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Have A Good Laugh

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earthfriendly
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Have A Good Laugh

Postby earthfriendly » Sun, 11 Jan 2009 9:29 am

At a news conference, a journalist said to the politician running for the presidency, "Your secretary said publicly that you have a small penis. Would you please comment on this."

"The truth is," replied the politician, "that she has a big mouth.

**************************************************



Ha, ha, ha, and my favorite being #3 "They should not be treated like radio dials". Something that I had been saying for years ! I am not a radio, twiddling it won't make the volume go any higher. And he said, "but honey, I am trying to turn down the volume" :P .

MISTAKES MEN MADE IN BED

1. Not shaving. Like love, stubble hurts. When you drag your chin across her face or thighs, she might not be moaning from pleasure, but from pain.

2. Blowing in her ear. There’s a big difference between erotic whispering in someone’s ear and huffing and puffing as if you want to blow the house down.

3. Twiddling her nipples. Nipples are sensitive and should be treated gently. They should not be treated like radio dials.

4. Ignoring the rest of her body. A woman is made up of more than two breasts and a vagina. Pay attention to the rest of her.

5. Not disposing of used condoms. This is the responsibility of the person who wore it.

6. Not kissing first. Foreplay starts with passionate kissing. Don’t skip this part – she will feel neglected by your apparent haste.

7.Attacking the clitoris. Be gentle and don’t use direct pressure. This could be both uncomfortable and painful.

8. Stopping for a break. Women cannot pick up where they left off. In this respect they are different from men. If you stop, she will go back to square one very quickly.

9.Taking your pants off first. There are few things less attractive than a man in only socks, a shirt and underpants.

10. Going too fast. Remember this is not an Olympic event. There is no need for you to pump away like a hydraulic power tool. Build up slowly – and you both might have more fun.

11. Asking if she has come. You should be able to tell, shouldn’t you? If you can’t, assume that she hasn’t.

12. Nudging her head down. All women hate this. There is an element of desperation involved here when men do this. For women, it’s a very short step from being dragged to a cave by the hair. If both of you enjoy oral sex, this will happen by itself. Don’t involve an element of force.

13. Taking pictures. Her first thought will be “Who do you want to show them to?”

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DimWit Kid
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Re: Have A Good Laugh

Postby DimWit Kid » Sun, 11 Jan 2009 9:28 pm

earthfriendly wrote:9.Taking your pants off first. There are few things less attractive than a man in only socks, a shirt and underpants.


Is seeing a man only in a shirt more attractive? Some men don't wear socks and underpants....

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Postby earthfriendly » Tue, 13 Jan 2009 2:32 am

For me, it is the socks. Socks look best when they are hidden out of sight. The pants serve to cover up the socks. Ever seen a man wearing shorts with socks pulled up to his calves. Does it look attractive? Unless one is wearing those knee length type as a fashion. Coupled with skirts and boots, which can turn out very cute. So really, it applies to both men and women. Moral of the story, take off socks first, before anything else.

Just the shirt alone won't cut it either, for me! A female friend attended a girly dinner show and said she wished the male performers would cover up. It spoiled her appetite! I believe most females find the overhang unattractive.

When in doubt, consult the mirror. The mirror does not lie. The mirror is a girl's (and man's) best friend!

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sundaymorningstaple
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Postby sundaymorningstaple » Tue, 13 Jan 2009 7:13 am

earthfriendly wrote:For me, it is the socks. Socks look best when they are hidden out of sight. The pants serve to cover up the socks. Ever seen a man wearing shorts with socks pulled up to his calves. Does it look attractive? Unless one is wearing those knee length type as a fashion. Coupled with skirts and boots, which can turn out very cute. So really, it applies to both men and women. Moral of the story, take off socks first, before anything else.


Bet you don't say that if it was Hugh Jackman wearing stubbies & knee socks or those burly scots with their kilts & knee socks on do you! Oh, how perceptions change.... :P

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DimWit Kid
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Postby DimWit Kid » Thu, 15 Jan 2009 12:14 am

earthfriendly wrote:Just the shirt alone won't cut it either, for me! A female friend attended a girly dinner show and said she wished the male performers would cover up. It spoiled her appetite! I believe most females find the overhang unattractive.


But earthfriendly... but... loosing my underwear before pants is really hard to do you know. Without scissors. Believe me I tried just now... very hard. And I don't bring scissors everywhere... :P

Anyway so what is the correct sequence? Shoes off, oh wait, sunglasses first. Then shoes, then underwear or boxers (which is the difficulty here), then shirts, then trousers or short... Honestly when it got to that point I don't think most men can remember this difficult sequence...

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Postby Global Citizen » Fri, 16 Jan 2009 1:34 am

Take it all off in no particular sequence!! :P
One man's meat is another's poison.


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