Need an advice to save my marriage

[seetha_genuine]

hi, Iam new to this forum, I need the suggestion of you people around the world to save my marriage.
This is the second marriage for both me and my husband. ya met thru the online matrimonial services and then happn. Intially things were fine. but me finding him having a very close girl firend and since I asked abt that, things got changed between us. Even his parents do support only him. I dont have any one to help. Begging a lot only this reunion of us has started.Now this life is like an stage where characters perform their role. Now I have stopped expressing myself. He now never talks lovingly , caringly or openly to me. its just moving on.Tell me anyone as wat to do?

[bigfilsing]

Sorry to be so cynical but if you're posting on a forum it's done.

Get over it/him and move on ASAP

Good luck

[zien]

try to talk to him....

if he font like then just do your best to be a good wife..
show him that you really commited on him.. dont just keep quite and like angry...
sooner or later he will slowly appreciate you...

[OogieBoogie]

@bigfilsing; posting on a forum about that doesn't mean it's over. She's in pain, and probably doesn't want to talk about that to her friend. Maybe she's ashamed.

@seetha; you need to talk to your husband, and ask him what happened, why things changed so much. You need to tell him how do you feel, and that you can't bear this life eternally. If he doesn't want to make thing works, and doesn't amend anything , or doesn't tell you what's the problem so you can work on it both of you, the only solution is divorce i'm afraid...
Mark a day in like 6 months. If nothing improve before this day despite all your effort, break up.

[seetha_genuine]

Ya, I discussed this one day and after that the issues went worser.Intially he promised to give off that relation, but all in vain. he still maintains it. First I thout its my feelings, but Iam seeing his movements so. Now Iam really unable to fight or get angry. Iam just keeping silent.sometimes feels like killing myself. but.I dont know iam totally confused.

[OogieBoogie]

first of all, forget about the killing myself stuff. There's far better solution than this one.

I don't understand what you mean by "close girlfriend". Was it like an affair, or just the his childhood friend who happen to be a girl, or a an ex girlfriend?

Ask him why he didn't keep his promise first, and tell him you really feel uncomfortable with this stuff, and talk about it. Just not talking about this situation will make it worst.

Is there a residency visa issue interlinked with your marriage together?

[seetha_genuine]

its not exactly girl friend, but an affair. I discussed a month b4 and he said he will not continue. but its just the same maintained. me Iam in visting visa. so 2 months here. one month back to India and again here.
In the beginning of this month, I told him, we need to talk and so whenever hes free, askd him to talk. but still this date he didnt . and life is just moving. wat 2 do?

[OogieBoogie]

it looks obvious...
Next time you go back to India, don't come back...
Put an official separation form on the table, and ask him to chose. If nothing change, get a divorce, get a pension, and move on.

[seetha_genuine]

To India, Iam going to his home only. no one for me. and abt divorce and all if I start thinking, Iam unable to find an end. Now I dont have any job or any bank balance to maintain myself. I left all just for marrying him and now totally ruined.Iam really confused

[OogieBoogie]

no more family to help you? Where did you get maried? Is your husband indian too? Why don't you have a depend pass here?

[seetha_genuine]

ya, I dont hv my family to help me. and since for both of us this is second marriage, his passport is not yet updated. so not in dependent visa.

[OogieBoogie]

do you STILL have family or no more family at all?
In which country did you get married? Check the law about divorce in the country you get married, to see your rights.

Ask him to see a counselor about marriage too

[seetha_genuine]

talking in terms of law and all its of no use. marriage happend in India. but not yet legal procedures done. I dont want to go fighting and all. wats the use of that. just making more and more confusions. just trying to make a last attempt to save this marriage. plz help wat I could do?

[OogieBoogie]

honestly i have no more idea to submit

[seetha_genuine]

thanks a lot for atleast expressing ur views in this. Iam thinking , let me see how far I can go. thank u once again.