Dating situation for caucasian European males in Singapore

[CaptainBullus]

and she is sufficiently obedient, humble, cooks, takes care of children, household etc. etc. .

This is a girlfriend you're talking about, not a maid right?

[x9200]

Yep, definitely not a maid. A maid is not for taking care of children.

[PNGMK]

Try dating someone who is smarter, hotter and makes more money than you. How long can you last with her without losing your sense of pride/sanity in Asia?

So Asian men prefer to date women less hot than themselves?
Now I understand why some Asian males walk holding hands.

That's why I said 'and'. In real life, you get to choose only two out of three options.

Hot + Smart
Smart + Money
Hot + Money

You've got that wrong - the matrix always has a negative.

Hot+Dumb
Smart+Poor
Rich+ugly

[Fortan]

You've got that wrong - the matrix always has a negative.

Hot+Dumb
Smart+Poor
Rich+ugly

You forgot dumb and ugly, as well as dumb and rich (tai tai)

[nakatago]

Eee, ...I don't know, I would say for an average male (Asian or not) hot women are always desirable and it really does not matter whether he is less or more hot.

Besides, for a traditional male, he probably would not mind to have smarter and more money earning woman as long as he is the head of the house and she is sufficiently obedient, humble, cooks, takes care of children, household etc. etc. The problem is, smart and money making women are seldom like this.

Hot, successful, assertive woman who earns more than the husband

cough*pussywhipped*cough

That's so unmacho.

[JR8]

Hot, successful, assertive woman who earns more than the husband
cough*pussywhipped*cough
That's so unmacho.

... but can be tolerated if they're good in bed and also call from NTUC to ask if you want them to pick up some beer whilst they're there.

[macaroonie]

But those men who expect their educated wives to do all the housework, cooking, cleaning etc should seriously consider marrying someone who can do those things & good at it! But if they're seriously looking for intellectual input- they will have to compromise & do some of the chores themselves

[JR8]

A guy doesn't marry for 'intellectual input' ...... phhhh ....

[ecureilx]

But those men who expect their educated wives to do all the housework, cooking, cleaning etc should seriously consider marrying someone who can do those things & good at it! But if they're seriously looking for intellectual input- they will have to compromise & do some of the chores themselves

years ago someone told me why SG govt seriously bars maids from Marrying SCs ...

if no such rule the guys will realise all their life they needed a maid, not a wife and all hell will break loose ...

[x9200]

A guy doesn't marry for 'intellectual input' ...... phhhh ....

Well, it may sound like we are joking here a bit but really, I suppose 95% guys are like this.

[macaroonie]

If that's the case then the converse is also true, an educated female would not need a male

[sundaymorningstaple]

Maybe that's why there are so many lesbians here?

[zzm9980]

You've got that wrong - the matrix always has a negative.

Hot+Dumb
Smart+Poor
Rich+ugly

You forgot dumb and ugly, as well as dumb and rich (tai tai)

No, he got it. That Taitai didn't start out rich. She started out Hot but became rich with her husband's money.

And they all become ugly eventually. That's why there is OT, Geylang, Karaoke, etc.

[x9200]

If that's the case then the converse is also true, an educated female would not need a male

Education will help only a little. Ultimately not many people would like to spend their lives alone.
Besides, IMHO there is only like 5% of women who have a substantial problem with it.

[pisceangirl]

I'm programmed that way? Really?

Try dating someone who is smarter, hotter and makes more money than you. How long can you last with her without losing your sense of pride/sanity in Asia?

It's not that I don't want to try. It's more like they never even gave it a romantic chance to begin with.

Case in point:
I asked the women arnd my age (~25) in my social group, and in the end it became a one on one "friends hangout"...I try to get close to slightly older women (early 30s) and they treat me like a kid somewhat. (heart to heart talk here, whoops)...maybe they see I don't have anything worth sharing with them, or perhaps nothing worth discovering (In their view)?

Yeah, it's possible to have income differences in this day and age. I would probably shirk away if she begins by saying, "Oh I work in Raffles Place/CBD area..." but if she's humble towards life, I would probably get drawn to her even more. I did have some issues on deciding where to take one of my dates for dinner since she's...let's say "one class higher" than me.

Perhaps I gotta get a dating coach here...dress myself more like a grown up man (I still go around to work or social activities with jeans, t-shirt, Chuck Taylors and sometimes a hoodie), read more books, watch more worldly news, go travel and experience more. Or get a pet dog.

PS. In my defense, when I do take them out, I would dress appropriately, even though it's just a weekday after work dinner.

I think you should want to be with someone who likes you for you right? I find all the stuff about "How to's" and "What to's" on dating very amusing because it almost sounds like a script (for someone else ). In my opinion, there are certain basic standards of hygeine and personal grooming that both men and women should adhere to. Your dressing style is a representation of your personality and you shouldn't have to alter that too much (certainly dress for the occasion but that's different and even there you can find ways to express your individual style).

As for income differences, the thing I don't get is why you should feel the need to "level up" or take your date to a certain restaurant cause she works in CBD. In my opinion, the coolest thing about dating an independent woman is that she can buy her own bag and won't look to you for material stuff (and if she does then you need to consider if that's the kind of person you want to be with).

One of my best dates recently was a river side "picnic" where we each brought home cooked stuff. Great food(MSG free!!!) plus lovely conversation

Last but not the least, being with the right person can be awesome but being by yourself is infinitely better than being with the wrong one!