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Divorce support groups in Singapore??

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simplegirl8181
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Postby simplegirl8181 » Fri, 12 Aug 2011 5:09 pm

Hi all,

I am newbie to this forum. I signed up becos I wanna share my story with u.

I am currently in amist of filing my divorce which was drag for more than 5years. Can i know how long will I need to wait till I get the 1st stage of interim judgement?? I understand that i need to get the interim judgement, wait for 3months before i get the final judgement... issit true?

Please advise.. thank you so much!
A easy contented and simple girl..

arrontan74
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Postby arrontan74 » Thu, 25 Aug 2011 1:30 pm

Wow, looks that there are many of us out there.

My ex-wife filed for divorce after 16yrs of marriage, when she met someone at work. It was only after the divorce, did i learn that she was having an affair with a colleague. That literally knocked the wind out of me. Felt as if I couldnt breath.

The divorce finalized about 2 yrs ago. Shortly after, she regretted, wanted to get together again. Looking back I'm glad I didnt agree. She had one hell of a temper.

At times, i can still feel the anger and resentment within. Finances are tough, giving her $1k every month for our daughter. She demanded I pay for her car too :shock:

I have since rediscovered PS3, new devotion to work, and mediation. Life is ok. I'm sure things will be ok for you guys & gals out there too.

simplegirl8181
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Postby simplegirl8181 » Thu, 25 Aug 2011 2:14 pm

arrontan74 wrote:Wow, looks that there are many of us out there.

My ex-wife filed for divorce after 16yrs of marriage, when she met someone at work. It was only after the divorce, did i learn that she was having an affair with a colleague. That literally knocked the wind out of me. Felt as if I couldnt breath.

The divorce finalized about 2 yrs ago. Shortly after, she regretted, wanted to get together again. Looking back I'm glad I didnt agree. She had one hell of a temper.

At times, i can still feel the anger and resentment within. Finances are tough, giving her $1k every month for our daughter. She demanded I pay for her car too :shock:

I have since rediscovered PS3, new devotion to work, and mediation. Life is ok. I'm sure things will be ok for you guys & gals out there too.



Hi, mind if i consult u a few questions about the process? is urs a uncontested divorce? How long from the date u file till u all get the judgement?

Actually i started to apply mine early jul, altot its been only a mere mth, i am keen to find out the duration.. Now its after 8days since the writ is served and the next step is to file to court for uncontested divorce...so how long i need to wait for an appt from court to grand me a interim judgement?
A easy contented and simple girl..

arrontan74
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Postby arrontan74 » Thu, 25 Aug 2011 4:12 pm

Can't really advise you on that one. The D -word came as a bomb.

There was a serious lack of itmancy in our relationship. I tried to do everything I could, read Man from Mars Women from Venus and stuff, learn that 'love making' starts from the moment we open our eyes in the morning, showering love and concern etc. Nothing worked. Other than that, all seemed normal in our marriage. We were getting ready for bed when she suddenly said she wanted a divorce.

When she wanted a divorced, i tried my best to talk her out of it. I offered for us to stay under the same roof, lead seperate lives, for the sake of our daughter. She refused adamently.

When I realised she was having an affair, I asked her to consider throughly. Looking back, it seems such a joke that I had to wait for her to decided between her lover and husband. What a sorry excuse of a man I was...

When I realise that there was no saving of the marriage. I told her I will not file. If she wanted too, I would not even contest. Do whatever she want.

Next thing I know, her lawyer called. I was made out to be the worst husband a woman can ever marry.

A silver linning came when either her lover or her, somehow, mistakenly send an email containing all their exchanges to me. :)

After reading the mails, I told her she was being played. Well she was in love and blinded.

With those mails I told her shes getting $1 a month for alimony. (I was underthe impression that alimony is a must regardless of grounds of divorce)

Next thing I knew, I recieved a letter from the Court. In it, it read that a judgement has been made, and I had 2 weeks to make my case, should I disagree.

Now I am paying $600 child support @ $400 for all the extra stuff my daughter wants to learn (with reciepts of course).

Her $1/month? Think I've paid $2 so far. Whenever she tries to create trouble again, I'll gently remind her, this was what she wanted and the evidences I have against her. :D

simplegirl8181
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Postby simplegirl8181 » Thu, 25 Aug 2011 4:38 pm

arrontan74 wrote:Can't really advise you on that one. The D -word came as a bomb.

There was a serious lack of itmancy in our relationship. I tried to do everything I could, read Man from Mars Women from Venus and stuff, learn that 'love making' starts from the moment we open our eyes in the morning, showering love and concern etc. Nothing worked. Other than that, all seemed normal in our marriage. We were getting ready for bed when she suddenly said she wanted a divorce.

When she wanted a divorced, i tried my best to talk her out of it. I offered for us to stay under the same roof, lead seperate lives, for the sake of our daughter. She refused adamently.

When I realised she was having an affair, I asked her to consider throughly. Looking back, it seems such a joke that I had to wait for her to decided between her lover and husband. What a sorry excuse of a man I was...

When I realise that there was no saving of the marriage. I told her I will not file. If she wanted too, I would not even contest. Do whatever she want.

Next thing I know, her lawyer called. I was made out to be the worst husband a woman can ever marry.

A silver linning came when either her lover or her, somehow, mistakenly send an email containing all their exchanges to me. :)

After reading the mails, I told her she was being played. Well she was in love and blinded.

With those mails I told her shes getting $1 a month for alimony. (I was underthe impression that alimony is a must regardless of grounds of divorce)

Next thing I knew, I recieved a letter from the Court. In it, it read that a judgement has been made, and I had 2 weeks to make my case, should I disagree.

Now I am paying $600 child support @ $400 for all the extra stuff my daughter wants to learn (with reciepts of course).

