Discuss about the latest news & interesting topics, real life experience or other out of topic discussions with locals & expatriates in Singapore.
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Lo1s
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by Lo1s » Sat, 25 Jul 2009 10:18 am
chloejnr wrote:Hi there,
I am Singaporean but lived in Britain for a number of years. We were separated during this period and I am back in this place to settle the legalities of the divorce.
I am trying to be as amicable as possible with the soon to be ex husband while I am trying to make my way back to Britain to pick up my life where I left it off.
We are both now seeing other people and another day in Singapore is just a painful reminder of all the legal battles I have to go through!
Any support would be great!
is life good in britain? heard it is really cold there and you dont see the sun for more than two months a year..seems to me quite drab kind of weather...
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Lo1s
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by Lo1s » Sat, 25 Jul 2009 10:25 am
veggie72 wrote:Hi there,
I am in the same boat as your are but probably with a diference in the nationalities and roles played. I am a local Singaporean who was married for 6 years to an European lady. Now she has divorced me and and I still dont get a clear picture as to the reasons of why she divorced me. I feel so shattered and lost. The separation has been way too painful, sometimes words dont describe the despondency and melancoly I experience.
It would be nice to talk to someone who is in the same shoes - I guess it goes some way to healing the internal wounds. I have been looking to see if there are any support groups for divorcees but am yet to come across any.
yr situation rings a bell with many of my colleagues here. no rhyme or reason given and you hv to pay hefty money to her. sometimes, i tend to think it was all a hoax in the first place to dig yr money however much or little it may be.
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Lo1s
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by Lo1s » Sat, 25 Jul 2009 10:46 am
Xnewyorker wrote:Hi- I am also going through a divorce in Singapore...we have been separated for a year and my wife has now started seeing someone else. I have not looked into the nitty gritty of the legal process but now feel I have to- for my own sanity....we have 2 children...they've held up well for this first year...but it looks like the gloves are coming off for me and my wife...so I am a bit apprehensive...
I am an American , my wife Singaporean..I don't feel like the system is favourable to men..but we have agreed on joint-custody...financial wise though my wife makes 5 times more than me...and it's tough to feel like I will be able to "move on" as she has...
would love to chat with any similar cases:-}
you r a poor american man
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jenniferkoh
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by jenniferkoh » Fri, 31 Jul 2009 2:42 pm
hi all, i am sorry to hear to what have happened. i might not have gone through a divorce but i just got out of a verbally, mentally and emotionally abusive relationship.
it was horrifically painful and heartbreaking while it lasted and when it ended. however, things have been looking up for me ever since i seeked hypnotherapy. i am slowly dealing with letting go, forgiving myself for putting myself through the years of abuse from the man i used to love dearly.
if you do wish to seek alternative therapy like me, you could try visiting
www.pathlightcentre.com
i hope you find your emotional peace soon as well.
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rp_sgp
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by rp_sgp » Sun, 30 Aug 2009 5:27 pm
Hi, i am going through a divorce since 2007 till now.....towards the tail end "the anxillary part ..... Please let me assure you that the system and women charter did not do squad for my case but the bias . Been the sole breadwinner since my eldest son was born (18 years now....) and suffers the mental abuse etc. During the last court heart hearing i lost my three sons, lost my CPF and my parents inheritance and have to pay child support and on top of all, i have to face a bank bankruptcy sue resulting from the expenses incurred by HIM. I am also jobless because of his constant harrastment and nuisace calls to my staffs and business associates. SO, WHERE IS FAIRNESS AND JUSTICE ??????!!!!!!
Xnewyorker wrote:Hi- I am also going through a divorce in Singapore...we have been separated for a year and my wife has now started seeing someone else. I have not looked into the nitty gritty of the legal process but now feel I have to- for my own sanity....we have 2 children...they've held up well for this first year...but it looks like the gloves are coming off for me and my wife...so I am a bit apprehensive...
I am an American , my wife Singaporean..I don't feel like the system is favourable to men..but we have agreed on joint-custody...financial wise though my wife makes 5 times more than me...and it's tough to feel like I will be able to "move on" as she has...
would love to chat with any similar cases:-}
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macaroonie
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by macaroonie » Mon, 31 Aug 2009 4:26 pm
Gosh i haven't been through a divorce but i just want to send my support to all of you out there who are going through it. It seems like a really rough road to travel but i guess life is not fair, it's just life. Sending my best regards and hope that you all find peace and happiness in your lives!
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expidite
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by expidite » Tue, 01 Sep 2009 12:08 am
hi Guys,
Well,were all on the same boat..
We need to sit and gather one of these days and share experiences..
Do PM me please..
