sleeping with maids

[nushk]

lately, over drinks and such, I've had more and more first hand information that some (caucasian) expat men in singapore sleep with their maids!


few questions: why sleep with their maids? I mean, these are married, with kids, -type of expat men. their wives live with them. sometimes, the wives and kids return to homeland for summer holidays and then these (scum) men take the opportunity to sleep with their maids. do these men not think that it is utterly degrading and hurtful to sleep with a woman who lives in the same house as the wife?! imagine the dynamics between the wife and the maid. think of the poor wife, not only being cheated on, but having to live with and communicate with the woman the husband is sleeping with - and oblivious to boot!

I mean, I do not condone extra-marital affairs (or any kind of cheating in a relationship, married or not, at all). but to sleep with one's maid is beyond scummy.. if a man really has his needs, and the wife (all presumptions) does not have s*x with her husband, then a man could hire a prostitute, or have an affair with some woman, etc.

why do these maids allow it? (this is assuming that the maids are consensual) do they do it in the hope that the man would ditch the wife and kids one day and go to her? does he pay her a lot of money that she could not refuse? all these are bordering on an abuse of power.. and I am sure the law will come down hard on these men.



most importantly, was it just a coincidence that I have been hearing these stories more frequently than ever, or is it something that goes on very often?


sigh.

[bigfilsing]

Can anybody else hear the creeking of the thin ice nushk is on ...or is it just me

[smashme1984]

Scums are scums, I dont think hiring a prostitute will be any better, if that was the case, then arguably, the scum could pay the maid a sum of money for compensation to curb his sexual tensions / needs.

And, maybe,just maybe, the wife knows about it, And "might" understand his sexual urges and desires, and would rather her husband do it with the maid, if consent was granted, rather than to fool around outside and risk diseases, affairs, and the unknown

[nushk]

Can anybody else hear the creeking of the thin ice nushk is on ...or is it just me

please, with all sincerity, please let me know if I have done anything against the rules (or norms) here by posting what I did. is it a taboo topic? have I said anything wrong? let me know.

I'm not a troll. I just want some answers.

[sundaymorningstaple]

Are you for real?

You would be surprised at the things women who go on home leave get up to in their locals when the poor husband is try to make a living and keep from getting retrenched due to the economy and keep her in the custom that she would like to be kept. Wives can be so High Maintenance and often, because they do not work over here and generally think that they are tai-tais, they become naggers, whingers & complainers. Then they demand to go home and shop, shop, shop. Meanwhile, the poor husband has to put up with a stream of abuse and probably doing without as well as the spouse no longer "feels" like it.

So, which would be better?

1) Let the maid continue with cleaning up the mess the spouse leaves in her wake. At least, with the maid not allowed a boyfriend she's probably clean. And she is already being paid to service the family (just a little more service ) She'll appreciate the overtime probably. She, like the husband has been doing without as well.

OR, 2) He can go to Geylang and take his chances of catching something or getting rolled while the maid sneaks out to find a boyfriend and gets knocked up, thereby depriving the family of their deposit as well.

[Allibert]

then try asking a sensible question. Assuming that it was consensual then what difference does it make whether a scumbag sleeps with a maid, a CEO of a company or anyone else?

[bigfilsing]

Can anybody else hear the creeking of the thin ice nushk is on ...or is it just me

please, with all sincerity, please let me know if I have done anything against the rules (or norms) here by posting what I did. is it a taboo topic? have I said anything wrong? let me know.

I'm not a troll. I just want some answers.

As topics like yours generally release a torrent of comments on all kinds of related issues ( and some non related as well) i was merely identifyig the precarious nature of your question (s)

Personally i dont see any issues with your post but it's not for me to say. thats what moderators are for.

You've inadvertently ranked maids below ..protitutes and "some woman" and i wish you the best of luck with that

[nushk]

then try asking a sensible question. Assuming that it was consensual then what difference does it make whether a scumbag sleeps with a maid, a CEO of a company or anyone else?

what about the fact that the maid lives with the family? the maid takes care of the children? should anything go sour, would the maid not be in a position that even the husband would not want her to be in? would the maid not later perhaps blackmail the husband? etc etc.

