A little girl came home from school and said to her mother, "Mommy, today in school I was punished
for something that I didn't do."
The mother exclaimed, "But that's terrible! I'm going to have a talk with your teacher about this ...
by the way, what was it that you didn't do?"
The little girl replied, "My homework."
The child comes home from his first day at school.
Mother asks, "What did you learn today?"
The kid replies, "Not enough. I have to go back tomorrow."
Teacher: "Sam, what is the outside of a tree called?"
Sam: "I don’t know."
Teacher: "Bark, Sam, bark."
Sam: "Bow, wow, wow!"
Teacher: Milton, how can you prove the earth is round?
Milton: I can't. Besides, I never said it was.
The teacher is droning away in the classroom when he notices a student sleeping way up in the back row. The teacher shouts to the sleeping student's neighbour, "Hey wake that student up!"
The neighbour yells back, "You put him to sleep, you wake him up!"
Teacher: Johnny, you know you can't sleep in my class.
Johnny: I know. But maybe if you were just a little quieter, I could.
If at first you don't succeed, blame it on the teacher!
"If there are any idiots in the room, will they please stand up" said the sarcastic teacher.
After a long silence, one freshman rose to his feet.
"Now then mister, why do you consider yourself an idiot?" enquired the teacher with a sneer.
"Well, actually I don't," said the student, "but I hate to see you standing up there all by yourself."
Teacher: Why are you late, Joseph?
Joseph: Because of a sign down the road.
Teacher: What does a sign have to do with your being late?
Joseph: The sign said, "School Ahead, Go Slow!"
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