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Getting engaged

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Do I ask my girlfriend's parents for permission to propose to her?

Yes
3
60%
No
2
40%
 
Total votes: 5

nervousbritish
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Getting engaged

Postby nervousbritish » Fri, 07 Aug 2009 10:03 pm

I am a British guy and intend to propose to my girlfriend later this year. She is a native Singaporean, her father is of Indian origin and her mother Chinese. What is the tradition in such cultures (they are both Catholic, as am I) regarding proposing, i.e. is it expected that I would ask her parent's permission/blessing before I propose, or do I simply let my gf make up her own mind and then present it to them as a fait d'accomplis?

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ksl
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Postby ksl » Fri, 07 Aug 2009 11:54 pm

There is really no need to take a vote on this subject, you either have respect for her family culture or you do not.
Indian relationships can be highly sensitive, but one thing is for sure respect for inlaws and family must be maintained if possible.

I'm British white and i married for the second time at 50 yrs of age, out of respect and sincerity I asked my wife father, if we could marry, i was a great deal older too.

Customs and traditions should be embraced and protected in my opinion, i would hate to see into the future, and see we are all wearing the same stamp, made by the strongest power in the world. We have our roots and they should be protected at all costs, otherwise we become extinct.

The penis is used to continue your race and evolve with time, the last 200 years of my family heritage as been quite a disappointment to me, that's why I decided to change history, because i can, and I have! When i am dead and gone, I am hoping that, I am contributing to survival of winners and not losers, because losers will only be carried for so long, before the race decides to feed them to the lions all over again. :) Do the right thing and be proud of yourself. Right or wrong in this day and age may mean little to you, but a great deal to the parents....

The risk they say no, is a possibility, but you can solve that problem when you come to it.

I can assure you that I had family against, it's only natural to worry for your nearest, but we are on our 9th year and talk about getting married again, I went straight for the bulls eye, no time for engagement at my age :lol:
Last edited by ksl on Sat, 08 Aug 2009 12:04 am, edited 1 time in total.

nervousbritish
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Postby nervousbritish » Sat, 08 Aug 2009 12:01 am

ksl wrote:There is really no need to take a vote on this subject, you either have respect for her family culture or you do not.
.


I think I may have been misunderstood. It is the cultural traditions which I wish to respect which I am trying to find out about! Whether there is any particular custom relating to this in Singapore (both of her parents were born in Singapore and have lived there all of their lives), and so the Indian and Chinese traditions, along with the Singaporean ones, are those which are important to me and need to be respected, I am just looking for opinions as to whether or not there are any traditions relating to this issue.

Thanks

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ksl
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Postby ksl » Sat, 08 Aug 2009 12:10 am

nervousbritish wrote:
ksl wrote:There is really no need to take a vote on this subject, you either have respect for her family culture or you do not.
.


I think I may have been misunderstood. It is the cultural traditions which I wish to respect which I am trying to find out about! Whether there is any particular custom relating to this in Singapore (both of her parents were born in Singapore and have lived there all of their lives), and so the Indian and Chinese traditions, along with the Singaporean ones, are those which are important to me and need to be respected, I am just looking for opinions as to whether or not there are any traditions relating to this issue.

Thanks
Oh I see, if she has brothers or sisters, you may wish to see what they think, I am catholic too in my heart, with a little from every other religion too. But basically you cannot go wrong, by asking to speak to both parents at the same time, and request their blessing for engagement...that way you cannot go wrong, you are being the real gentleman are you not!

The ceremony is something else, maybe they get the best of both worlds :) Don't be nervous that maybe a sign of weakness, the signs are good if they have a mixed marriage anyway, they have been through the hard times, of people talking behind their backs. But my advice would be to embrace the cultures and integrate to get the most out of it, on both sides of the family. Not always easy being British, but harmless fun for them :)

I think you will find the Indians a little more emotional engaged with family life, than the Chinese, I can relate my experience with my Middle Eastern friends, much warmer and embracing, than with my Chinese friends, the cultures are so wide apart, you will adapt, only if you want to. There is a sacrifice in life as their is in death!


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