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Dating situation for caucasian European males in Singapore

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nushk
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Postby nushk » Thu, 11 Jun 2009 8:22 pm

QRM wrote:They will be replaced by brass diggers


LOL!

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Postby nushk » Thu, 11 Jun 2009 8:35 pm

pakjohn wrote:
agree in fact its the uber wealthy "old money" ones actually deliberately try and be as low key as possible.


I know Jim Rodgers moved here from the U.S.. He dresses pretty low key on TV, I wonder if that's marketing or is he a Sam Walton type?

He was pretty low key in the 70's, stayed away from anything resembling conspicuous consumption, I wonder if billions of dollars has changed him.

(sorry for an off topic post, but seems like the threads taking a breather.)


sorry to go off topic too, but I find jim rogers not at all low-key. dressing is one thing, but he sure loveeess the media!


to the OP, and some other people who posted here, if after his $9000 is taken by tax, it will be about the same as if he got a job here that pays S$4500. the taxes here aren't so bad, or at least not as bad as in scandinavia, america, etc..

carsten, maybe you do want to meet more asian girls first, AND seriously get to know them (or date them) before making this decision to fly all the way to singapore. I don't know how to put it, but singapore has all the trappings of a modern city but it isn't a progressive city in some ways. and just like the country, the women here are a very mixed bunch. you get gold diggers, brass diggers (ha ha!), of all nationalities, and even if you find the 'perfect' woman you have in mind, who knows? the relationship might not work out.

but, if you're single, not tied down to anybody, or financially strapped, willing to experience this brave new world, travel around asia, *and meet and date some asian girls, sure, why not? come on to singapore and maybe you'll find something more than just asian girls. good luck!

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Postby Artemias » Thu, 18 Jun 2009 2:21 am

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Last edited by Artemias on Tue, 19 Dec 2017 1:01 pm, edited 1 time in total.

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Postby meiteoh » Mon, 29 Jun 2009 5:02 pm

carsten_54 wrote:I am considering moving to Singapore because it's been a dream of mine to explore Asia and I find Asian women highly attractive. What are the odds of me finding a girlfriend if I move there? I am well educated, tall, have an athletic build and a nice and caring personality. Do Singaporean girls like Europeans? I am basically an atheist, is that a problem? In general, what do marriage-minded Singaporean women look for in a man? Is internet dating something you can recommend is it just a waste of time? If so, what's the best way to find a high quality Singaporean woman? A big thank you to anyone who contribute to this thread!


Carsten, I hope you don't mind what I'm about to say...and take it with a pinch of salt as with what the others have said already.

I'm one of those few Asian women who is married to the white man/angmoh - hubby is French, btw. Now, I can tell you for a fact that when he came to Singapore, he had no intention of marrying an Asian and I had no intention of dating, much or less date someone of a specific race/culture/identity.

It is interesting that you're willing to travel half the world just to date an Asian. The last time any of my or my hubby's friend did that, they ended up with a long list of complaints about how Singaporean girls were this or that (nothing positive, everything shallow & superficial and very close to the whole "sour grape" thing, mind you).

It's just that when you come with an expectation like that, you are a turn-off more than desirable. It speaks volumes about your personality and character AND most of all, what/why exactly you're after an Asian girl - fetishes and such revolving race may not sit very well in a long term relationship.

Also, what do you mean to "are Singaporean women like Europeans"? Urm, it depends on the girl in question. I'm Malaysian and contrary to what many may believe about Malaysian girls being "different", I was career-oriented before I got married, earning my own income, I hold a Masters, have travelled to different countries and so forth. Among my friends, I'm considered quite liberal - politically, socially, religiously, etc. Among my male friends, I'm considered too outspoken for my own good. :lol:

When I started dating my hubby - we met via a mutual friend (him in Singapore, me in Malaysia) over MSN (gasp!), chatted for a month before finally meeting up in KL - it caused quite a stir because people hadn't expect me to go out with an angmoh. My parents were quite surprised, my friends were shocked and I, as some of you may imagine, started getting all sorts of remarks.

Here are a few of the craziest questions I have been asked throughout the four years of dating and nearly two years of marriage:

1) So does he have a big d***?
2) Is he rich?
3) Are all angmohs like that? (previous statement can range from attitude/personality to things like work ethics, religion and etc)

Everywhere me and my hubby went, we got eyeballed. In Vietnam, the local police dropped by the hotel demanding to see my passport and the poor receptionist got drilled about why I didn't have a visa (being M'sian, I didn't need a visa), what I was doing with a white dude and etc. Then there is the assumption that I am:

1) A golddigger
2) A slut
3) Uneducated and uncultured (some people were shocked to find out that I hold a Masters from Australia and was working as a sub-editor and lecturer in KL).

My parents sometimes make the mistake of assuming that my hubby is lazy just because he's white, and that we are swimming in gold.

Then of course, there are the cultural obstacles to hop all over. Religion, IMHO, is not your only biggest obstacle in a mixed relationship. It's things like culture that can make or kill it.

For example, my parents love to meddle in our lives - we're expecting our first baby in less than a month and my mum had asked me to go back to work, ditch the baby with her in KL and be a weekend mother (it's because it's normal culturally in Malaysia/Singapore to do that) but in France, my in-laws when told of this went berserk.

Now that we're moving to Singapore, my parents have been going bonkers, telling us how to pack, what to pack, what not to bring and best of all, that they'll bring it and etc (in fact, I had the same problem with them when I was pregnant - I wasn't allowed to do anything even buy baby clothes and my mum bought disposable diapers in Malaysia and sent it all the way to Switzerland via sea mail - seriously, don't laugh).

