Massage or prostitution?

[sherylwang]

Hello,im new in this forum,and i dont live in singapore,never been there,but i have my boyfriend that goes to there every month.
Sometimes he likes to go for a massage,some months ago when i called him at 10 night he said he was taking a massage with a friend of the office..i could here the sounds of the massage and some people talking,but i was surprised that people can take a massage so late in the night..and i know in south asia is normal that prostitutes gives first a massage and later sex service to the client.
My question is..do you think he was only taking a massage at that hour so late?is it possible?or it was sure a prostitution service?
He said to me need 1 hour more for arrive to his house,but he came after 2 or 3 hours and said his friend wanted to drink more after the massage.
And he said the massage was only in the legs and foot.He cheated me?

[Plavt]

Seems you don't trust him and only he knows the truth.......

[ksl]

Hello,im new in this forum,and i dont live in singapore,never been there,but i have my boyfriend that goes to there every month.
Sometimes he likes to go for a massage,some months ago when i called him at 10 night he said he was taking a massage with a friend of the office..i could here the sounds of the massage and some people talking,but i was surprised that people can take a massage so late in the night..and i know in south asia is normal that prostitutes gives first a massage and later sex service to the client.
My question is..do you think he was only taking a massage at that hour so late?is it possible?or it was sure a prostitution service?
He said to me need 1 hour more for arrive to his house,but he came after 2 or 3 hours and said his friend wanted to drink more after the massage.
And he said the massage was only in the legs and foot.He cheated me?

Dear Sheryl, Why torture yourself with these thoughts? How on earth do you expect forum people to know. Do you believe they all have crystal balls?

The truth is I do have a crystal ball, and a silver tea pot, and i spend hours looking into the crystal ball, and rubbing the bloody tea pot, but nothing ever happens...no lotto numbers or magic genie and still not enough sex to satisfy my Fredrik or fred the addick-t. Some people suggest Geyland or was it Geylang.. I could never dream of it, but a massage, well, i have thought about it, and let's see if i was asked if i wanted extras, would that be tea and biscuits I wonder,,what do you think?

I do sympathise with you, but why loose sleep over the prick, you will only make yourself paranoid and for what. Just tell him, that you are going for a massage too, then once you are there, phone him up, and make sure he hears the sounds of your enjoyment, of the massage i mean, not the sex part...your having He is also welcome to post too

Funny if he asks the same questions as you, don't you think.....and no harm done, other than the paranoia and a sleepless night. So take my advice and don't worry, just enjoy life like he is doing and if you are a catholic, well better still, go to confession

But don't torture your mind, like you are doing!

[smayrhofer]

agree with above post.

it could really be either one. maybe his friend wanted special services, but your bf being loyal to you, just accompanied him but only got a normal massage.

If you don't trust your boyfriend, talk to him about it. If you still don't trust him after that, reconsider your relationship.

Oh - and make him get a blood test before you sleep with him without condom after he gets back. If he really is getting a happy ending, you don't want him passing some STD on to you. It happens.

[Bafana]

You can get an authentic non sex massage anytime of the day here so there is truth in what he says. Whether he is bending that truth is another story and one only you can judge.

[Wind In My Hair]

You can get an authentic non sex massage anytime of the day here so there is truth in what he says.

Hmm, you must frequent a different kind of establishment than I do. Most above-board spas here close at 10pm, with the last booking around 8:30pm. This applies to both the hotel spas and independent retail spas that I know of. I do not know of any 24-hour spa, and would love to be enlightened if there are any since I sometimes can't get to a place by 8:30pm which is the normal closing time. 'Massage parlours' or 'massage centres', on the other hand, are a whole different ball game...

Sheryl, it must be distressing for you to have to worry about this.

Firstly, the other posters have a valid point about trust. If you don't trust your BF, then you need to examine either the relationship or yourself. If you're normally a trusting person then something must be smelling fishy to get your guard up and you need to listen to your instinct. If you have a history of distrusting people, then maybe it's just that playing up again.

Secondly, I agree with Smayrhofer that you need to protect yourself first if you really suspect something amiss. This boyfriend may not last but any disease you get will stay with you for a long time. Use condoms. Just tell him you don't want to get pregnant and other contraceptive options don't work for you at the moment (which is true since most prevent pregnancy but not STDs).

