Need an advice to save my marriage

[TennoHekka]

hi, Iam new to this forum, I need the suggestion of you people around the world to save my marriage.
This is the second marriage for both me and my husband. ya met thru the online matrimonial services and then happn. Intially things were fine. but me finding him having a very close girl firend and since I asked abt that, things got changed between us. Even his parents do support only him. I dont have any one to help. Begging a lot only this reunion of us has started.Now this life is like an stage where characters perform their role. Now I have stopped expressing myself. He now never talks lovingly , caringly or openly to me. its just moving on.Tell me anyone as wat to do?

Go to myspace relationship forums and do your crying there?

[seetha_genuine]

Actually, I dont want to break this relation and move on. Its not bcoz of love and all. Its bcoz theres no gurantee that in future things will be good. Its all our expectations na. So my attempt is to save this relation and make it more strong and gud. I just want to avoid the interference of the other lady in our life bcoz rest of the things are to an extent fine. Or in some way make him realize that shes just making use of him.I dont know in which way i could do that. Direct talk on this topic will be of no use.

[ksl]

Actually, I dont want to break this relation and move on. Its not bcoz of love and all. Its bcoz theres no gurantee that in future things will be good. Its all our expectations na. So my attempt is to save this relation and make it more strong and gud. I just want to avoid the interference of the other lady in our life bcoz rest of the things are to an extent fine. Or in some way make him realize that shes just making use of him.I dont know in which way i could do that. Direct talk on this topic will be of no use.

To make it strong and good, means that you have to get a grip of your own emotional ego and relax take it in your stride, and show him you are comfortable and not overly jealous of him meeting and talking with women friends, don't let it worry you, and why should it worry you, if you do not have any proof of him having an affair, trust is the important factor here v's your own imagination and it's easy for everyone to make judgement, when we shouldn't be judging anyone! There are always two sides to a story, and the psychological explanation of this story is one of distrust and jealousy of another female and her hubby that she doesn't know very well.

You will handle it because as you say you have no other choice with the future being so insecure, my advice is not to dwell on it, when it may not be true, what you are thinking, and if you love him, why wouldn't you wish him all the happiness and let him go, if that's what he wants to do!

Remember the old saying there is nothing worse than a woman scorned, don't let it happen to yourself, because it may be all in your mind.

[wnyw]

For counselling sessions and all Iam not intrested as I myself is a Psychologist, though not practicing. As Iam a Foreigner in Singapore and the other lady as PR in Singapore, the law suits more to them than me. And more over going after the law will make the situation complex. Is there any use in finding the husband of the other lady?

After reading your replies, i think you really wish to pour out your emotions and hoping to get some suggestions to what else you can do.

I did a lot of counselling myself to my friends and colleagues whenever they need an ear, though I'm not a certified psychologist. So when I experienced betrayal, i had a hard knock. Cos i didn't knw whom to turn to, and pride (as a counsellor, thinking that i knw everything bout handling emotion blah2) just make it diff for me to approach familiar people to talk to.

But i think if seetha you really wish to talk to some one, I don't think there's anything to lose if you speak to professional for counselling session (paid/unpaid). at least they can hear the full story and u get to fully pour out yr feeling.

As psychologist, i think you know what i mean...

Take care and you must try to at least have enough rest physically and mentally to make sound decisions in your life.

[seetha_genuine]

ya, its a truth that I feel very bad and I really want to sort out the issue. Day by day things get worsen. Counsellors and all will be of less use. Any views of person who met such situations, or their friends or relatives and how they tackle.Really iam much troubled with this