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BBQ woes

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daytripper65
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BBQ woes

Postby daytripper65 » Wed, 15 Apr 2009 11:53 am

Hi,

We live in a condo and have noticed that several units have BBQ grills on their balconies, and decided to look into it. Called management office to inquire about the rules. They said there are no government or condo by-laws prohibiting use of grills on your property, but to use smokeless charcoal to minimize smoke. We went with ga$ to eliminate this charcoal threat altogether.

We grilled twice. The second time the security guard came to the door to tell us that the unit above us complained and asked that we don't grill anymore.

My husband went up to find out what the problem was and see how we could possibly rectify it. The lady RAILED into him about the mess it caused her maid and how we would like it if... on and on. My husband suggested moving it to the opposite end of our balcony which is not under any windows of theirs, etc. She shouted again, saying that it is against the by-laws anyway, which they checked before moving in, etc. My husband told her he checked with the management office and also that many other people use grills, to which she replied the management office is a bunch of idiots and the people who use grills are all "ang mo" who don't care about anybody else (my husband is Chinese, but she knows I am not, as she has sent her daughter down a number of times to retrieve things they drop on to our balcony).

I am frustrated, because I don't complain about the loads (and loads) of laundry that drip (and fall) on to our balcony every day, or constant drilling, or their horrendous piano playing, etc.

Our decision following this confrontation was to sell the twice used grill. However, the more I think about conceding to this type of person the more infuriated I feel. Keeping it raises concerns too, as we don't want to impose on anybody, or provoke retaliation.

Does anybody here keep grills in their own units? Do you have any problems? Is this generally considered rude?

Thanks,

DT

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Postby QRM » Wed, 15 Apr 2009 12:09 pm

I think its very inconsiderate, the smoke and smell gets every where, one thing is having a bbq on your lawn, but when you know there will be loads of people above that will be effected by smell and smoke and still do it then that's taking the piss.

Equally inconsiderate is bad piano, drum, saxophone playing in a condo. Even if you are really good, its always courteous to ask the neighbours and fix a time when and for how long it will go on for.

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Postby Barczar » Wed, 15 Apr 2009 12:21 pm

Grill On and to hell with the complaints! It's never a 2 way street here - read STOMP every once in a while just to see what people complain about here, no matter what you do, someone will complain, so as long as you aren't breaking any rules or by-laws etc...next time the security comes, offer them some!

Happy Grilling!
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Postby sundaymorningstaple » Wed, 15 Apr 2009 4:00 pm

I'm 50-50 here. Is your unit on the windward or the lee side of the condo? If you are on the windward side then do you keep your patio door open when BBQ'ing? Probably not as you don't want the BBQ greasy smoke/fumes drifting through your house. Therefore the greasy smoke/fumes drifts upward and if your neighbours above you have their windows/door open then it goes into their homes instead leaving a greasy film on everything.

If you are on the lee side the fumes will drift upward and will be also sucked into the neighbour's flat due to the vortex created by being the the lee of the building as it would also tend to do in your own unit as well but not as much as it's rising as well as being sucked back at the same time. Similar to the way the rear of a station wagon gets filled with dirt/dust if the rear window is left down a ways.

BBQ's on porches can normally only be used without neighbours complaining when all your neighbours directly above you are invited to partake. ;) Of course, you could become one of the reasons the government has the long suffering 'courtesy campaign' and say it's not against the management rules so I am allowed to do it. So, no matter how inconsiderate I may appear, I'm in the right. :-|

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Postby gillypadi » Wed, 15 Apr 2009 5:28 pm

Don't condos already provide bbq pits? I am with your neighbour on this (not the crazy manic bit of rambling on and on).

been to a few bbqs where friends grill on the balcony. Many times you will find the doors to the home closed to avoid the smell and grease from coming in so I suppose it would be the same for your neighbour.. no? Even so I leave the house smelling like I've been bbq-ed. Hair gets so greasy.. it's not even funny.

I am not aussie and I hate bbqs so I may be bias.

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Postby jolonicc » Wed, 15 Apr 2009 7:49 pm

Grilling once a week vs them, as you put it:

dropping clothes daily
singing badly daily
bad piano playing daily
bickering between them and hearing it daily


I dont know, sounds like something is wrong with them and I would not mess with them. I prefer passive agressive revenge, but not sure how that would go over in Sing.

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Postby Strong Eagle » Wed, 15 Apr 2009 9:40 pm

Make a deal with them... you BBQ activities against all the things you don't like... set a schedule... and if they don't respond... put double charcoal on and smoke up the place.

My view: People willing to inconvenience you usually don't respond to anything except being inconvenienced themselves. Witness: Next door dog barks so early. Solution: Ring bell at 5:30 AM every morning noting that dog is barking... soon dog is not outside.

Cheers.

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Postby pakjohn » Wed, 15 Apr 2009 11:38 pm

Make a deal with them... you BBQ activities against all the things you don't like... set a schedule... and if they don't respond... put double charcoal on and smoke up the place.


Please do get back to us and lets hear how that works out? lol!
Pakjohn

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Postby gillypadi » Thu, 16 Apr 2009 9:56 am

why fight fire with fire? These neighbours are not like your next door occupants in the hotel room when you travel. They will be there for a long time so best to nip it in the bud nicely or just ignore them.

If their laundry drops into your balcony, give them some clothes pegs.

Singing badly and excessive bickering? How thin are your walls anyway? I can only hear my neighbours talking and screaming if I am standing out in the yard with the windows open (and want to know what went on during the day - almost as good as daytime soap opera!)

