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cbavasi
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What would you do?

Postby cbavasi » Wed, 02 Sep 2009 9:30 am

Yesterday I was at the Bugis MRT entrance and saw a youngish guy grabbing a girl by the wrist and dragging her backwards down the stairs out of the station. I stopped and turned around and wanted to see if she was ok. He was talking in her ear, holding her wrist and her purse in the other hand and wouldn't let her go. I was looking around to see if I could find anyone else to help - or better yet a police man. He then put his hand to her throat and was holding her down on a bench and still talking in her ear. I called my husband b/c I wasn't sure if I should do something... he was a little bit like "why are you calling me" and then told me to call the police if I was that concerned. I just kept thinking if I was in the US I would call 911 or just grab someone to help - but I'm not even sure of the phone number for police or what would happen if I got involved.
Long story short the girl finally stood up and then started arguing with him so I figured she wasn't in that much danger... she didn't have any obvious bruises on her or anything. But I'm curious... what would you do in that situation??

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sundaymorningstaple
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Postby sundaymorningstaple » Wed, 02 Sep 2009 9:45 am

I would have called security at the station.

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Postby bigfilsing » Wed, 02 Sep 2009 11:38 am

Just scream and wave your arms. No really ...anything that draws attention ( the arm waving is for the CCTV)
Unless you're damn sure you can handle the agressor stay away from them but try to draw attention to the incident
A little personal embarassement can make a huge difference. It's not illegal to scream in SIngapore ( not yet anyway) go for it

Good luck

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Postby littlegreenman » Wed, 02 Sep 2009 1:28 pm

sundaymorningstaple wrote:I would have called security at the station.


I am with the fisherman. Although I am a 6'7" Ang Moh and can take on pretty much every guy in Singapore (they are afraid of tall people) I would only do this in an extreme emergency (say he had a knife). If you interfere yourself and it comes to a fight you might be the one who then is found to be guilty in the end if the girl doesn't agree that you intervened to help here etc. So the best thing is to call station security. First I would give him a loud "Oi" though and tell him that if he doesn't take his hands off her I would call security.

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Postby cbavasi » Wed, 02 Sep 2009 1:58 pm

This was outside the MRT and I couldn't find any security... they were then on the bench by the bus stop in front. The auntie minding the newspaper stand was looking, as were other people - but everyone seemed to turn a blind eye. I thought maybe it was one of those hidden camera shows seeing if anyone would help - but clearly it wasn't. So what is the number for the police? Would someone show up? Would I have to stick around? Thinking back - that poor girl - he was definitely manhandling her and I could only imagine if that was in public what it would escalate to in private.

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Postby sassy5 » Wed, 02 Sep 2009 2:07 pm

i would had yelled at the guy to stop! and then yelled for the security!
~ i guess the louder i yell, the more attention i get and maybe the guy would stop? if he doesn't, i will go up and push him away. whatever it is, thats jus not the way to treat a lady or any human being.

tis is like a similiar case of domestic abuse, like the gal who whacked the guy's crotch with her wedges and grabbed his balls (as punishment) in public. ;S

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Postby cbavasi » Wed, 02 Sep 2009 2:16 pm

In my own country I would have definitely gotten someone else to help me - but I wasn't sure what the implications are for me as an expat here on a dependants pass - could I get in trouble? It's a tricky one...

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littlegreenman
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Postby littlegreenman » Wed, 02 Sep 2009 2:23 pm

Yeah unfortunately people in Singapore would most likely not do anything as it is the culture. The number for the police is 999 but until they arrive (even if they are there in 2 mins only) the guy might have already disappeared with the girl. It is difficult. I think your best bet would be to ask another male nearby to help you intervene. Whether he would do anything is a different issue.

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Postby Strong Eagle » Wed, 02 Sep 2009 2:28 pm

littlegreenman wrote:Yeah unfortunately people in Singapore would most likely not do anything as it is the culture. The number for the police is 999 but until they arrive (even if they are there in 2 mins only) the guy might have already disappeared with the girl. It is difficult. I think your best bet would be to ask another male nearby to help you intervene. Whether he would do anything is a different issue.


Hell, LGM, this isn't limited to Singapore. Wasn't so long ago a man was beaten to death in New York in front of hundreds and no one did a thing.

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sundaymorningstaple
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Postby sundaymorningstaple » Wed, 02 Sep 2009 2:34 pm

cbavasi wrote:So what is the number for the police?


Aiyoh! #-o Had you taken a look at my links page long ago, you would have known as it's the very first number at the top of the useful numbers list ....... 999

And 995 will get you an ambulance or the fire department.

