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Please tell me if I am wrong

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Girl_Next_Door
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Postby Girl_Next_Door » Tue, 09 Jun 2009 5:39 pm

Just saw this posting... I have one big question in my mind. Why did you start dating him in the first place?

A few smaller questions... you mentioned that you moved back home, so am I right to guess that you are a Singaporean? Did you start dating him because he was charming and sweet, or because he is an expat who is good looking and earns good money (and you can move out of your home to stay with him)?

I believe that there is always a reason why a person will stay on in an obviously bad relationship, and very often, it's for superficial/materialistic reasons, or the other party threaten to kill him/herself.

In your situation, its obvious that your bf is not going to kill himself over you. So the bigger question will be, what took you so long to reach to this decision? Is it because he is able to provide you with a certain lifestyle? Is it because you still love him a lot (but from your post, it doesn't seems so since you didnt mention his virtues, or your feelings for him. Merely focusing on how bad he is treating you).

There is always 3 sides to a story. Your side, his side, and the truth...

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sundaymorningstaple
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Postby sundaymorningstaple » Tue, 09 Jun 2009 5:53 pm

Girl_Next_Door,

It might be a good idea, before you go off half-cocked, to actually read the OP's original post as well. You would then realize that she was dating a Singaporean man and not an expat. Then you wouldn't look quite as foolish as you look at the moment in your trying to put her down.

It this case there are 4 sides to the story, the forth being the one you seem to be trying to fabricate. :roll:

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Postby Girl_Next_Door » Tue, 09 Jun 2009 6:49 pm

Sorry, I must be blind! I read vincher82's posting within this post 3 times, but I still didn't see the part where she say her bf is a Singaporean?

Would SMS kindly point to me which one is it? Or do you mean her other posts in the forum? I didn't go through all her posting... just those she posted here.

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Postby sundaymorningstaple » Tue, 09 Jun 2009 10:55 pm

In all the years I've been here I don't ever remember seeing or hearing of immigration/MOM issuing a Employment Pass that allowed the EP holder to have his brother living with him as well (without out a wife or other family). Therefore one could almost surmise that it would have to be a local. Especially as the guy apparently won't peel his own prawns either! :P

From OP's first post:
I clean up the whole house (vacuum and mop), I iron all his shirts and pants. I washed all the laundry in cluding his brother's and I hanged and fold the clothings.
(FYI, no one do it when I don't do and he will scold me when I don't do the housse chores)


They say lateral thinking is lacking here as well........ :-|

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vincher82
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Postby vincher82 » Wed, 10 Jun 2009 12:30 pm

sundaymorningstaple wrote:That's Young! (half my age!) and congratulations. You have your freedom again. This time slowly, slowly. Hope your life looks brighter now. Probably feels like a tonne has been lifted from your mind.

You'll probably have twinges of regret but ignore them as you will only hurt yourself in the end. Join in some group activities at first as there is safety in numbers.


Thank you very much fr your encouragement sundaymorningstaple
Appreciated... \:D/
Thank God I am born a woman....
If not I would have nothing to play when I am a kid....

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Postby Girl_Next_Door » Wed, 10 Jun 2009 1:40 pm

sundaymorningstaple wrote:In all the years I've been here I don't ever remember seeing or hearing of immigration/MOM issuing a Employment Pass that allowed the EP holder to have his brother living with him as well (without out a wife or other family). Therefore one could almost surmise that it would have to be a local. Especially as the guy apparently won't peel his own prawns either! :P

From OP's first post:
I clean up the whole house (vacuum and mop), I iron all his shirts and pants. I washed all the laundry in cluding his brother's and I hanged and fold the clothings.
(FYI, no one do it when I don't do and he will scold me when I don't do the housse chores)


They say lateral thinking is lacking here as well........ :-|


Pardon my ignorance but I didn't know we are supposed to read between the lines in the forum (thought that only applies in relationships! :lol: )

Plus, we are on an expat forum, so my lateral thinking tell me that it is plausible for two brothers to be living together, either
a) the brother could be visiting (I mean, siblings do visit one another right?)
b) the brother is also working in Singapore (2 brothers working in a foreign country, staying together...? I must have missed the news when that became illegal and inappropriate!)

