The Last Person To Post Wins...

[theparlis]

is this still on lol

[nutnut]

Yep

[the lynx]

Yawn~

[sundaymorningstaple]

[the lynx]

Some people should really know the differences!

[sundaymorningstaple]

A MAN'S CONFESSION

I'll confess, you all know I've been pretty lonely lately!

I ended up with an older woman at a bar last night.

She looked pretty good for a 60-year-old.

In fact, she wasn't too bad at all, and I found myself

thinking she probably had a really hot daughter.

We drank a couple of beers, and she asked if I'd ever

had a Sportsman's Double? 'What's that? I asked.

'It's a mother and daughter threesome,' she said.

As my mind began to embrace the idea, and I wondered what

her daughter might look like, I said, 'No, I haven't.'

We drank a bit more, then she said with a wink, 'tonight's

your lucky night'.

We went back to her place.

We walked in.

She put on the hall light and shouted upstairs:

'Mom...you still awake?'

[JR8]

Bwahahaha.... good one!

[nutnut]

ALERTS TO THREATS IN 2012 EUROPE
BY JOHN CLEESE


The English are feeling the pinch in relation to recent events in Libya and have therefore raised their security level from "Miffed" to "Peeved." Soon, though, security levels may be raised yet again to "Irritated" or even "A Bit Cross." The English have not been "A Bit Cross" since the blitz in 1940 when tea supplies nearly ran out. Terrorists have been re-categorized from "Tiresome" to "A Bloody Nuisance." The last time the British issued a "Bloody Nuisance" warning level was in 1588, when threatened by the Spanish Armada.

The Scots have raised their threat level from "Pissed Off" to "Let's get the bds." They don't have any other levels. This is the reason they have been used on the front line of the British army for the last 300 years.

The French government announced yesterday that it has raised its terror alert level from "Run" to "Hide." The only two higher levels in France are "Collaborate" and "Surrender." The rise was precipitated by a recent fire that destroyed France 's white flag factory, effectively paralyzing the country's military capability.

Italy has increased the alert level from "Shout Loudly and Excitedly" to "Elaborate Military Posturing." Two more levels remain: "Ineffective Combat Operations" and "Change Sides."

The Germans have increased their alert state from "Disdainful Arrogance" to "Dress in Uniform and Sing Marching Songs." They also have two higher levels: "Invade a Neighbour" and "Lose."

Belgians, on the other hand, are all on holiday as usual; the only threat they are worried about is NATO pulling out of Brussels .

The Spanish are all excited to see their new submarines ready to deploy. These beautifully designed subs have glass bottoms so the new Spanish navy can get a really good look at the old Spanish navy.

Australia , meanwhile, has raised its security level from "No worries" to "She'll be alright, Mate." Two more escalation levels remain: "Crikey! I think we'll need to cancel the barbie this weekend!" and "The barbie is cancelled." So far no situation has ever warranted use of the final escalation level.

-- John Cleese - British writer, actor and tall person
A final thought: Greece is collapsing, the Iranians are getting aggressive, and Rome is in disarray. Welcome back to 430 BC.

[sundaymorningstaple]

A senior citizen drove his brand new Corvette convertible out of the dealership. Taking off down the road, he floored it to 80 mph, enjoying the wind blowing through what little gray hair he had left. "Amazing," he thought as he flew down I-94, pushing the pedal even more.

Looking in his rear view mirror, he saw a state trooper behind him, lights flashing and siren blaring. He floored it to 100 mph, then 110, then 120. Suddenly he thought, "What am I doing? I'm too old for this," and pulled over to await the trooper's arrival.

Pulling in behind him, the trooper walked up to the Corvette, looked at his watch, and said, "Sir, my shift ends in 30 minutes. Today is Friday. If you can give me a reason for speeding that I've never heard before, I'll let you go."

The old gentleman paused. Then he said, "Years ago, my wife
ran off with a State trooper. I thought you were bringing her back."

"Have a good day, sir," replied the trooper.

[nutnut]

[nakatago]

http://theoatmeal.com/comics/north_south_korea

[x9200]

[sundaymorningstaple]

tic...toc...tic...toc....

Google 'Askew'

[nakatago]

Cyanide & Happiness Explosm.net

[TheDownwardDescend]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FIY41LrvMFQ

Robot Chicken's parody of My Little Pony before MLP: Friendship Is Magic is produced.