sleeping with maids

[Strong Eagle]

then try asking a sensible question. Assuming that it was consensual then what difference does it make whether a scumbag sleeps with a maid, a CEO of a company or anyone else?

In how many cases is this "consensual"? If the man makes the advances he is the employer and has the power to "fire" her if she doesn't do what he wants. In the corporate world that would be called sexual harrassment, in the home it would be slavery.

Okay, it can come from the other side - he might sucumb to her advances. In that case she is playing a dangerous game and the odds of her getting rid of the wife are minimal.

Wives paying 'pillow money' to maids is not unheard of in these parts.

[rugby_guy]

Are you for real?

You would be surprised at the things women who go on home leave get up to in their locals when the poor husband is try to make a living and keep from getting retrenched due to the economy and keep her in the custom that she would like to be kept. Wives can be so High Maintenance and often, because they do not work over here and generally think that they are tai-tais, they become naggers, whingers & complainers. Then they demand to go home and shop, shop, shop. Meanwhile, the poor husband has to put up with a stream of abuse and probably doing without as well as the spouse no longer "feels" like it.

So, which would be better?

1) Let the maid continue with cleaning up the mess the spouse leaves in her wake. At least, with the maid not allowed a boyfriend she's probably clean. And she is already being paid to service the family (just a little more service ) She'll appreciate the overtime probably. She, like the husband has been doing without as well.

OR, 2) He can go to Geylang and take his chances of catching something or getting rolled while the maid sneaks out to find a boyfriend and gets knocked up, thereby depriving the family of their deposit as well.

Are you for real dude? No seriouly, what planet are you from?

So you've had some bad luck with your wife, but don't generalize based on your own experience.

How about option 3) be a man and get a divorce. Then, he can

A) go back to where he's from and pick up another woman or
B) marry the maid
C) throw himself off a bridge because he's a loser

Judging from the immorality of what you said, I say you should go with 3-C. It's better for all of us that way.

[Addadude]

Are you for real dude? No seriouly, what planet are you from?

So you've had some bad luck with your wife, but don't generalize based on your own experience.

How about option 3) be a man and get a divorce. Then, he can

A) go back to where he's from and pick up another woman or
B) marry the maid
C) throw himself off a bridge because he's a loser

Judging from the immorality of what you said, I say you should go with 3-C. It's better for all of us that way.

SMS is from the planet Tongue In Cheek. You did see the pic he posted at the very bottom of his reply didn't you? Methinks you have suffered from too many collapsed scrums...

[nushk]

Personally i dont see any issues with your post but it's not for me to say. thats what moderators are for.

And they do their job ever so diligently . . .

But no, I agree with you. Though this is clearly a wind-up the topic shouldn't be taboo.

It's sounds like one of those, I have a friend...... I want to find out for a friend........ kind of questions

sorry guys, not a wind-up. (a wind-up in my books would be a debate on d*ck sizes of different races). I'm not finding out for a friend either (or a friend of a friend of a friend). I merely want a discussion on this topic - did a search and nothing came up - is it so bad to discuss a topic that happens to be somewhat sensitive?

[nushk]

Wives paying 'pillow money' to maids is not unheard of in these parts.

!!
is that true? huh. wow. I find that hard to believe (not dissing what you said) - I'd think it's more common in the past, as divorces and women-emancipation etc are on the rise now?

I know that growing up with a number of maids, my mum would sooner castrate my dad and then decapitate him should he dare make a pass on any of our helpers.

[OogieBoogie]

i feel the same than carteki.
If the employer make the move to the maid, he's using his superior position to get sexual favor: it's just slavery.
Will the girl give up living in with a caucasian family, who as i heard, are "better" employers than chinese or indian? Will she take the risk to lose her job and being in a very difficult position, maybe having to fly back to her home country?
Come on, the pressure is huge on those girls, and they will probably all say yes, just because saying no would be too risky.

If she makes the move on her employer... well... what can i say... she's stupid and putting herself in a very dangerous position. And the guy is even more stupid to accept. Few words which come to my mind: divorce, losing children, losing a lot of money, maybe losing his job... He has everything to lose and a very little to win.

[sundaymorningstaple]

sorry guys, not a wind-up. (a wind-up in my books would be a debate on d*ck sizes of different races).

That wouldn't be a wind-up. That can be documented with facts in studies. You are starting a topic on what sounds like hear-say evidence. What we are giving you in a round about way are variables of the same problem. What might cause it, how some deal with it and generally we are astonished at the audacity of somebody that would actually do that.

Go home and leave their husband with alone with the maid that is!

After all, the maid is human as well..... Employer/Employee relationships happen all the time. All the way up to the oval orifice sorry, office! Ala Hillary, Bill & Monica!

[rugby_guy]

Are you for real dude? No seriouly, what planet are you from?

So you've had some bad luck with your wife, but don't generalize based on your own experience.