For the prawn peeling part... I actually know a lot of expats who don't know how to peel a prawn (male and female)... I also know an American who expects his gf to fetch his house slippers when he come home. But that will be a separate topic...

Guess I am living in a very different world...

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Postby sundaymorningstaple » Wed, 10 Jun 2009 3:30 pm

Girl_Next_Door wrote:
Guess I am living in a very different world...


Nah, you're just clutching at straws that all. :wink:

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joliefemme536
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Postby joliefemme536 » Thu, 11 Jun 2009 7:18 am

Wow... sounds like he turned you into his personal little slave/rag doll. Please get out of that abusive relationship ASAP! He can tell you that he's "fantastic" all day every day but if you don't believe it then why stick around... I see no positives in you remaining with him.

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Postby ksl » Thu, 11 Jun 2009 12:15 pm

sundaymorningstaple wrote:
Girl_Next_Door wrote:
Guess I am living in a very different world...


Nah, you're just clutching at straws that all. :wink:


Actually girl next door may well have the same problems, and is actually living with an expat :???: :) The last bit with the slippers, made me think she could be the one getting the slippers :shock: Although I would think its better to do it for money rather than love!

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Postby Girl_Next_Door » Thu, 11 Jun 2009 1:29 pm

ksl wrote:
Actually girl next door may well have the same problems, and is actually living with an expat :???: :) The last bit with the slippers, made me think she could be the one getting the slippers :shock: Although I would think its better to do it for money rather than love!


Sorry to disappoint you guys, I am actually staying alone, and I don't even have a bf! I will probably throw the slippers at him if he expect me to fetch them! :lol:

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Postby vincher82 » Fri, 12 Jun 2009 12:48 pm

Girl_Next_Door wrote:Just saw this posting... I have one big question in my mind. Why did you start dating him in the first place?

A few smaller questions... you mentioned that you moved back home, so am I right to guess that you are a Singaporean? Did you start dating him because he was charming and sweet, or because he is an expat who is good looking and earns good money (and you can move out of your home to stay with him)?

I believe that there is always a reason why a person will stay on in an obviously bad relationship, and very often, it's for superficial/materialistic reasons, or the other party threaten to kill him/herself.

In your situation, its obvious that your bf is not going to kill himself over you. So the bigger question will be, what took you so long to reach to this decision? Is it because he is able to provide you with a certain lifestyle? Is it because you still love him a lot (but from your post, it doesn't seems so since you didnt mention his virtues, or your feelings for him. Merely focusing on how bad he is treating you).

There is always 3 sides to a story. Your side, his side, and the truth...



Girl_Next_Door, It's a Singaporean, by the way, its up to you to think whatever the case is. I'm over with him and I am happy now. If it is over money?? Wahahahahaa!!! I bring him to restaurants, I paid for his solar film.. I paid alot more things though...
It's just silly love.. that's all. :cool:

Thanks you SMS for speaking up for me (although its the truth). :oops:
Thank God I am born a woman....

If not I would have nothing to play when I am a kid....

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Postby Girl_Next_Door » Fri, 12 Jun 2009 2:06 pm

patsy_sg wrote:vincher, just dump him if he's making you so miserable you come to a forum of strangers to ask for advice!

also, your posts does smack of damsel in distress handsome knight please rescue me... sorry if it offends but that was the first thing that came into my mind when I read your post!


Well, I am on the same side as Patsy_sg. The first thing that came to my mind when I read your post is a damsel in distress looking for help. Plus, you are posting this on an expat forum, so bite me if I didn't realize immediately that both you and your bf are from Singapore.

