Singapore Expats Forum

Times are a changing and I'm feeling old.

Discuss about the latest news & interesting topics, real life experience or other out of topic discussions with locals & expatriates in Singapore.

User avatar
ksl
Governor
Governor
Posts: 6005
Joined: Mon, 19 Jul 2004
Location: Singapore
Contact:

Postby ksl » Fri, 08 May 2009 12:13 am

QRM wrote:
cbavasi wrote:.... When I get a typed letter from my nieces/nephews it always makes me wonder - but then again, it's nice to get a note in the mail from them..


I remember years ago a cousin of mine, a real geek, would send out a news letter to all his relatives it contained his latest family news, a few photos, what he read that week etc. I thought it was quite creative at the time, just at the start of DTP software and home printers.

My elderly Aunt was very upset by it saying he was so rude, the newsletter show he is to lazy to even bother writing a proper letter and she rather not receive it. Interesting his news letters in many ways was the genesis of Facebook, twitter, blogs

Time to move on folks its oredi here in short form writing, the police in the UK are experimenting with signs in SMS short hand so the yutes can relate to it. Without realizing it, a lot of virtual manners are already second nature, IF YOU SEE WHAT I MEAN HOW RUDE IS THIS?


Life is really too short to worry about it :lol: After 30 years of watching it go down the drain, I don't give a toss, but I can still be polite about it :) The young ones, can make their own beds to lie on! :wink: While everyone is accumulating and saving, I'll be just trying to enjoy myself and that's also not easy, when you have all the time in the world. So mostly I'm free ..............but not in that sense some of you are thinking! :lol: I'm afraid that manners and politeness rule wherever one is in the world and will always rule, no matter how many high tech idiots there are :P I believe the high tech idiots will die, long before the change of generations, and even though people are into high tech gadgets, they are not stupid to believe that mobile phones and messages will lead the way, a few maybe, a general consensus would probably show, that the old ways are better.

Although my belief is that many today are suffering from education failures and lower standards, just to get the youngsters out of school, establishments saving face I call it and interference of commercialism into the Universities, that takes priority over education standard, and that is fact.

User avatar
pakjohn
Chatter
Chatter
Posts: 353
Joined: Mon, 29 Sep 2008
Location: Jamaica

Postby pakjohn » Fri, 08 May 2009 9:07 am

Life is really too short to worry about it


Fully agree...

I feel enlightened by this post; I had no idea there are so many gracious and well mannered subscibers. :P

When people are kind enough to ask me to help them celebrate something, I don't try to correct what ever gaps they've had in their upbringing. It's snobbish to do so. On the other hand, nothing worse than showing up at someones house for a "celebration" only to have some rigid expectation of how to behave. Loosen up and enjoy why don't you?
Pakjohn

User avatar
road.not.taken
Editor
Editor
Posts: 1293
Joined: Sat, 06 Oct 2007

Postby road.not.taken » Fri, 08 May 2009 9:54 am

pakjohn wrote:
Life is really too short to worry about it


Fully agree...

I feel enlightened by this post; I had no idea there are so many gracious and well mannered subscibers. :P

When people are kind enough to ask me to help them celebrate something, I don't try to correct what ever gaps they've had in their upbringing. It's snobbish to do so. On the other hand, nothing worse than showing up at someones house for a "celebration" only to have some rigid expectation of how to behave. Loosen up and enjoy why don't you?


I think you are overlooking the fact that the hosts forgot to make this experience enjoyable for Matney. Our expectations are not rigid, at least mine are not -- I enjoy all kinds of parties, at all levels of formality. If the host is not warm and takes the time to make the guests feel welcomed ~ then it fails.

User avatar
Strong Eagle
Moderator
Moderator
Posts: 11108
Joined: Sat, 10 Jul 2004
Location: Off The Red Dot
Contact:

Postby Strong Eagle » Fri, 08 May 2009 10:06 am

pakjohn wrote:
Life is really too short to worry about it


Fully agree...

I feel enlightened by this post; I had no idea there are so many gracious and well mannered subscibers. :P

When people are kind enough to ask me to help them celebrate something, I don't try to correct what ever gaps they've had in their upbringing. It's snobbish to do so. On the other hand, nothing worse than showing up at someones house for a "celebration" only to have some rigid expectation of how to behave. Loosen up and enjoy why don't you?


I don't have expectations (rigid or otherwise) but I do have standards. You need have no expectation of how you ought to behave at my house if I invite you and you can know in advance that as a host I will do my best to insure you had a good time.

irvine
Chatter
Chatter
Posts: 312
Joined: Mon, 15 Dec 2008

Postby irvine » Fri, 08 May 2009 11:00 am

Matney... more to come.

I agree that it is rude to send invites and thank you notes via text, and kept waiting at parties. To the senders, they probably think 1) at least they invited 'personally' and not asking someone else to ask you to come, 2) at least they sent a thank you note.

Sorry to say, but I find that very local - they have an excuse for everything, even when they're in the wrong. Down to taxi and bus drivers. That's of course another story another day.