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littlegreenman
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Postby littlegreenman » Wed, 02 Sep 2009 2:48 pm

Strong Eagle wrote:
littlegreenman wrote:Yeah unfortunately people in Singapore would most likely not do anything as it is the culture. The number for the police is 999 but until they arrive (even if they are there in 2 mins only) the guy might have already disappeared with the girl. It is difficult. I think your best bet would be to ask another male nearby to help you intervene. Whether he would do anything is a different issue.


Hell, LGM, this isn't limited to Singapore. Wasn't so long ago a man was beaten to death in New York in front of hundreds and no one did a thing.


It is New York, what do you expect? They are Yanks! :wink:

Okay jokes aside, in my head it was slightly different from what I typed above. While in the western world people do not give a crap and just walk away, they don't even realise it, in Asia people DO realise it and watch it as a sort of entertainment.

Having said that, I think if that happens somewhere more rural in North America or Europe people would still say something, not in the major cities though.

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Postby cbavasi » Wed, 02 Sep 2009 3:11 pm

LGM I got what you were saying... funny enough I was looking around for a guy who might be able to help. SMS - I will take a closer look... it took me about a year to realize that was a link on your signature. (What can I say - blonde like that!)

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Postby Strong Eagle » Wed, 02 Sep 2009 3:46 pm

littlegreenman wrote:
Strong Eagle wrote:
littlegreenman wrote:Yeah unfortunately people in Singapore would most likely not do anything as it is the culture. The number for the police is 999 but until they arrive (even if they are there in 2 mins only) the guy might have already disappeared with the girl. It is difficult. I think your best bet would be to ask another male nearby to help you intervene. Whether he would do anything is a different issue.


Hell, LGM, this isn't limited to Singapore. Wasn't so long ago a man was beaten to death in New York in front of hundreds and no one did a thing.


It is New York, what do you expect? They are Yanks! :wink:

Okay jokes aside, in my head it was slightly different from what I typed above. While in the western world people do not give a crap and just walk away, they don't even realise it, in Asia people DO realise it and watch it as a sort of entertainment.

Having said that, I think if that happens somewhere more rural in North America or Europe people would still say something, not in the major cities though.


I think it depends upon the circumstances and people around. I was waiting at a stop light in Houston one night, my boat attached behind, when this guy runs in front of me carrying a purse. Not 10 seconds later this small woman goes running after him. I don't know what possessed me but I slammed my truck into park jumped out and began to pursue the guy.

I chased him for about a block and nearly caught up with him when he turned and attempted to punch me. I ducked and he turned to run across the street. As he did so, I grabbed his collar from behind but instead ripped his shirt off him. He took off running but I was much closer and able to get close enough to push him hard in the back and send him face first into the street. He started to roll over and I kicked him in the gut, then in the head.

About that time 15 people from the nearby Starbucks came by and took him into 'custody'. I picked up the purse, handed it to the woman and 1 minute later the police showed up.

Don't know what possessed me... I could have been hurt, my truck stolen... it was just a spur of the moment thing.

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road.not.taken
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Postby road.not.taken » Wed, 02 Sep 2009 7:24 pm

This sounds crazy, but I read somewhere that in situations like this, (when you are not sure if you should call the police, but want to stop the violence or threat of violence immediately) you either fake a conversation with the police (even while you are really on hold) or take photos with your camera/phone.

So, loudly enough for them to hear you, look right at them but say into your phone: yes? officer? he's about 1.8 meters tall, and he his threatening a woman at the Bugis MRT, he's wearing a blue shirt, etc... This will usually be enough to get him to stop, if you still want to call the authorities you can ~ and he probably thinks because he stopped he can't get into any trouble.

Or just take photos with your phone, this will get people to correct all kinds of bad behavior. Once they know someone is watching, and worse ~ recording the situation, they'll immediately stop what they are doing.

If you want to enlist someone's help at the scene, it's better to call out to a specific person, and not just a generic HELP! You'll get better results if you say: hey guy with the red t-shirt, I need your help now!

That's a tough one cbvasi, my friend had her jaw broken when she got between a battered spouse and her husband.

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Dj SharK
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Postby Dj SharK » Wed, 02 Sep 2009 7:45 pm

Hmm.. Personally, i would just let it ride. But keeping a close eye on them of course.

If he were to hit her physically, i would give him a couple of hits myself.

Might sound cocky but i'm not a fan of seeing a female getting hit by a male no matter what their relationship together is. I grew up seeing such things and i'm not prepared to let something like this slip through.

Well, that's just me. :)


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