Its pretty obvious that the guy is a complete asshole, hence, it just appear to me that you might be posting in an expat forum, in hope of an expat to save you?

I am sorry if this is offensive to anyone but I am assuming that I have the freedom to voice my opinion in an open forum.

There seems to be so many "oh, I am so cute and sweet and don't deserve to be treated badly... someone please save me" kinda singapore girls out there. And I can't help but noticed that a lot of guys are jumping on their defense, because they are helpless (despite the fact that the issue is obvious and the solution is logical).

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Re: Please tell me if I am wrong

Postby blue_thunder » Fri, 12 Jun 2009 4:41 pm

vincher82 wrote:Hi all, I have a boy friend for 2 years plus and I am so freaking unhappy with him.

He always say I can never find anyone better than him if I leave him. He told me that he is the best....

Let me tell you how he treated me:

He doesn't allow me to go out, even going out with my girl friends for dinner or drinks also cannot, so don't talk about club and KTV.

I am that type of person that I love dancing and singing and movies!!
I use to watch lots of movies last time before I was with him.
But after when I was with him, I seldom watch movies... I would say maybe 2-3 times a year only. Boring? Tell me about that.
Because he doesn't watch horror movies, comedy,adventurous movies, love movies and not all action movies.
He ony watch some marvel movies and super duper good action movies only. So as you know, how many times a SUPER DUPER good movie come out?

I love to sing(KTV) and he doesn't, I love to dance and he doesn't.
So he doesn't allow me to go to this kinda places. So I often work work work and head home and what do I for my off days?
I clean up the whole house (vacuum and mop), I iron all his shirts and pants. I washed all the laundry in cluding his brother's and I hanged and fold the clothings.
(FYI, no one do it when I don't do and he will scold me when I don't do the housse chores)

I love seafood like Prawns, Squid..... And he doesn't eat seafood at all. So having meals with him, I can never order seafood.
He also do not eat any food with bones.... fish with bones? Chicken wings? Seafood? Brocolli and other's vegetables? ITS A NO NO TO HIM. So I can't eat as well..

My life? work and home. He is always very busy at work and kinda work 24/7. He doesn't have time for me at all and thus I always stay at home and watch TV myself..

Sometimes he told me he need to go down to sites and left home at night time 10 plus and came back in the middle of the night.
I tried calling him at 11plus but he took a very long time to pick up and after which tell me he is not convenient to talk and wants me to hang up.

When I got bullied by my colleague and my colleague lay her fingers on me, I was so angry and I went back to complain to my boy friend, I just need a shoulder to lean on, he's my boy friend isn't it?
But guess what, he say he stays nutrel and he doesn't give a shit to what happened to me.

Other than sending me to work and fetching me from work. Nothing else.... I told him about his attitude but he say there is no issue and insist he is right and that he is the best boy friend.

I am really FREAKING SICK AND TIRED OG THIS KINDA LIFESTYLE!!!!!

So tell me people, is he really that fantastic??? Tell me whether am I thinking too much or that he is really not that good aferall.


Well, I am not trying to aggravate your problems.
How did you get into a relationship with him when you know that he is totally opposite to you ???


Cheers..
~ I don't want to be a product of my environment, I want my environment to be a product of me

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sundaymorningstaple
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Postby sundaymorningstaple » Fri, 12 Jun 2009 5:44 pm

Ask anybody who's been married several times how the woman they were married to wasn't the woman they married! :oops!: :shit:

I reckon it's probably the same the other way around as well!

You must still be single. :P

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vbelle
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Postby vbelle » Fri, 12 Jun 2009 5:47 pm

cause somewhere in the beginning..all she saw was his good quality...and there is this thing called opposite attraction...lol

i have seen, or heard.. a lot of crazy relationships...so i know...these things does happen..people who get into unhealthy relationship..are in higher number than you think..(or perhaps is just people around me..)

never judge a book by its cover


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