Sigh, it's a tough call for you. On one hand, it would awful if your BF was innocent and you wrongfully suspected him. On the other hand, it's funny how no man admits to using prostitutes yet the industry here is thriving... Short of hiring a private investigator, you will probably never know for sure. All I can say is: Go with your gut. Take care.

[jfd]

Seems to me that the main point of the question is not so much looking for people here on the forums to try to mind read, but just to clarify what is likely to be the case in Singapore, having no idea of what the norm is.

For example, if he were going to Bangkok, all else being equal, I would say the chances were probably very slim that no sex was involved. On the other hand, if he was in Tokyo, all else being equal, I would say that it would be more likely than not that there was no sex involved.

For Singapore, I am no expert at all on anything in Singapore, but from the posts above, there is no clear indication either way it seems.

Sheryl, if you are normally a trusting person, you have to ask yourself why you now have a trust issue.

My recommendation for you would be to join your boyfriend next time he goes. As he goes there every month, sure does seem there will be an opportunity to do so, assuming there is no reason you couldn't, just once, and join him for one of these massages. If he has no problem with this, you should be able to rest a little easier. If he raises objections, and the reasons for refusing are pretty lame, it might be time to let this boyfriend go.

[sherylwang]

Im in Europe.and here massages are not normal,almost my country(mediterranean),actually massages and spas are more common,but before years it was not,we dont have massage culture,and when a man says "im going to take a massage"the meaning is im going to a pub for pay for sex,and here prostitutes dont give massages even they use the word "massage".
But my boyfriend is japanese,i know in japan there are massage culture,they like to go for a massage.
Of course i know some places can give normal massage and others includes an extra service...but here in my country shops close at 8,maybe at 9..but take a massage at 10 or 11 night??i think thats not normal,then i asked if thats normal in singapore,because i dont know...
He said in singapore this places are open 24 hours..
And well...im pregnant,we are going to marriage this year and hope he didnt go for sex and transmit any sicknes to me or our baby

[jfd]

i know in japan there are massage culture,they like to go for a massage.

That is for sure! You can see from my location that I am in Tokyo right now (coming to Singapore very soon!).

To give you an idea of how much Japan is into massage, I went to a newish shopping mall a little while ago, and there were 3 massage places in the one shopping mall! I could state very confidently that none of these would offer sex as an extra. Well, that is Japan, not Singapore. Still having said that, like any country in the world, there are also places to go for prostitution here too.

It seems there is no option for you to join him with you being pregnant. I wish you luck, and hope, for your sake, that he is telling you the truth.

[drachen]

sherylwang...

sorry to hear that... i am an avid fan of spas and massages in singapore and have to agree with one of the previous posters. any decent spa has its final massage appointment at around 8:30/9pm. depending on package, full body massage could last up to 90 minutes but would usually finish by 10/10:15pm.

a leg/foot massage? i doubt that would last more than 60 minutes. 24 hour decent massage places can indeed be found in other parts of asia but unfortunately not in singapore.

[danialgoh]

Why don't you ask him the name of the spa that he visited. Most of us here would know if its a clean or dirty one.

[Bafana]

Hmm, you must frequent a different kind of establishment than I do.

There are some in and around Geylang (not dirty ones either. From memory on Geylang Road between Lor 32 and 34. In Thailand I have had massages at all hours and they have all been above board.

[durain]

Why don't you ask him the name of the spa that he visited. Most of us here would know if its a clean or dirty one.

you must be talking from experience! count me out coz i wouldnt know.

[danialgoh]

You just don't get it do you? I know my country.

[Blue Sapphire]

There are places that are open till late the same way there are 24hrs eating areas here. Places that target people who are outing at night to nightclubs or bars.

These places would offer foot + leg and/or shoulder massages. It would normally just be a room with rows of chairs so you can expect people talking. There is nothing sexual about these places and are decent enough.

Its true that majority of spas close by 9pm, but that would be your typical spa where they do all sorts of body treatments.

For the people that are looking for a decent spa that closes late, try spa esprit's 'house' at dempsey. I saw from their website recently that every thursday they close at 2am!

There are so many bars in Singapore it wouldn't hurt if your bf spends a couple of hours having a drink. Alot of men/women hangout in bars after work here, quite normal. Even non working wives/mothers meetup for drinks.

I know one's imagination can run wild with the unknown. But I dont think you should worry too much about this incident. If a man wants to cheat he can do it under your nose. Look after yourself and dont worry too much. Its important to keep a good frame of mind during pregnancy.