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Seek for help in divorce matters

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Lost Wing
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Seek for help in divorce matters

Postby Lost Wing » Sun, 01 Feb 2009 10:02 pm

Hi I would like to seek for advice on the divorce matters.

We used to be loving couple but after I came back from a business trip (abt 1 week in last Nov), I was so shocked that my hubby changed his attitude towards me 180 degree. At first I thought I might had make him angry or he just too tired from his new job. Later then I realised he met up with his dream gal during the days I was absent. I really sad to see our 3 yrs marriage is so fragile... I love him so much, and now still... That's why I decided to let him go, let him go for his love.

We are now living separate rooms under one roof. Must I wait for 3 yrs still if he dont want to admit that he had an affairs? (as when we came to this topic, his lips always sealed tight, no deny nor admit.)

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Wind In My Hair
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Postby Wind In My Hair » Sun, 01 Feb 2009 11:36 pm

Lost Wing,

I'm so sorry to hear this. I know people who didn't have to wait 3 years as long as it's mutually agreed. It's when one party doesn't agree that it takes that long. If you're ready to talk to a lawyer let me know, I have a good friend who practises family law here.

I don't want to give you false hope but if the affair started only in November, you may want to wait a while and see if the first flush of their romance fades off on its own. This happens quite often. I think the limerance (madly in love) phase usually lasts 6 months though it varies for different people. If they fall out within the next few months, he may turn back to you. You have to decide if you want him back, or whether this is it for you even if he repents.

It's your call, but the 3-year separation period is there for a reason. It's so both parties are sure they want the divorce. Your problems are less than 3 months old, so maybe a lot of patience and mental and emotional strength is called for at this time.

Do keep us posted here. Sometimes it helps just to talk about it, and you can tell total strangers things you may not want to tell your family or friends, and that can be therapeutic.

In the meantime, drink a lot of water, exercise, and get enough sleep. Whatever happens you're going to need to feel good about yourself to deal with it. So take care of yourself ok?

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Global Citizen
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Postby Global Citizen » Mon, 02 Feb 2009 4:31 am

Wow, that's great advice WIMH.

Lost Wing, I really don't have anything further to add as WIMH has put it all so eloquently. Whatever happens, do take care of yourself, both mentally and physically and good luck to you.
One man's meat is another's poison.

Lost Wing
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Postby Lost Wing » Thu, 05 Feb 2009 11:19 pm

Hi all,
Thanks for your listen ears... especially WIMH, thanks for your advice. I had asked him to go for counselling with me on this coming sat, but he didnt reply.. I just hope that he will turn up...

Btw, thanks for your concerns... which really warm my heart

steamy
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Postby steamy » Mon, 09 Feb 2009 5:58 pm

Hi Lost Wing,
How is the outcome last sat? Hope it turning well.

I know you currently are having hard times, please bear for a while.Time can proved everything and lesser your pain as I had been through this previously.

You live once in your lifetime. Do follow your heart and don't regret.

Cheers...... ^^


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