'Respect For Others'....A Forgotten Phrase, Seemingly...

[Dave Magoo]

Just wondering what's up with everyone these days. Every second thread I read at the moment is full of back biting, vindictive, personal attacks that quickly detract from the point of any thread, be it relevant or not.

Maybe, it has always been this way and I've not really noticed it before, but I for one am getting tired of following some initially rather interesting threads, only to see them rather rapidly descend into the sewer of playground tit-for-tat name calling et al.

Lighten up, everyone. I know times are not so good right now, but that's no excuse for not showing any respect on this forum. Take your frustrations out on Nintendo Wii or something, and keep these pages free for more intelligent, considered, thought out debate.

Cheers

[Wind In My Hair]

This forum was my introduction to the privileges and joys of 'free speech'

It used to upset me at first, and I thought this was the most quarrelsome bunch of people I'd ever known. Now I just sit back, relax and enjoy the show. Sometimes I join the fray, just to test how I'd survive in the 'real world' since my friends seem so pleasant and agreeable in comparison that I must be living in some fantasy land.

Never quite mastered the name-calling though. Need to work on that So leave these good quarrelsome people alone, you... er... twit... I mean... er... twat... I mean, stop trying to disrupt my worldly education in tit-for-tat!

[Vaucluse]

It used to upset me at first, and I thought this was the most quarrelsome bunch of people I'd ever known.

We are not, now bug off. (Walk, as we all know you people can't drive in this unfair country)

[Wind In My Hair]

We are not, now bug off.

Are you calling me an insect?

How dare you call people names... you... you GOOSE!

(I'm quite enjoying this name-calling business)

[road.not.taken]

I have noticed it too. So much so that I haven't been around much lately. It's not just here, anxiety levels are high everywhere -- people are worried and just plain scared. I hope my generation is not remembered for losing it's humanity when things got tough...

I'm a daughter of the 'Greatest Generation' -- that wouldn't sit too well with me.

[sundaymorningstaple]

Yeah, just another Baby Boomer just like me. Baby Boomers are what got us to this point were are at currently. Yeah, we're gonna be remembered alright!

[Vaucluse]

We are not, now bug off.

Are you calling me an insect?

How dare you call people names... you... you GOOSE!

(I'm quite enjoying this name-calling business)

If you're going to call me names then at least call me a gander . . .

road.not.taken

people are worried and just plain scared.

Are you saying that because of the uncertainty all around us, people are becoming more aggressive? Possibly a good point. Taking this one step further, do you also believe that we will have areas of civil unrest, say in the US among other places, where people are really hurting . . . and without a government social structure to support them?

There have been discussions about this possibility . . . it certainly has merit, I hope it doesn't come to that.

sundaymorningstaple

Baby Boomers are what got us to this point were are at currently. Yeah, we're gonna be remembered alright!

Yes, creating the most wealth ever for one generation . . . and ballsing it all up. The need for greed.

[road.not.taken]

road.not.taken

people are worried and just plain scared.

Are you saying that because of the uncertainty all around us, people are becoming more aggressive? Possibly a good point. Taking this one step further, do you also believe that we will have areas of civil unrest, say in the US among other places, where people are really hurting . . . and without a government social structure to support them?

There have been discussions about this possibility . . . it certainly has merit, I hope it doesn't come to that.

Not necessarily aggressive, but definitely anxious -- which of course plays out in a variety of ways.

Civil unrest? I think there are many tinder boxes around the globe, including the US, that are one more lay off, one more gadzillion dollar CEO bonus or ponzi scheme away from some serious civil unrest.

[Shona]

Why are people so tense in Singapore at the moment? I have heard that there have been a lot of job losses, it that what you mean?

[sundaymorningstaple]

The tenseness here is steadily rising as more and more people are finding out it is a lot worse here that the powers that be are telling. They keep dribbling it out in little dibs & dabs like this weekend finally saying this will last 2 to 3 years and could go as long as 6 years. A lot of us with our ears to the ground have known this since December.

Everybody is finally starting to cotton to the fact that this is purely an export driven economy and furthermore, the job creation that they keep spouting about isn't gonna happen or if it does, unless the US gets back on track even those jobs won't stay long (IRs I'm talking about) 16 or 22,000 jobs won't be there long if there are no customers at the tables or planes landing at Changi (how many SQ flights have been cancelled to N.America so far?) They've got them stored in the desert in the US.

There are, however, still a lot of jobs out there to be had but until the majority of the local unemployed population swallows their pride, those jobs will still be unfilled. Or, like in my case, filled with foreigners. I can't even keep the foreigners I've got because I can't keep locals on the job. Therefore I keep losing foreigners at renewal time for lack of quotas. At the end of the day? We are losing work as I don't have the manpower to service my contracts. I have work, I need staff but I cannot find locals who will work. How?

The other reason for the tenseness is that most here are way overextended financially so when you don't know if you head is on the chopping block every other day, you tend to wear that fear and it usually manifests itself in the way we conduct ourselves. Often lots of people unwisely burn their bridges as well. Not cool.