I think my questions are quite sensible. thanks.

[nushk]

Can anybody else hear the creeking of the thin ice nushk is on ...or is it just me

please, with all sincerity, please let me know if I have done anything against the rules (or norms) here by posting what I did. is it a taboo topic? have I said anything wrong? let me know.

I'm not a troll. I just want some answers.

As topics like yours generally release a torrent of comments on all kinds of related issues ( and some non related as well) i was merely identifyig the precarious nature of your question (s)

Personally i dont see any issues with your post but it's not for me to say. thats what moderators are for.

You've inadvertently ranked maids below ..protitutes and "some woman" and i wish you the best of luck with that

I find many threads here go off topic anyway, and releasing a 'torrent of comments' is not a bad thing is it? I'm not trying to stir up a storm here. I am just curious with the ways of some expats.

if you do not see any issues with my post, then why did you say "Can anybody else hear the creeking of the thin ice nushk is on ...or is it just me"?

and, I'm really sorry but I do not see how I've ranked maids below prostitutes and "some woman". I really really don't. please explain. I have no issue at all with a maid having a relationship with, having an affair with, or just sleeping with a caucasian expat man. I just do have an issue when the maid sleeps with the man who has hired her, and that they are all living under one roof with the man's wife and children.

[nushk]

what about swapping maids with your mates? that way, both 1) and 2) are in the bag, and the situation might be easier to defuse should something go wrong down the road, and perhaps less humiliation for the wife.


tongue-in-cheek too.

Are you for real?

You would be surprised at the things women who go on home leave get up to in their locals when the poor husband is try to make a living and keep from getting retrenched due to the economy and keep her in the custom that she would like to be kept. Wives can be so High Maintenance and often, because they do not work over here and generally think that they are tai-tais, they become naggers, whingers & complainers. Then they demand to go home and shop, shop, shop. Meanwhile, the poor husband has to put up with a stream of abuse and probably doing without as well as the spouse no longer "feels" like it.

So, which would be better?

1) Let the maid continue with cleaning up the mess the spouse leaves in her wake. At least, with the maid not allowed a boyfriend she's probably clean. And she is already being paid to service the family (just a little more service ) She'll appreciate the overtime probably. She, like the husband has been doing without as well.

OR, 2) He can go to Geylang and take his chances of catching something or getting rolled while the maid sneaks out to find a boyfriend and gets knocked up, thereby depriving the family of their deposit as well.

[nushk]

Scums are scums, I dont think hiring a prostitute will be any better, if that was the case, then arguably, the scum could pay the maid a sum of money for compensation to curb his sexual tensions / needs.

And, maybe,just maybe, the wife knows about it, And "might" understand his sexual urges and desires, and would rather her husband do it with the maid, if consent was granted, rather than to fool around outside and risk diseases, affairs, and the unknown

not that I would ever tolerate that, but fair enough, ok.

[Vaucluse]

Personally i dont see any issues with your post but it's not for me to say. thats what moderators are for.

And they do their job ever so diligently . . .

But no, I agree with you. Though this is clearly a wind-up the topic shouldn't be taboo.

[Saint]

Personally i dont see any issues with your post but it's not for me to say. thats what moderators are for.

And they do their job ever so diligently . . .

But no, I agree with you. Though this is clearly a wind-up the topic shouldn't be taboo.

It's sounds like one of those, I have a friend...... I want to find out for a friend........ kind of questions

[sundaymorningstaple]

And, maybe,just maybe, the wife knows about it, And "might" understand his sexual urges and desires, and would rather her husband do it with the maid, if consent was granted, rather than to fool around outside and risk diseases, affairs, and the unknown

Which is, ironically, almost the same thing that I said!

[carteki]

then try asking a sensible question. Assuming that it was consensual then what difference does it make whether a scumbag sleeps with a maid, a CEO of a company or anyone else?

In how many cases is this "consensual"? If the man makes the advances he is the employer and has the power to "fire" her if she doesn't do what he wants. In the corporate world that would be called sexual harrassment, in the home it would be slavery.

Okay, it can come from the other side - he might sucumb to her advances. In that case she is playing a dangerous game and the odds of her getting rid of the wife are minimal.