Bad piano playing? Be patient. One day, they will improve.

I suppose it all boils down to how tolerant a person is. I deal with noisy kids on my floor who play along the corridors. Or the neighbours who cook sambal and fry balachan every other day. Or the neighbour upstairs who don't believe in lifting their furniture but dragging it across the hall. Or the kid who insist on hitting and dropping things on the floor....

Do I get mad or even? Nope. Do I stomp upstairs and yell like a 5 year old? Nope. I just sit back, crank up the volume on the TV and enjoy my Simon Cowell on Idol.

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Postby Forks » Thu, 16 Apr 2009 10:07 am

Strong Eagle has a good idea, I d go with that one. :D
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Postby sundaymorningstaple » Thu, 16 Apr 2009 12:20 pm

gillypadi wrote:why fight fire with fire? These neighbours are not like your next door occupants in the hotel room when you travel. They will be there for a long time so best to nip it in the bud nicely or just ignore them.

If their laundry drops into your balcony, give them some clothes pegs.

Better yet, pick 'em up and throw them down the garbage chute. They will a) get better clothes pegs, or b) buy a dryer.

Singing badly and excessive bickering? How thin are your walls anyway? I can only hear my neighbours talking and screaming if I am standing out in the yard with the windows open (and want to know what went on during the day - almost as good as daytime soap opera!)

You obviously don't live in an HDB flat then.....


Bad piano playing? Be patient. One day, they will improve.

Normally, that one day will not be in your lifetime however.....I've been listening to the same bad musicians on piano, french horn, oboe and flute for almost 10 years now.

I suppose it all boils down to how tolerant a person is. I deal with noisy kids on my floor who play along the corridors. Or the neighbours who cook sambal and fry balachan every other day. Or the neighbour upstairs who don't believe in lifting their furniture but dragging it across the hall. Or the kid who insist on hitting and dropping things on the floor....

Do I get mad or even? Nope. Do I stomp upstairs and yell like a 5 year old? Nope. I just sit back, crank up the volume on the TV and enjoy my Simon Cowell on Idol.

Or like the over amplified Karaoke sessions held in the RC office below my flat. Couldn't seem to get anything resolved no matter how many times we called the police. Soooooo. I joined the grassroots organizations and worked from the inside out. Now there is no Karaoke full stop! End of Story.


Sometimes one has to resort to more drastic measures. If they didn't then the government wouldn't have had to keep running the silly courtesy campaigns for the past 30 years. :cool:

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Postby gillypadi » Thu, 16 Apr 2009 12:35 pm

Oh well SMS, there must be a reason then that we are not neighbours :)

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Postby daytripper65 » Thu, 16 Apr 2009 3:36 pm

Thanks for all the comments. I enjoyed reading them and appreciate your taking the time to respond. I loved the bell conditioning example! What a riot.

To put things in a bit more context, we don’t use the BBQ pits because we grill very minimally. We would be trekking to the opposite side of our complex with two hotdogs. In fact, the night they complained, we had cooked one hotdog, one sausage and one burger, so the grill was on for maybe 10 minutes. Regardless, what tested my tolerance was the overeactive, rude response of the neighbor, not the complaint itself. I admit that grilling did not pique my radar for rudeness. I’ve lived in apartments my whole life where everybody grills on the balcony and I’ve never heard a single complaint. It was part of the camaraderie.

We had no mal-intent. We just tend to focus on the bigger picture, like how we can best use our time and energy to make a positive difference in this ailing world, while eating extra-crispy hotdogs.

I consider myself compassionate and courteous, least of all tolerant, so we are going to give the grill to a friend or sell it. I just would have felt better about giving it away if they had approached us in a friendly way. I probably would have made them three batches of my most famous chocolate chip cookies too, which they have forever caste off their bitter lips!

The piano is annoying, but I tolerate it. Somewhere along the line “drilling”

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Postby Strong Eagle » Thu, 16 Apr 2009 4:26 pm

daytripper65 wrote:I’m thinking along the lines of telling her exactly how I think she mishandled the situation, what sort of reaction her behavior is likely to provoke (anger, vengeance), and what a rotten example she’s setting for her daughter.


There was a sign in an old watering hole I used to haunt in Houston which said, "The only reason some people are alive is because it is illegal to kill them."

What you are thinking won't work, it will just provoke her more. It might make you feel better but that will be about the only positive outcome.

You are trying to use reason with a person unwilling to listen to reason. You are dealing with arrogance, hubris, and a touch of racism/provincialism, you ang mo.

You will only be perceived as lecturing her with no right to do so and in an attempt to cover up and divert from your own 'indiscretions'. She will even more sure that she is in the right and will really tell you to get lost.

No, the only choices you have are these: Forget about it. Or, the next time you hear that saw, bang on the door. Tell her you will call the police for illegal remodeling if you hear it again, then do. Throw their laundry down the garbage chute. Call the police over the music. Play to win.

This is not vengeance, it is not retribution. It is standing up for yourself against people who have no sense of where the boundaries should be.

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Postby sundaymorningstaple » Thu, 16 Apr 2009 5:53 pm

daytripper65,

Your platitudes are nice but impractical on a people that have their own definitions for words here. Pragmatic, to them, excuses any and all rudenesses and inconsiderations. Here's another one for you:

They do understand tit for tat though! :cool:

Why do you think the government has fines for everything. That they understand. Teach them something? Nah, won't happen, but condition them, can! :wink:
Last edited by sundaymorningstaple on Thu, 16 Apr 2009 5:58 pm, edited 1 time in total.


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