Singapore Expats

The Last Person To Post Wins...

Chats, Flames, Jokes, Junks. Don't know where to post ? You've just found the right place.
Post Reply
theparlis
Newbie
Newbie
Posts: 2
Joined: Fri, 09 Mar 2012 2:49 pm

Post by theparlis » Tue, 20 Mar 2012 12:12 pm

is this still on lol

User avatar
nutnut
Manager
Manager
Posts: 1858
Joined: Thu, 24 Nov 2011 10:20 am
Location: The Mainland....

Post by nutnut » Tue, 20 Mar 2012 12:21 pm

Yep
nutnut

User avatar
the lynx
Governor
Governor
Posts: 5281
Joined: Thu, 09 Dec 2010 6:29 pm
Location: Location: Location: Location: Location: Location: Location: Location: Location: Location: Location:

Post by the lynx » Tue, 20 Mar 2012 12:47 pm

Yawn~

User avatar
sundaymorningstaple
Moderator
Moderator
Posts: 40357
Joined: Thu, 11 Nov 2004 1:26 pm
Answers: 21
Location: Retired on the Little Red Dot

Post by sundaymorningstaple » Tue, 03 Apr 2012 1:33 pm

Image
SOME PEOPLE TRY TO TURN BACK THEIR ODOMETERS. NOT ME. I WANT PEOPLE TO KNOW WHY I LOOK THIS WAY. I'VE TRAVELED A LONG WAY, AND SOME OF THE ROADS WEREN'T PAVED. ~ Will Rogers

User avatar
the lynx
Governor
Governor
Posts: 5281
Joined: Thu, 09 Dec 2010 6:29 pm
Location: Location: Location: Location: Location: Location: Location: Location: Location: Location: Location:

Post by the lynx » Tue, 03 Apr 2012 1:50 pm

Some people should really know the differences!

Image

User avatar
sundaymorningstaple
Moderator
Moderator
Posts: 40357
Joined: Thu, 11 Nov 2004 1:26 pm
Answers: 21
Location: Retired on the Little Red Dot

Beware of Older Women :o

Post by sundaymorningstaple » Thu, 05 Apr 2012 11:18 pm

A MAN'S CONFESSION

I'll confess, you all know I've been pretty lonely lately!

I ended up with an older woman at a bar last night.

She looked pretty good for a 60-year-old.

In fact, she wasn't too bad at all, and I found myself

thinking she probably had a really hot daughter.

We drank a couple of beers, and she asked if I'd ever

had a Sportsman's Double? 'What's that? I asked.

'It's a mother and daughter threesome,' she said.

As my mind began to embrace the idea, and I wondered what

her daughter might look like, I said, 'No, I haven't.'

We drank a bit more, then she said with a wink, 'tonight's

your lucky night'.

We went back to her place.

We walked in.

She put on the hall light and shouted upstairs:

'Mom...you still awake?'
SOME PEOPLE TRY TO TURN BACK THEIR ODOMETERS. NOT ME. I WANT PEOPLE TO KNOW WHY I LOOK THIS WAY. I'VE TRAVELED A LONG WAY, AND SOME OF THE ROADS WEREN'T PAVED. ~ Will Rogers

User avatar
JR8
Immortal
Immortal
Posts: 16522
Joined: Wed, 24 Mar 2010 12:43 pm
Location: K. Puki Manis

Post by JR8 » Thu, 05 Apr 2012 11:50 pm

Bwahahaha.... good one! 8-)

User avatar
nutnut
Manager
Manager
Posts: 1858
Joined: Thu, 24 Nov 2011 10:20 am
Location: The Mainland....

Post by nutnut » Fri, 06 Apr 2012 10:28 am

ALERTS TO THREATS IN 2012 EUROPE
BY JOHN CLEESE


The English are feeling the pinch in relation to recent events in Libya and have therefore raised their security level from "Miffed" to "Peeved." Soon, though, security levels may be raised yet again to "Irritated" or even "A Bit Cross." The English have not been "A Bit Cross" since the blitz in 1940 when tea supplies nearly ran out. Terrorists have been re-categorized from "Tiresome" to "A Bloody Nuisance." The last time the British issued a "Bloody Nuisance" warning level was in 1588, when threatened by the Spanish Armada.

The Scots have raised their threat level from "Pissed Off" to "Let's get the bds." They don't have any other levels. This is the reason they have been used on the front line of the British army for the last 300 years.

The French government announced yesterday that it has raised its terror alert level from "Run" to "Hide." The only two higher levels in France are "Collaborate" and "Surrender." The rise was precipitated by a recent fire that destroyed France 's white flag factory, effectively paralyzing the country's military capability.