Her $1/month? Think I've paid $2 so far. Whenever she tries to create trouble again, I'll gently remind her, this was what she wanted and the evidences I have against her. :D



Ic.. i am so sorri about it.. I din mean to bring up past memories of urs. Please move on with ur new life.. U deserved to lead a happier life.

For me, here goes my stories..

I was once happily married, but for a short period.. i gave birth to two kids.. I tink we were too young since then.. he has no commitment to this family, every month i hv to save and paid for everything... from power supply bills, to household expenses..and i earn a mere income of $1,400. Life was very very tough for me...until i cannot tahan i moved back to my mum's house. Guess wat?? he throw all the funitures away, rented out the whole of our 5-rm unit for a few k.. and to add to the stress, he disappear and all the rental $$ goes to his pocket. Not at all he fork up a $1 for my expense.

Life goes on for me.. every mth school fees alone for my kids is close to $300.. exclude my mum's allowance. Time flies and till now, its been more than 5years.

One year ago, he came to my mum house, bought the kids for chinese new year visit.. we did not stop him.. Guess wat?? The kids came back empty handed, when asked, they told me tat "papa took all the ang pows..got many ang pows"

Finally last month I decided to put everything to a stop. I filed for divorce since everything was under my control. In the request, I asked for "FULL CUSTODY" for my two kids with no excess for him unless seek for permission from me.

I am really tired of all these... I really dun understand why i must bear such huge responsiblity.....
A easy contented and simple girl..

arrontan74
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Postby arrontan74 » Fri, 26 Aug 2011 12:14 pm

Wow. Things are tough. You are tougher. You have surmounted the past and continue to manage the situation with limited resources. Things can only get better, as the children grow.

I suspect your ex has a gambling problem. Personally, I feel that you have done good by getting out of his continual downward spiral.

Difficult as it may be, focus on things and people (the children) who brings joy.

I got through the worst patch then, by waking up every morning, looking in the mirror and being thankful for other things, for example, my Dad for being in good health, my daughter being a smart kid, for the great environment at work.

simplegirl8181
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Postby simplegirl8181 » Fri, 26 Aug 2011 12:20 pm

arrontan74 wrote:Wow. Things are tough. You are tougher. You have surmounted the past and continue to manage the situation with limited resources. Things can only get better, as the children grow.

I suspect your ex has a gambling problem. Personally, I feel that you have done good by getting out of his continual downward spiral.

Difficult as it may be, focus on things and people (the children) who brings joy.

I got through the worst patch then, by waking up every morning, looking in the mirror and being thankful for other things, for example, my Dad for being in good health, my daughter being a smart kid, for the great environment at work.



True.. so now ur case consider its over? Who got the custody of the kid? U leading ur own life now?
A easy contented and simple girl..

arrontan74
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Postby arrontan74 » Sat, 27 Aug 2011 1:22 pm

I think it'll never be truely over, since we are still connected by our daughter. We both have custody, but she has the day to day care. I see my daughter once Or twice a week.

I haven't spoken to her for the longest time since I chose silence and non response to her unreasonable demands.

Charles84
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Postby Charles84 » Mon, 19 Sep 2011 2:21 pm

simplegirl8181 wrote:
arrontan74 wrote:Wow. Things are tough. You are tougher. You have surmounted the past and continue to manage the situation with limited resources. Things can only get better, as the children grow.

I suspect your ex has a gambling problem. Personally, I feel that you have done good by getting out of his continual downward spiral.

Difficult as it may be, focus on things and people (the children) who brings joy.

I got through the worst patch then, by waking up every morning, looking in the mirror and being thankful for other things, for example, my Dad for being in good health, my daughter being a smart kid, for the great environment at work.



True.. so now ur case consider its over? Who got the custody of the kid? U leading ur own life now?


Hi Simplegirl, im going thru divorce too. can share more with u. pm or text me.

emmerald
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i am looking for a support group for divorce

Postby emmerald » Tue, 27 Dec 2011 9:56 am

Please kindly advise if there are any support group for people going through divorce. I would like very much like to meet up. Thank you

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farlene
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late reply

Postby farlene » Wed, 28 Dec 2011 10:35 am

hi, i don't know if u got a reply or if i'm too late but at least this can help someone else.
an uncontested div will take abt 5 months (up to final judgment stage) this also includes any ancillary matters that you may hv assuming that issues hv been agreed with i.e custody, maintenance, matrimonial assets.
contested matters will of course take a longer time to settle as u will hv to attend court etc etc.
i suggest u see a laywer if u require further advise tho.





simplegirl8181 wrote:Hi all,

I am newbie to this forum. I signed up becos I wanna share my story with u.

I am currently in amist of filing my divorce which was drag for more than 5years. Can i know how long will I need to wait till I get the 1st stage of interim judgement?? I understand that i need to get the interim judgement, wait for 3months before i get the final judgement... issit true?

Please advise.. thank you so much!

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farlene
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support groups

Postby farlene » Wed, 28 Dec 2011 10:40 am

hello all,

there are support groups out there it's just a matter of finding out who they are. have u checked with MCYS? if they don't interest you, you can always set up your own informal support group. they r enough of us divorced single parents going round to support each other.

arrontan74
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Postby arrontan74 » Wed, 28 Dec 2011 1:18 pm

Hi Kayleen,

It appears that I am unable to reply to your PM as I have not posted enough in the forum :D.

Not sure if I got it right.

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sundaymorningstaple
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Postby sundaymorningstaple » Wed, 28 Dec 2011 3:06 pm

You can now.

arrontan74
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Postby arrontan74 » Wed, 28 Dec 2011 3:33 pm

:) Thanks moderator sundaymorningstaple


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