How about option 3) be a man and get a divorce. Then, he can

A) go back to where he's from and pick up another woman or
B) marry the maid
C) throw himself off a bridge because he's a loser

Judging from the immorality of what you said, I say you should go with 3-C. It's better for all of us that way.

SMS is from the planet Tongue In Cheek. You did see the pic he posted at the very bottom of his reply didn't you? Methinks you have suffered from too many collapsed scrums...

Well well well SMS and you should know that even on planet Tongue In Cheek, you do not have sex with your maid because she's "clean" of all things!

[kwassieann]

If it is there on offer, most men will take it married or not. A lot of maids try to better their lifestyles by sleeping with bossman on the offchance he will leave wife for maid..........possible but more likely not. Yes some get taken advantage of but more know exactly what they are doin.

[nushk]

That wouldn't be a wind-up. That can be documented with facts in studies. You are starting a topic on what sounds like hear-say evidence. What we are giving you in a round about way are variables of the same problem. What might cause it, how some deal with it and generally we are astonished at the audacity of somebody that would actually do that.

Go home and leave their husband with alone with the maid that is!

After all, the maid is human as well..... Employer/Employee relationships happen all the time. All the way up to the oval orifice sorry, office! Ala Hillary, Bill & Monica!

would you like names, SMS? definitely not hear-say evidence. I said, 'first-hand' information. from the horses' mouths, so to speak.

yes that is exactly what I want to know/hear: what causes this, how some deal with it.. more than anything, I want to know why, and how common this is.

[pennant]

well, hire a guy instead of a lady...

[ksl]

Wives paying 'pillow money' to maids is not unheard of in these parts.

!!
is that true? huh. wow. I find that hard to believe (not dissing what you said) - I'd think it's more common in the past, as divorces and women-emancipation etc are on the rise now?

I know that growing up with a number of maids, my mum would sooner castrate my dad and then decapitate him should he dare make a pass on any of our helpers.

What the eye doesn't see, the heart doesn't grieve about, the OP is speculating because she does have an idea that it goes on and calls them scum, very naive, to call anyone scum, without first hand knowledge!

And just to plant a seed in the minds of these people, I will say, when i was divorced, for 25 years, I had a steady stream of married women, on my plate, because i wised up.

That married women are the easiest to score for a one night stand because they just want the excitement and sex. You young guys that believe you have a happy marriage, sure have!

Take a leaf from Paul McCartneys lessons of love, it's cheaper to lease a woman, than marry one!

Saying that! It works both ways, when you suckers have paid the price, you will soon learn the the difference between love, sex and profiteering, for those that haven't suffered yet, good luck and learn from the wise ones.

Love can last a life time but sex only lasts the time it takes, SE is quite right, its been going on a life time and more, the more mature and experience one gets, one will realise, the older coots were right after all.

One should really look for statistics on this subject of marriage and infidelity, the last time I looked many years ago, the statistics were like 50/50 for partners having sex without their partners knowledge.

Even a high number of women had illegitimate children based on the fact, that they loved their partner, but preferred an offspring with higher credentials a list of points, like intelligence, professional, and background was noted, so the unknown fathers probably are still in the dark.

This information also supports the TV program on discovery channel, that was on womans basic instincts, is to move on, to a partner that can provide better security and wealth if the opportunity arises.

Now the OP calls the guy's scumbags and also some other naive poster agrees, they should get divorced or even jump off a bridge..

Women have only one thing in mind, survivability, those that do not need a man, normally continue on their career paths, and satisfy their needs, by leasing or having one night stands.

I think the topic is far from new, it's been talked about the lst 200 years!

[bluenose]

I would say that many maids would feel wanted in such situations (with their male bosses taking advantage only), much more wanted, than by some expat wife getting her to scrub floors and walk the dog...why do you think they are so willing??? Maybe a slight chance that the guy will leaves his wife....and a slight chance of a better life is better than none at all?

[sundaymorningstaple]

bluenose. Here we definitely agree. Singapore also has it's own version as well but it's not a employee/employer relationship but it is sex on a slim chance of bettering ones self if possible. They're known as SPGs. And, surprise, surprise, they're found in every country in the world. A lot are married as well as would leave their layabout husbands in a second given an opportunity.

Maybe if the OP had nothing and had no education and no future nor a means to give an education to her children or to put clothes on their backs she might soon see what most of the world already acknowledges. It happens. Especially when the wife neglects the husband. Asia is a bad place to do that because it is like living in a candy store here. So wives, take care of your husbands instead of taking him for granted. It is man's nature to couple with as many females as possible to propagate the species. At the same time that's why women often have multiple partners, to ensure impregnation by the strongest! Same thing. I wonder how many housewifes here have had torrid flings with their Personal Trainers here? Hmmmmm? Paid help as well, yeah? But I bet she doesn't have any indignation over that..... Or the pool boy or the gardener? We make fun of it, but unfortunately it does happen with great regularity.

[morenangpinay]

oh wow...really? alot ? thats very sad.