Italy has increased the alert level from "Shout Loudly and Excitedly" to "Elaborate Military Posturing." Two more levels remain: "Ineffective Combat Operations" and "Change Sides."

The Germans have increased their alert state from "Disdainful Arrogance" to "Dress in Uniform and Sing Marching Songs." They also have two higher levels: "Invade a Neighbour" and "Lose."

Belgians, on the other hand, are all on holiday as usual; the only threat they are worried about is NATO pulling out of Brussels .

The Spanish are all excited to see their new submarines ready to deploy. These beautifully designed subs have glass bottoms so the new Spanish navy can get a really good look at the old Spanish navy.

Australia , meanwhile, has raised its security level from "No worries" to "She'll be alright, Mate." Two more escalation levels remain: "Crikey! I think we'll need to cancel the barbie this weekend!" and "The barbie is cancelled." So far no situation has ever warranted use of the final escalation level.

-- John Cleese - British writer, actor and tall person
A final thought: Greece is collapsing, the Iranians are getting aggressive, and Rome is in disarray. Welcome back to 430 BC.
nutnut

User avatar
sundaymorningstaple
Moderator
Moderator
Posts: 40357
Joined: Thu, 11 Nov 2004 1:26 pm
Answers: 21
Location: Retired on the Little Red Dot

Post by sundaymorningstaple » Tue, 17 Apr 2012 9:09 am

Image

A senior citizen drove his brand new Corvette convertible out of the dealership. Taking off down the road, he floored it to 80 mph, enjoying the wind blowing through what little gray hair he had left. "Amazing," he thought as he flew down I-94, pushing the pedal even more.

Looking in his rear view mirror, he saw a state trooper behind him, lights flashing and siren blaring. He floored it to 100 mph, then 110, then 120. Suddenly he thought, "What am I doing? I'm too old for this," and pulled over to await the trooper's arrival.

Pulling in behind him, the trooper walked up to the Corvette, looked at his watch, and said, "Sir, my shift ends in 30 minutes. Today is Friday. If you can give me a reason for speeding that I've never heard before, I'll let you go."

The old gentleman paused. Then he said, "Years ago, my wife
ran off with a State trooper. I thought you were bringing her back."

"Have a good day, sir," replied the trooper.
SOME PEOPLE TRY TO TURN BACK THEIR ODOMETERS. NOT ME. I WANT PEOPLE TO KNOW WHY I LOOK THIS WAY. I'VE TRAVELED A LONG WAY, AND SOME OF THE ROADS WEREN'T PAVED. ~ Will Rogers

User avatar
nutnut
Manager
Manager
Posts: 1858
Joined: Thu, 24 Nov 2011 10:20 am
Location: The Mainland....

Post by nutnut » Wed, 18 Apr 2012 1:04 pm

Image
nutnut

User avatar
nakatago
Moderator
Moderator
Posts: 8363
Joined: Tue, 01 Sep 2009 11:23 pm
Location: Sister Margaret’s School for Wayward Children

Post by nakatago » Wed, 18 Apr 2012 1:30 pm

"A quokka is what would happen if there was an anime about kangaroos."

x9200
Moderator
Moderator
Posts: 10073
Joined: Mon, 07 Sep 2009 4:06 pm
Location: Singapore

Post by x9200 » Tue, 24 Apr 2012 12:50 pm

Image

User avatar
sundaymorningstaple
Moderator
Moderator
Posts: 40357
Joined: Thu, 11 Nov 2004 1:26 pm
Answers: 21
Location: Retired on the Little Red Dot

Post by sundaymorningstaple » Wed, 25 Apr 2012 3:42 pm

tic...toc...tic...toc....

Google 'Askew'

Image
SOME PEOPLE TRY TO TURN BACK THEIR ODOMETERS. NOT ME. I WANT PEOPLE TO KNOW WHY I LOOK THIS WAY. I'VE TRAVELED A LONG WAY, AND SOME OF THE ROADS WEREN'T PAVED. ~ Will Rogers

User avatar
nakatago
Moderator
Moderator
Posts: 8363
Joined: Tue, 01 Sep 2009 11:23 pm
Location: Sister Margaret’s School for Wayward Children

Post by nakatago » Tue, 08 May 2012 2:37 pm

Image
Cyanide & Happiness Explosm.net
"A quokka is what would happen if there was an anime about kangaroos."

TheDownwardDescend
Newbie
Newbie
Posts: 3
Joined: Sun, 18 Mar 2012 11:07 am

Post by TheDownwardDescend » Thu, 10 May 2012 4:22 pm

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FIY41LrvMFQ

Robot Chicken's parody of My Little Pony before MLP: Friendship Is Magic is produced.

Post Reply
  • Similar Topics
    Replies
    Views
    Last post

Return to “Leisure Chat, Jokes, Rubbish”

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 23 guests