The Last Person To Post Wins...

[BillyB]

A man woke up in a hospital after a serious accident.
He shouted, "Doctor, doctor, I can't feel my legs!"
The doctor replied, "I know you can't - I've cut off your arms!"

[taxico]

at least the couch was moved...

[nakatago]

at least the couch was moved...

that's no way to draw a pentagram just to summon the spirit of vengeance...

[x9200]

Is there also a quad standing in the kitchen?
And people are complaining about the landlords.

[BillyB]

A construction worker came home just in time to find his wife in bed with another man. So he dragged the man down the stairs to the garage and put his penis in a vice. He secured it tightly and removed the handle. Then he picked up a hacksaw. The man, terrified, screamed, "Stop! Stop! You're not going to..to..Cut it off, are you???!?" The husband said, with a horrible gleam of revenge in his eye, "Nope. You are. I'm going to set the garage on fire!"

[azp123]

A THOUGHT FOR TODAY:
I am not interested to know whether vivisection produces results that are profitable to the human race or doesn't. The pain which it inflicts upon unconsenting animals is the basis of my enmity toward it, and it is to me sufficient justification of the enmity without looking further. -Mark Twain, author and humorist (1835-1910)

[azp123]

A THOUGHT FOR TODAY:This grand show is eternal. It is always sunrise somewhere; the dew is never all dried at once; a shower is forever falling; vapor is ever rising. Eternal sunrise, eternal sunset, eternal dawn and gloaming, on sea and continents and islands, each in its turn, as the round earth rolls. -John Muir, naturalist, explorer, and writer (1838-1914)

[nakatago]

QUOTE OF THE DAY:
'

[sundaymorningstaple]

QUOTE OF THE DAY:
'

Is that opening or closing?

[azp123]

[sundaymorningstaple]

Three surgeons are discussing who makes the best patients to operate on.

*The first surgeon said, "Electricians are the best, everything inside is color coded."

*The second surgeon says, "No, I think librarians are, everything inside them is in alphabetical order"

*The third surgeon shut them up when he said: "You're both wrong. Politicians are the easiest to operate on. There's no guts, no heart, no balls, no brains, and no spine. Plus, the head and the arse are interchangeable

[the lynx]

Three surgeons are discussing who makes the best patients to operate on.

*The first surgeon said, "Electricians are the best, everything inside is color coded."

*The second surgeon says, "No, I think librarians are, everything inside them is in alphabetical order"

*The third surgeon shut them up when he said: "You're both wrong. Politicians are the easiest to operate on. There's no guts, no heart, no balls, no brains, and no spine. Plus, the head and the arse are interchangeable

[Saint]

[carteki]

Saint - that is PRICELESS.

[sundaymorningstaple]