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touchbyangel512
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by touchbyangel512 » Thu, 10 Sep 2009 11:55 am
HEY PPLS,
it not the end of the roads yet, look there is a corner at the very end of the road, i just married 2 yrs ago and had my custom wedding in Taiwan, as born breed in Singapore, wife Taiwanese, i have gone through up and down terrible life, not been trusted by my wife, and my wife till today believe i will have 2 wife base on fortune telling there you guys out there NEVER go and hear all this nonsense fortune telling issue and i am JOBLESS at 1230 plus i going to work as production operators even thou i had good paper qualify in Civil & Environmental. Tell ya guys out there, if you want to form a supportive groups by ALL means please get together, who knows something might work out and get your LIFE working again.
PM me or email
[email protected]
Cheers

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2nd Chance
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by 2nd Chance » Mon, 05 Oct 2009 11:24 am
Hello,I am going through a really difficult patch in my marriage which i believe is only a matter of time b4 it ends.We hardly speak at all n we r living separate lives.I am very keen to move on n i would like to make new friends n hopefully,be independent again.
if u would like to correspond with me.Tks,J.
Last edited by
2nd Chance on Thu, 05 Nov 2009 7:53 am, edited 1 time in total.
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2nd Chance
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by 2nd Chance » Tue, 06 Oct 2009 7:39 am
Hi ,
Just wanted to express my thanks to all who have replied to my post.
I feel better because of ur replies n will do my best to make the most out of this sad situation of mine.An online separated or divorce group 4 people would really help many as so many of us seems to be in the same boat.How do we find one or start one?Till then, do continue sending me ur correspondence if u have something to share with a fellow survivor on how to cope with the sudden free time on one's hand,pls feel free to reply with ur views.I think my partner might be going through a mid-life crisis n if u've any views on that too,pls. response.Thanks,
J.
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2nd Chance on Thu, 05 Nov 2009 7:54 am, edited 1 time in total.
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ozchick
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by ozchick » Tue, 06 Oct 2009 5:26 pm
It's awful to read about what so many many people are going through. Many of us have been in the 'divorce boat' and it can be a very demoralising experience, emotionally, financially and sometimes physically when one's health suffers from the resulting fall-out.
A few words of advice. Don't pine for someone who has hurt you.
Don't expect that given a second chance they might change.
They usually don't.
Keep busy, do regular exercise, don't be alone too often. Be the one who initiates social gatherings to increase your personal network of friends.
I also wish you all the best and hope that time will show that the world is not such a bad place.
'Are you trying to tempt me because I come from the land of plenty?'
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2nd Chance
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by 2nd Chance » Thu, 08 Oct 2009 8:57 am
Hi people,
do visit the following link...came across it while surfing online 4 divorce support!
http://www../cgi-bin/ ... st=2944510
lots of divorce n separation topics right here in singapore.
Hope u'll find the info there useful.
J.
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2nd Chance on Thu, 05 Nov 2009 7:55 am, edited 1 time in total.
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2nd Chance
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by 2nd Chance » Sat, 10 Oct 2009 9:56 am
Curently reading "How to survive ur Husband's Midlife Crisis" by Gay Courter & Pat Gaudette." Very informative book.
Do check out this website 4 support.
www.midlifewivesclub.com
Really useful site.
Tks n cheers everyone.
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multi-nation
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by multi-nation » Sun, 01 Nov 2009 5:23 pm
Am hoping people are getting together as could use support. I was informed 4 weeks ago by my fiance that he no longer wanted to marry me after 10 years together. I moved to Australia from US to be with him and he sprung this on me a week after a great vacation and 1 week before I was to move to Tokyo where we were to be living.
He apparently said he was no longer 'Excited' about marrying me. We broke up once before due to the 'nightlife' of Tokyo....I always seemed to come second to it which wasnot good enough for me. A year after being apart, he asked me to move to Australia saying he had made the worst mistake of his life. I went and never regretted. After 2 years he was sent back to Tokyo for work. My Japanese visa was denied as we are not married yet which made his excuse easier and he has begun spending lots of time with people who caused us to break up in the first place.
I am absolutely devestated; he did it over the phone in 10 minutes, wth 90% of my possessions (clothes mostly) in Tokyo, after I sold my car, moved into a hotel and gave away all small electrical appliance....he left me with nothing! My best friend; he even got everything I bought for the house because I am homeless with nowhere to put it (not that he offered). He won't even talk to me...he just disappeared. No fight, no explanation, nothing.
Luckily I am an exec as well and was able to get out of Australia (too many happy memories) and am trying to figure out life for the next 3-6 months. Return to the US, Australia or stay in Sing. Am looking for others who may have advise or going through similar.
Wishing everyone well as I am still in my daily crying regime, praying each day I wake up is a bad dream and that my best friend will come back.
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lonerider
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by lonerider » Sun, 01 Nov 2009 9:34 pm
I'm a local guy... My divorce was recently finalised. No, there isn't any support groups, I looked. At least not for locals. There should... Hang on to family, friends and anyone who's willing to help you through the process. A year has went by, a few trips to a psychiatrist and prescribed anti-depressants... I think I've more or less moved on. Keep yourself occupied and some form of exercise helps. I think men cope with divorce differently as compared to the women folk. Men have a tendency to seek self destructive outlets and draw into themselves... Not healthy. Good luck all...
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