My own experience, I got two wedding invites by text too. One from an old friend who did eventually passed me the hard-copy of the very nice wedding invitation card. The other was from my sister-in-law who is a local. Of all people, someone in the family does that. And best part, the text message was not personalized, it was like a general date, time, place message. Gosh, it was unbelievable where were her manners. I was rather taken aback.

User avatar
ksl
Governor
Governor
Posts: 6005
Joined: Mon, 19 Jul 2004
Location: Singapore
Contact:

Postby ksl » Fri, 08 May 2009 12:00 pm

road.not.taken wrote:
pakjohn wrote:
Life is really too short to worry about it


Fully agree...

I feel enlightened by this post; I had no idea there are so many gracious and well mannered subscibers. :P

When people are kind enough to ask me to help them celebrate something, I don't try to correct what ever gaps they've had in their upbringing. It's snobbish to do so. On the other hand, nothing worse than showing up at someones house for a "celebration" only to have some rigid expectation of how to behave. Loosen up and enjoy why don't you?


I think you are overlooking the fact that the hosts forgot to make this experience enjoyable for Matney. Our expectations are not rigid, at least mine are not -- I enjoy all kinds of parties, at all levels of formality. If the host is not warm and takes the time to make the guests feel welcomed ~ then it fails.


I agree with RNT although, the host was not at all honourable, although we are adults, and we do have the ability to approach others and politelty tap them on the shoulder and introduce oneself. There are many reasons why a host may not have the confidence to meet everyone.

The lack of manners is only one excuse, I could find many excuses, and having rubbed shoulders with aristocrats myself, I find that ignorance and aloofness is maybe everywhere, I would still make the most of the occasion to meet others.

User avatar
ozchick
Editor
Editor
Posts: 1001
Joined: Fri, 21 Sep 2007
Location: Germany

Postby ozchick » Sun, 10 May 2009 2:50 pm

road.not.taken wrote:Matney, even if you are a bit old-fashioned, that doesn't explain why basic manners have to fly out the window all in the name of technology. There is a way to use technology and maintain civility, the IT age is not a blanket excuse for sloppy manners. There are two issues here, the invitation and the behavior of the guests and host. Related, but different. Ask yourself:

Did the invitation positively set the tone for the event? Was it a reflection of the occasion? Did it help you understand the dress code? The level of formality? Did it make you feel you would be warmly welcomed?

It doesn't matter how it is delivered, if it didn't accomplish these objectives, then it fell short.

You are so funny -- you didn't want to be rude? You arrived on time, gift in hand, smile on your face and you were afraid you were being rude? No dear, you were fine. You can chalk up the bad manners to generational differences or the computer age or anything you want -- if the event left you feeling this way, then they don't know how throw a party. Simple as that.


Spot on! Yibbida yibbida!
'Are you trying to tempt me because I come from the land of plenty?'

Matney
Reporter
Reporter
Posts: 760
Joined: Tue, 22 Feb 2005
Location: Brunei

Postby Matney » Tue, 12 May 2009 3:38 am

Thanks for all the comments. I believe we agree that the whole situation reeked of 'bad manners' and that even those times are a changing, there's a time and place for texting and invites and thank you notes are not. I'm glad to see I wasn't the only one feeling a bit miffed about the whole thing.

Valid comments made by RNT and SE. Thanks!

Irvine, the guest of honour was Japanese and the host was British, in fact not one attendee was 'local'.

User avatar
mulatto
Regular
Regular
Posts: 80
Joined: Sat, 16 May 2009

Postby mulatto » Tue, 19 May 2009 11:57 pm

1 SMS cost less than a 60-second phone call :P

Actually, I do feel quite offended whenever a friend SMSed me for an invitation rather than calling personally...

TennoHekka
Regular
Regular
Posts: 86
Joined: Wed, 07 Jan 2009
Location: Twilight Zone?

Re: Times are a changing and I'm feeling old.

Postby TennoHekka » Wed, 20 May 2009 1:01 am

Matney wrote:I was invited to a baby shower for a friend by text message. I didn't know the person who sent the message and she didn't give her name. I confirmed with the mother-to-be who was surprised I didn't know this person. I texted back to the host, saying I would make an appearance, but that I had birthday party to attend the same evening.

I was approached by another attendee about putting in some money towards a present. Great! It means I don't have to go shopping as I work full time.

I arrive at the time that was given in the text along with another lady who I knew. Nobody else arrives for at least 20 minutes and others arrive every 10 minutes or so. Near 9, 2 hours after I have arrived, they pass out champagne for a toast to the guest, but no mention of gift. I left at 10 as I'm already late for my other party.

Two days later, I receive a text saying thanks for coming, nice to see you and thanks for the gift from the guest. Now I didn't want to be rude, but I felt like texting back and asking what the gift was.

My point, and I'm showing my age on this, but what happened to written invites, written thank you notes and opening presents so everyone can see what the guest has received? Is this how the new generation does everything these days? I would have been fine if there had been an actual phone call, but texting??!!


Obama's a blackberry addict. Get used to the times.


  • Similar Topics
    Replies
    Views
    Last post

Return to “General Discussions”

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 2 guests