Of course there's people like me who are cantankerous and abrasive at the best of times so now I fit right in.

[Dave Magoo]

Good to have some informed insight into the rise in tension in the Lion City, all (with a few Gooses, Ganders, and Stick Insects along the way ).

As someone who has been on a rather sticky wicket since January, I'm fully aware of the situation also, but have tried to adopt a 'positive outlook' in the hope that positive things will bounce back my way in return . Idealistic, maybe, but it beats wallowing in 'negative nonsense' for sure .

Of course, everyone handles things differently, but not sure how turning sometimes legitimate rants against the status quo into full-on attacks on different forum contributors, or indeed Singapore's indigenous population(where 'exceptions' are often held up as 'the rule' - I'm with you on that one, WIMH and others!), really helps much. A good rule of thumb to adopt is to only say to others on the forum what you'd be happy to repeat to their faces should the opportunity arise. As SMS says (& Status Quo sang, was it?), 'burning bridges' is not really the way to go either, even in the forum 'comfort zone'.

WIMH - a brutal introduction to the world of free speech it must have been, you muppet , but I'm sure that your years spent in a country where 'tit-for-tat' is an Olympic sport must have held you in good stead, right, you Merchant ? Am happy to give you a few lessons in the art of name calling if needed

Road-Not-Taken - hang in there and rise above the nonsense. Let's just hope there's no uprising just yet

Vaucluse - at least what's good for the Goose is good for etc...

SMS - thanks for your 'cantankerous and abrasive' insight also ...a bleak picture indeed right now, and food for thought when considering 'what next'.

Shona - welcome to Sing . SMS's explanation is a pretty accurate reflection of what's happening right now, but, as long as you're pretty secure in your current work situation, Sing. is a great place to hang out for sure

Cheers all. I'm hopefully off to show some 'respect for others' at the usual Tuesday Night Pub Quiz at Boomerang later on if anyone wants to join the Forum-generated 'Motley Crew' team.

Magoo

[Wind In My Hair]

Here's my free speech response to blaming aggression on the anxiety of the present moment - BOLLOCKS. (See Dave, my time there was well spent mastering the finer points of the Queen's English )

When I joined this forum in 2005 the economy here was booming yet the rudeness and aggression then was far worse than it is now. So saying that good times bring out good behaviour and bad times bring out bad is just not logical in this case.

Plus, if that logic held then Dave would be extremely rude and those who are holding on to jobs or have no jobs in the first place would be sweet and polite, but that is clearly not the case. Strike Two.

Thirdly, hard times bring out the worst AND the best in people. Witness NY after 9/11 for example. What is latent in us just becomes more obvious when stress strips us of the presence of mind to disguise our reactions. When push comes to shove, the kind show more kindness and the selfish act more selfishly.

Read the threads over the years and you will see that it's the same people who are rude, regardless of the economy. Take Vaucluse - he's always rude but he's also always clever and funny... the rest of us are just plain rude! Perhaps we should change the title of the thread to "Responsibility for Ourselves - A Forgotten Concept, Seemingly..."

Then again, what do I know. After all, I come from an unfair country and can't drive because I speak bad English (since we're throwing logic out the window, this statement makes as much sense as anything else...)

[road.not.taken]

Here's my free speech response to blaming aggression on the anxiety of the present moment - BOLLOCKS.

Certainly we are all entitled to our opinions, but it looks a little different from where I sit. The people I see and know are anxious, worried and raw. In the US where most of my friends and family are, there is only a tidal wave of the bleakest news, 24 hours a day, 7 days a week.

Tension and stress are high and it seeps out into daily exchanges. Not all aggression is caused by this, of course. But I do think in the collective unconscious, people are fearful of change and uncertainty --and it plays out in a variety of ways. Perhaps it is more of an expat condition since the children's schooling, your home, income, social network, etc.. are all immediately effected so profoundly by a job loss. I have friends here who have lost jobs, don't know where they are moving to or when, don't know how to tell the kids they are leaving their home and their friends.

In any case, the perception of aggression is so subjective, and depends on what is happening in our own lives. On a forum, twenty different posters will have twenty different impressions based on where they spent their time. Someone on another thread was fairly rude to me recently, made comments that would have been considered snarky and small in any setting but were made far worse by the fact that I had a family tragedy playing out at home. I knew there was only downside for me to get tangled up in that, so I left it.

I think it's not entirely accurate to say it's the same ones over and over who are rude. Take SMS for example. Sometimes I find his rudeness and short-tempered responses truly unwarranted and maybe even a little mean-spirited. That breakfast thread?? But then again, he has the patience of Job at times and provides more practical advice than anyone here on all manner of subjects.

I think he's what Churchill was referring to when he described 'a riddle wrapped in a mystery inside an enigma'.

He's so old, he probably knew the man personally...

[sierra2469alpha]

Hope nobody is calling us rude and agressive

[Vaucluse]

Hope nobody is calling us rude and agressive

Never have, never will . . .