Just found out I'm pregnant

[excited123]

Hi,

I just found out I'm pregnant (about 7 weeks or so). I'm 28 and this is my first. My husband and I are new to Singapore... so really confused

Have a bunch of questions for you girls out there:
1. Would you know of any support groups or councellors out there? Basically, anyone that can handhold and guide us through the process.
2. How would you choose which hospital to go to? Any reccomended ones for expats?
3. I believe the whole thing is an expensive process here and is not covered through the insurance we have (I'm quite surprised... but hey, theer are bigger things to be surprised about ) Though we really won't have an issue managing the costs... just wondering what we should expect and if there are any schemes/packages/support-structes out there?
4. Are there any books and DVDs we should be checking out to come up to speed (except for the obvious "What to expect...").
5. Anything else we should be doing to be better prepared?

Finally, what do you guys say... when's teh best time for me to let my parents and family know? They say things are risky in the first few weeks... but just wanted to know what you guys out there are doing?

Thanks and best of luck for whoever is on the same boat !! hugs !!

[quidsin]

Hi,

I just found out I'm pregnant (about 7 weeks or so). I'm 28 and this is my first. My husband and I are new to Singapore... so really confused

Have a bunch of questions for you girls out there:
1. Would you know of any support groups or councellors out there? Basically, anyone that can handhold and guide us through the process.

you need to speak to shrink because you're going to have a baby? get a grip, if you think you need one now then may as well employ them for the next 21yrs cos I can assure you that those years will be much tougher than the next 9 months...

[amiee40]

thats a bit mean. I think the OP meant that she would like to join mother's group and whoever can guide her through the confusion process and changes that is going to happen to her body. It is a bit scary for someone in a new country and without her close female friends to guide her through the process.

Sorry, i can't help you as i had both of my babies overseas.

In terms of books and DVDs, i used Dunstan baby language and also baby sign language. But these are for after the birth etc. In preparation for the birth, i only read 'What to expect when you are expecting'.

[smayrhofer]

you need to speak to shrink because you're going to have a baby? get a grip, if you think you need one now then may as well employ them for the next 21yrs cos I can assure you that those years will be much tougher than the next 9 months...

That was really uncalled for, quidsin. Support groups are a great thing when you are faced with something new in your life. Having a baby is a huge step, and any advice/support you can get is great. You have no idea what to expect, no idea how anything works. I'm expecting my first, too, and I need all the help/support I can get!

1. Would you know of any support groups or councellors out there?Basically, anyone that can handhold and guide us through the process.

Mother and Child at Tangling Mall is a great place to meet other mums-to-be, though you can only start joining their classes in the 2nd trimester. You'll start meeting a lot more preggo pple then!

2. How would you choose which hospital to go to? Any reccomended ones for expats?

There are a lot of good ones. I did a lot of research when I first got pregnant and ultimately decided on Thomson Medical Center. They come highly recommended. I'm with T.C. Chang and loving it. I have heard of others using Mount E or KK and perfectly happy there, too.

3. I believe the whole thing is an expensive process here and is not covered through the insurance we have (I'm quite surprised... but hey, theer are bigger things to be surprised about ) Though we really won't have an issue managing the costs... just wondering what we should expect and if there are any schemes/packages/support-structes out there?

I'm not covered by insurance, either. Some doctors offer 'prenatal packages' which will cover all of your checkups until birth. I think these are usually offered after the first trimester. My doctor doesn't offer that, but the costs are very manageable. I pay per visit, $60 - $150 depending on the length of the visit. There are 2 detailed tests for genetic diseases, etc which are both $300-500. I can't remember the exact amounts, but the costs are spread out so not a problem. Delivery is more expensive. I think it's $6-8k depending on the type. Complications get more expensive. NICU is very very expensive.

4. Are there any books and DVDs we should be checking out to come up to speed (except for the obvious "What to expect...").

No idea.

5. Anything else we should be doing to be better prepared?
Take it easy in the first 3 months! During the 2nd trimester you'll be feeling great and have plenty of time to get organised.

Finally, what do you guys say... when's teh best time for me to let my parents and family know? They say things are risky in the first few weeks... but just wanted to know what you guys out there are doing?

