19 month old is difficult during feeding

[gonzales]

Hi All,

we usually spoon feed our boy in his high chair with Barney on the TV & this works well.

We are trying to teach him to feed himself & also break the TV during feeding habit, as it's not always possible when travelling or away from home for example.

When we try to feed him with the Tv off he just shakes his head from side to side to avoid the spoon of food or pushes it away. I don't think he is associating hunger pangs with food yet (not sure about this)

When we encourage him to take a snack in his hand he refuses it, it looks like he views the food as dirty & does'nt like to get it on his hands. He does seem to have a thing about certain textures in his hand that he does'nt like.

So basically I'm looking for advice from parents with sililar experience on :
1) how to break the TV habit & get him to associate hunger pangs with food.
how to get him to take a snack in hand & later to feed himself with plastic cutlery.

All advice from experienced parents much appreciated - thanks.

[pakjohn]

My kids are grown, and now I have a grandchild. I can relay to you what I relayed recently to my daughter.
Information should go one way with kids, they don't train us, we train them. It's not a democracy and their vote can be earned in a given situation but it's not a right. (That's the whole premise of my parenting) I never spanked my kids or raised my voice to them; they both turned out great and we have a wonderful relationship so I guess it worked.

My daughter was asking her daughter too many questions, "are you hungry", "are you tired", "are you full", "would you like to play", "do you want to go to bed"? etc. By doing so she was really putting her 2 year old daughter in a position of authority! I reminded her how she was raised, and that she must be the parent and not allow her daughter to share that role.

I would recommend you choose how you want dinner to operate and at what time, and repeat it day after day. On the 2nd or 3rd day you will see your child start to associate food with that time of day and what ever routine you implement. The key is to be consistent and be firm, (but not angry). Your child will be a terror during this time, but you will get results if you are patient, loving and most of all, consistent. The child may cry and appear dramatic, but it won't hurt him/her.

Also recommend you drastically limit tv time, you already realize how indulgent the junk they show kids on tv can be. Kids develop fastest at ages 2 to 6, or so they say. Fill their day with opportunities to explore and discover in a 3 dimensional manner. Make every situation a learning opportunity, remember they are a blank page and have to be taught everything. (Important lessons will be learned, whether it comes from you, the tv or peers. Better if the lesson is learned from you.) Our children take cues from us even when we don't notice, so be a good model for their behaviour.

Good luck, you have one of the best jobs on earth!

[road.not.taken]

I think you might be on the road the spoiling this child mightily. Time to start taking control. Don't be afraid to stand your ground.

Hi All,

we usually spoon feed our boy in his high chair with Barney on the TV & this works well.

Time to stop the spoon feeding, he should start feeding himself small bits of your food cut-up and in a dish with a child sized spoon available. It's OK if he doesn't use it right away.

We are trying to teach him to feed himself & also break the TV during feeding habit, as it's not always possible when travelling or away from home for example.

Of course it is, you are in charge, not him. You are the parent. Turn off the TV. What happens? He cries? Oh well... Kids cry all the time. It's OK, he'll learn his boundaries sooner than you think.

When we try to feed him with the Tv off he just shakes his head from side to side to avoid the spoon of food or pushes it away. I don't think he is associating hunger pangs with food yet (not sure about this)

He's not hungry then. He'll eat when he is hungry.

When we encourage him to take a snack in his hand he refuses it, it looks like he views the food as dirty & does'nt like to get it on his hands. He does seem to have a thing about certain textures in his hand that he does'nt like.

That happens, but he'll figure it out. Let him feed himself with textures he does like and let him make a mess doing it.

So basically I'm looking for advice from parents with sililar experience on :
1) how to break the TV habit & get him to associate hunger pangs with food.

The habit is yours, not his. Just do it. And you can't teach someone to associate hunger pangs with hunger other than feeding him good food ON YOUR TERMS when he is hungry.

how to get him to take a snack in hand & later to feed himself with plastic cutlery.

All advice from experienced parents much appreciated - thanks.

He will find a snack and a texture he likes, but while you are trying to figure it out ~ limit his options as much as possible, for example: cut-up grapes or cheerios. That's it. This is a tough age, but stand your ground and you'll set yourselves up to avoid a lot of pitfalls down the road. Good luck!

[Thaiclan]

I agree with the other posters about the TV. Its quite simple - just turn it off. However you can replace TV with making the mealtimes exciting. Meal time doesn't have to begin with child being sat in their chair to receive food. Why not start it with your child helping to prepare food with you. Maybe get out some grapes/carrots/apple chunks whatever and ask your child to put them on a plate or in a bowl whilst you do the cutting and other prep. Get your child to mix something up or break something apart. This way the child knows that meal time will be beginning soon and will know he/she is expected to be eating his meal time soon. Once he has finished, encourage him to sit in his chair and pass up the items that need to be washed and he/she will also be excited to help clean up afterwards. If you can you could sit him next to the sink and let him "wash" his plastic bowl/plate/cup/cutlery.
This will make meal time a whole activity rather than a chore for both of you.
Oh and don't worry about his association with hunger pangs etc, kids WILL let you know when they are hungry, there has yet to be a case of toddler elective starvation!
Don't get hung up on eating from a spoon too much. Firstly it really is GREAT to squidge food between your fingers so let him have fun whilst he is still so young (it will be all too soon before he is far too old to do this). Kids learn by mimicking their loved adults, so when he sees you using a spoon or fork he will naturally want to also. Let it happen naturally rather than making it a MUST.
And, lucky you having a 20month old. That age is sooo precious and happy. Enjoy every moment!

[gonzales]

everybody,
thanks for the effort in posting up your advice & experiences, there is a lot of info to digest but i'm sure with it we'll be on the right path soon,
thanks again.