shotgun for. For example: if the two drivers are named "Bob" and "Sue", then someone must say "Shotgun Bob" or "Shotgun Sue" depending on which car they would like to ride in.

Shotgun Abandonment
If the Shotgun occupant exits the car to accomplish a deed, Shotgun becomes eligible to the remaining passengers in the other seat(s). Once Shotgun is available, you must call Shotgun before the other occupants. Often times there is discrepancy regarding when Shotgun actually becomes available. Several attempts have been made to clearly define this point, yet no truly fair rule can be applied here. For this reason, one game of Rock, Paper, Scissors is usually the easiest way to solve the problem. Exception: If the Shotgun rider abandoned the seat to do a deed for the driver, i.e. purchasing cigarettes or pumping gas, that person retains Shotgun.

Other Seats
Once the Shotgun seat has been called by someone, the other less prestigious seats in the car may be claimed using the same rules as calling Shotgun. For example: you can say "back-right" or "back-center". In addition, you may also negate calls such as "not back-center" which would put you in any seat except for the back-center.

Remain Seated
If you choose to remain in the automobile while the other passengers accomplish their deed, you may retain full rights to Shotgun. Often times not everyone needs to go inside when completing menial deeds. It can be abused however when a certain person is willing to wait in the car for extensive periods of time in order to retain the rights to Shotgun. This type of person is considered to be a "Shotgun Gaper".

The Shotgun Gaper
Gapers (gay-pers) are people who prioritize Shotgun much more than a normal human being. These people will alter their usual behavior and even undermine their own ethics in order to gain the rights to Shotgun. They do this through legal means such as sprinting for an exit, and therefore they cannot be voided. The term gaper was originally given to Will Henderson who once rode Shotgun for 2 months straight. The advantage to being a Shotgun Gaper, of course, is you always get Shotgun. Being a Shotgun Gaper, however, is frowned upon.

If you know any Gapers and disapprove of their gaping ways, visit our Gaper page. There you will find tips and tactics to help you beat the Gaper at their own game.

Voiding
Whenever you break a Shotgun rule as stated in this guide, you may be voided from receiving Shotgun privileges for that ride. Although somewhat discretionary, voiding automatically applies if you call Shotgun while indoors, or if you do not have your shoes on and call Shotgun, or if you display any other blatant disregard for Shotgun protocol. In circumstances of minor Shotgun rules infractions, voiding may not need to be exercised. Being void only applies for the ride directly after the voiding has occurred and after that ride you may regain full Shotgun privileges. Once someone has been voided, then all of the other passengers are free to once again call Shotgun in the correct manner.

Discrepancies
If a discrepancy ever occurs, and they commonly do, over who rightfully gets Shotgun, it is usually settled with a single game of Rock, Paper, Scissors. A common application of this procedure takes place after two people call Shotgun at the exact same time. Click here to play a game of Rock, Paper, Scissors against the computer. Also consider buying one of our professionally printed rulebooks to help settle disputes on the road.

Special note regarding discrepancies: many people use a "driver override" rule that says the driver of the car settles any discrepancies. The driver override rule also says that a driver has the final say about who gets to ride Shotgun. This version of the rule is very subjective and defeats the purpose of calling Shotgun. Rock, Paper, Scissors is a much more fair and objective way of settling any disputes.

New Rules
Because Shotgun is a living entity and constantly changing, new rules always need to be created. Any group of people is welcome to implement their own rule if the situation arises. A new rule will often be created following a major discrepancy. The important thing to remember about this is that the new rule does not take effect until the next car ride.

Exceptions
Although the Shotgun rules have been created with ultimate fairness in mind, there are situations where exceptions need to be implemented.

Significant Others
This is the most important exception. If a significant other (SO) is included in the group of automobile passengers and this person is the SO or potential SO of the driver, then they get automatic Shotgun privileges.

Multiple Calls
There is a rare exception where more than one person may have rightfully called Shotgun. This happens when multiple groups of people are meeting at a car, and both groups had someone claim Shotgun. If it can not be determined who made the call first, then the only fair way to settle the dispute is with Rock, Paper, Scissors.

Owner-Driver Switch
If someone is driving an automobile other than its owner and the owner becomes a passenger, then the owner automatically gets Shotgun. When applied, this rule shows respect to the owner of the car.

The Long Haul
The rules listed above have been designed around the shorter trip (less than 1 hour). For longer journeys it is best not to use these rules because the incentives to be a gaper are too great. Rather, you should divide Shotgun equally among those who want it.

User avatar
vbelle
Chatter
Chatter
Posts: 257
Joined: Thu, 23 Apr 2009
Location: singapore

Postby vbelle » Tue, 27 Oct 2009 6:55 pm

I am sorry if what I said had offended you..

guess i should have think more before i write something..

im not gonna re-phrase my comment though?i do think its a widely known fact..if im wrong, well sorry...anyway its just tissue culture..i've said this to my SG friends..no one was offended...ever..

dazzlebabe
Chatter
Chatter
Posts: 285
Joined: Wed, 15 Dec 2004
Location: Kuala Lumpur!

Postby dazzlebabe » Wed, 28 Oct 2009 9:02 am

vbelle, you are definitely entitled to your thoughts and opinion and no one should tell you how and what to think.

Me thinks the tissue "chopeing" culture originated in Singapore too but I may be wrong.

The Americans may come back to say they started it by placing their guns on the table

The British may come back to say they started it by placing their knives on the table

the list goes on...

:)

TGIW - off to the teh tarik man for my fix!
Just me

DazzleBabe


  • Similar Topics
    Replies
    Views
    Last post

Return to “Leisure Chat, Jokes, Rubbish”

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 1 guest