I guess you are feeling pretty low after the flaming, although you do deserve it.
jealousy is the route of all problems of abuse, and the problem is yourself.
You really do have to work hard with yourself, to win over jealousy, it's a sickness that many people have, I was once jealous for quite a long time, until I took the initiative to get out of the relationship, it was after my divorce so I already had experience of hurt too, I was kind of infatuated with this young lady, but we argued over the fact that i didn't want to get engaged, i needed time, although i was crazy about her, that I did have to admit to myself it was a sickness, and the only way was out. I decided it wasn't time to love anyone, until I could handle my own emotions, and the only way of doing that is to be alone, until you come to terms with loneliness and yourself.
Far too many bounce from one relationship to another, without dealing with the issue of jealousy, my son was the same, and at one time, he discussed it with me, he was afraid of being hurt, and losing something he loved, breakups are very stressful and rated almost the same has losing a close family member by death.
The only way to deal with it, is to realise those feelings are not true feelings of love, but an underlying fear you have of losing, probably control.
Many threaten their girls with violence to keep the relationship going, it is like SE say's the sign of a dedicated abuser, a sick mother f who needs professional help, so get help if you cannot deal with it.
First you get on tranquillisers to cool your temper, all the apologising is bullshit and you know it! So once you have apologised, tell her parent's you are getting out of her life until you have dealt with your problems, if she loves you she will wait, however how the hell can anyone love an abuser, I'll never know, but these relationships do continue.
I should know because i had seen my own father and mother fight like cat & dog for the best part of 35 years, they were both jealous of each other, both politically ideologists and different religions, the womaniser and the snoop, they hated each other yet died almost days of each other, so a very strong bond was present.
My father left my mum long before the divorce, but couldn't stop visiting, he eventually remarried a woman with the same name, lived in the same house number, they were both violent if tempers were lost, and i never forget the days we walked the streets, because of no home..... I settled the score when i was 18 with my father.
Don't ever believe you are cured of your abuse, until you can give everything you own away, learn the hard way, to possess anything is not love, but ego, have faith in something higher than the devil, for the devil walks within us all alongside god, whoever he/she maybe, so it's the good V's the bad and that's all their is too it. Deal with it!
I managed to work with myself, but it took me 23 years of single life, to realise, it's better to be single....although i go with the flow, and i love and respect all women, gods gift to man
but keep away from the apple
it's posion
get your own orchard and self confidence
