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BillyB
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Post by BillyB » Wed, 03 Aug 2011 10:50 pm

A man woke up in a hospital after a serious accident.
He shouted, "Doctor, doctor, I can't feel my legs!"
The doctor replied, "I know you can't - I've cut off your arms!"

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taxico
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Post by taxico » Sat, 06 Aug 2011 10:16 pm

Image

at least the couch was moved...
Aut viam ad caelum inveniam aut faciam

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nakatago
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Post by nakatago » Sat, 06 Aug 2011 11:06 pm

taxico wrote:Image

at least the couch was moved...
that's no way to draw a pentagram just to summon the spirit of vengeance...

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Post by x9200 » Sun, 07 Aug 2011 10:02 am

Is there also a quad standing in the kitchen?
And people are complaining about the landlords.

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BillyB
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Post by BillyB » Fri, 12 Aug 2011 6:07 pm

A construction worker came home just in time to find his wife in bed with another man. So he dragged the man down the stairs to the garage and put his penis in a vice. He secured it tightly and removed the handle. Then he picked up a hacksaw. The man, terrified, screamed, "Stop! Stop! You're not going to..to..Cut it off, are you???!?" The husband said, with a horrible gleam of revenge in his eye, "Nope. You are. I'm going to set the garage on fire!"

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Post by azp123 » Fri, 26 Aug 2011 5:38 pm

A THOUGHT FOR TODAY:
I am not interested to know whether vivisection produces results that are profitable to the human race or doesn't. The pain which it inflicts upon unconsenting animals is the basis of my enmity toward it, and it is to me sufficient justification of the enmity without looking further. -Mark Twain, author and humorist (1835-1910)

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Post by azp123 » Fri, 02 Sep 2011 6:54 pm

A THOUGHT FOR TODAY:This grand show is eternal. It is always sunrise somewhere; the dew is never all dried at once; a shower is forever falling; vapor is ever rising. Eternal sunrise, eternal sunset, eternal dawn and gloaming, on sea and continents and islands, each in its turn, as the round earth rolls. -John Muir, naturalist, explorer, and writer (1838-1914)

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nakatago
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Post by nakatago » Fri, 02 Sep 2011 6:56 pm

QUOTE OF THE DAY:
'

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sundaymorningstaple
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Post by sundaymorningstaple » Fri, 02 Sep 2011 8:42 pm

nakatago wrote:QUOTE OF THE DAY:
'
Is that opening or closing? :wink:
SOME PEOPLE TRY TO TURN BACK THEIR ODOMETERS. NOT ME. I WANT PEOPLE TO KNOW WHY I LOOK THIS WAY. I'VE TRAVELED A LONG WAY, AND SOME OF THE ROADS WEREN'T PAVED. ~ Will Rogers

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Post by azp123 » Fri, 02 Sep 2011 8:51 pm

:P

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sundaymorningstaple
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Post by sundaymorningstaple » Fri, 02 Sep 2011 9:37 pm

Three surgeons are discussing who makes the best patients to operate on.

*The first surgeon said, "Electricians are the best, everything inside is color coded."

*The second surgeon says, "No, I think librarians are, everything inside them is in alphabetical order"

*The third surgeon shut them up when he said: "You're both wrong. Politicians are the easiest to operate on. There's no guts, no heart, no balls, no brains, and no spine. Plus, the head and the arse are interchangeable
SOME PEOPLE TRY TO TURN BACK THEIR ODOMETERS. NOT ME. I WANT PEOPLE TO KNOW WHY I LOOK THIS WAY. I'VE TRAVELED A LONG WAY, AND SOME OF THE ROADS WEREN'T PAVED. ~ Will Rogers

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the lynx
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Post by the lynx » Mon, 12 Sep 2011 12:19 am

sundaymorningstaple wrote:Three surgeons are discussing who makes the best patients to operate on.

*The first surgeon said, "Electricians are the best, everything inside is color coded."

*The second surgeon says, "No, I think librarians are, everything inside them is in alphabetical order"

*The third surgeon shut them up when he said: "You're both wrong. Politicians are the easiest to operate on. There's no guts, no heart, no balls, no brains, and no spine. Plus, the head and the arse are interchangeable
=D>

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Saint
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Post by Saint » Thu, 29 Sep 2011 12:11 pm

Image

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carteki
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Post by carteki » Thu, 29 Sep 2011 3:30 pm

Saint - that is PRICELESS.

Image

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sundaymorningstaple
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Post by sundaymorningstaple » Fri, 30 Sep 2011 12:08 pm

Image
SOME PEOPLE TRY TO TURN BACK THEIR ODOMETERS. NOT ME. I WANT PEOPLE TO KNOW WHY I LOOK THIS WAY. I'VE TRAVELED A LONG WAY, AND SOME OF THE ROADS WEREN'T PAVED. ~ Will Rogers

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