When I casually informed them that they don't have to worry and that we know what we're doing, I was told by my dad to basically shut up because "in these matters, I (being my dad) know better" (never mind that he has never moved from one country to another).

Then of course there were the dramatic episodes in our wedding preparations (dowry/ping kam woes and such). My hubby had to adjust to a lot of things with regards to my culture - admittedly, it has been hard for the both of us.

So really, if you think that it's going to be as easy and simple as an Asian girl liking an European man, think again.

It would be better if you just come to Singapore with the intention of getting to know another culture, way of life and its people instead of having the goal of finding a girlfriend. That way, you keeps your options and your mind open to new possibilities and perspectives.

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Postby hibri2 » Mon, 29 Jun 2009 5:40 pm

meiteoh wrote:It is interesting that you're willing to travel half the world just to date an Asian.


from: http://stuffwhitepeoplelike.com

[quote]White men love asian women so much that they will go to extremes such as stating that Sandra Oh is sexy, teaching English in Asia, playing in a coed volleyball league, or attending institutions such as UBC or UCLA (please note that both schools’ colors of “blue”
"Do not pray in my school, and I will not think in your church." - Unknown.

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Postby meiteoh » Mon, 29 Jun 2009 6:10 pm

Oh, there is such a thing as "white fever" too and like I mentioned to Carsten, people have this ability to smell subtle intentions like that from a mile away and usually it's to stay away and not approach people like that any closer unless it's for some ulterior motive like money or a green-card equivalent (which ironically is also what people think I was after when I was dating my hubby). :???:

And thanks for the link. :)
Blogging [at] www.thescarfer.net

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Postby carsten_54 » Thu, 02 Jul 2009 3:02 am

Wow, I must say I am a little overwhelmed by the large number of responses this thread has received, but I realize it's a very controversial topic. It's now quite obvious to me that relocating to Singapore is an extremely bad idea so I will remain in Denmark. I would like to thank everybody who contributed to this thread and helped me make a wise decision.

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Postby mondaymorningquarterback » Thu, 02 Jul 2009 12:12 pm

jpatokal u kill me.

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Postby mondaymorningquarterback » Thu, 02 Jul 2009 12:15 pm

carsten_54 wrote:Wow, I must say I am a little overwhelmed by the large number of responses this thread has received, but I realize it's a very controversial topic. It's now quite obvious to me that relocating to Singapore is an extremely bad idea so I will remain in Denmark. I would like to thank everybody who contributed to this thread and helped me make a wise decision.


god idé

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Postby babykasim » Thu, 02 Jul 2009 12:28 pm

i'm really enjoying reading this thread :D

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Postby canely1983 » Sun, 05 Jul 2009 9:18 pm

hi. i am very interested in the postings.

would you mind to chat with me in msn? canely83@hotmail.com

cheers.

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Postby redscarf » Thu, 06 Aug 2009 5:28 pm

carsten_54, I am not sure if it is worthwhile for you to give up your job in Europe to settle down in Singapore. Have you date any Asian women before? You may find us attractive but reality may not be the same as what you've imagined it to be. Physical attraction is not the only thing that will keep the relationship alive. I've lived in Europe for awhile and I could tell you that Asian cultures and values are very different from Europe. What we may expect from a relationship can also be alittle different and it may not be something that you would expect. For instance, I would think that European girls may be more liberal and independent than us. And you may also place that kind expectations on us. Then perhaps, it wouldn't be very realistic.

I've some experiences with European guys and sometimes I just feel that they do not really understand me and know what I want. Due to cultural differences, we have different expectations of our partners. Thus, it is important for both parties to make some adjustments for this inter-cultural relationship to work out. In addition, many Singapore girls have the impression that many european guys are here only for flings and are not really interested in longterm relationships. So I guess, you would have to work on that.

Good luck! :)

Cheers,
A Singapore Girl
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Postby Leela » Thu, 06 Aug 2009 6:33 pm

babykasim wrote:i'm really enjoying reading this thread :D

You're not the only one, Babykasim... :D

All I have to say is that it is a lot easier for a Caucasian male to find an Asian girlfriend than for a Caucasian female to find an Asian boyfriend. I personally know many mixed couples living in Singapore (English male + Malaysian female, Slovakian male + Malaysian female, American male + Singaporean female, American male + Filipino female, Australian male + Chinese female, etc.). In every case the girl is highly educated and earning a good salary and every couple seems to get on well despite the obvious cultural differences. The sticking point tends to be deciding where they are going to live in the future if they stay together.

However, I do not know any couple where the female is Caucasian and the male Asian. Can anyone explain why this is so uncommon? (By the way, I'm married and not looking for a boyfriend, but I'm curious).

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Postby sundaymorningstaple » Thu, 06 Aug 2009 11:09 pm

I know at least three couple here in Singapore personally where the western girl is married to an Asian male. It's not all that uncommon anymore. This is especially so with more and more Asians Venturing overseas for educations and work and more and more single girls coming to Asia to work. Matter of fact my Asian BiL (Wife's brother) is married to a Redhaired, British Jew. It's really not all that uncommon. The biggest hangup seems to be the Western girls reluctance to go out with an Asian guy and I'm not too sure why that is frankly.

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hey

Postby bandung » Thu, 06 Aug 2009 11:17 pm

In general, what do marriage-minded Singaporean women look for in a man?



Well to this answer is just one word: MONEY!!! LOTS AND LOTS OF MONEY!



THey will rip your cash, credit card, hedge funds, stocks, ETFS, FX, and whatever else you have....if u dont have enough, they will just grad ur moms and dads money accounts etc... and when they have enough, they'll screw you for another man!

BUT i do hope you find a lovely women who will love you for who you are! :)
Life is loud, ROCK IT!


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