I told my immediate family right away, but I waitied until end of first trimester before telling friends and colleagues. You don't want to have to tell everyone about your miscarriage if something happens (god forbid..) Of course, it's very hard to keep secret if you have morning sickness. Or if you drink a lot and are suddenly just drinking water.. (that gave it away for a lot of my friends!) In the end, up to you! But family is good to tell right away since they can then be there to support you...

[SharonAS]

Hi,

Congrats. I'm 36 weeks pregnant so coming to the end of my pregnancy. I'll try and answer a few of your questions going by my experience here.

If you live anywhere near Tanglin Mall it's a spritual home for pregnant ex-pats. There is an organisation there called Mother and Child - www.motherandchild.com.sg. You can do prenatal yoga there from 12 weeks which is a good way of meeting other mothers to be.

For after you have your baby there is a support group called New Mothers Support Group - www.nmsg-singapore.com.

Ex-pats tend to navigate towards Mount Elizabeth, Glen Eagles or Thomson Medical Centre. I'm going to Thomson as we are also self funding and it's the most resonably priced. My gynae is Eunice Chua and I'm very happy with her. My friend also goes there and she sees Paul Tsang - he has an excellent reputation.

Thomson do have a package for first babies but not all the Gynaes participate in the scheme (and you're not going to make massive savings)

Books - What to expect is the general bible. I also bought Mirium Stoppards book as it has lots of photos. For a bit of humour Kaz Cooke's Up the Duff is good too.

I hope this is helpful.

[durain]

congratulation.

since it is your first, enjoy the experience, even if it is into the unknown. your first call would be the doctor. they can refer you and take it from there. you should be no difference to a local having her first baby. having a baby in singapore is a bog standard procedure.

as for letting your parents and family know, just tell them. there isnt a right or wrong time to let them know.

[snowqueen]

Hi, welcome to the world of 'pregnant'! First of all you need to ignore some of the stupid comments and posts you get on here from some unhepful people, they obviously have nothing else better to do.

I'm from the UK and now 30 weeks pregnant. I was 12 weeks when I got here so first port of call was finding a doctor. I did a bit of research before I got here and decided to go to Thomson Medical Centre, mainly because we thought we'd end up at that end of town but we ended up on the East Coast lol.

I turned up at their reception and was handed a 3 page list of doctors and asked the lady which one she recommended, based on the fact that I didn't have much time to shop around and also cost. We also do not have insurance so are paying for everything ourselves.

I'm with Dr Sim Lee Ngor and she's great. I've paid for an antenatal package which cost $700 for so many appointments (I think 10 or 11). You pay for other specialist scans separatley like OSCAR which is the blood test and scans for Downs Syndrom at 12/13 weeks. So far the costs have not been too bad and we are now saving $1000 per month to cover the maternity costs (hospital and Consultant fees when the babs is born).

In terms of books, I have the 'What to Expect When You're Expecting' which is really good and I also used the web allot. I use Bounty.co.uk which is a UK preggers web site which I find good for talking to people who are due in the same month as me.

I go to Mother and Child every Friday for the Pre-natal yoga class (they do the class on other days as well). You won't be able to do this till you hit 12 weeks though.

I'd be happy to give you loads more advice like where to shop for stuff (you can learn from some of my mistakes) if you need it so feel free to PM me however if you are new you may not be able to do that till you've made 5 posts.

Good luck!!

[Forks]

Congratulations on the good news, kids are amazing.

Sure there are some ups and downs but ignore the unhappy posters they are just jealous.

One of the biggest questions you may face is how you want to give birth, doctor, midwife, hospital or at home, etc etc.

other things to note is if you worry about your figure and stretch marks there are creams out there for just such an occasion, when you start to swell start rubbing it on.

Otherwise there is a universe of info out there and with a bit of love and support you will be fine.

Best book i ever read on pregnancy was "Baby and child" by Penelope Leach but there are tons of others, try to get one that suits your philosophy on life (as airy as that sounds) as it will help to confirm your views rather than throw you into more confusion by suggesting others (not that other views are not relevant but its my experience that people tend to go the way their parents did it in most cases).

$$$ is a problem but my kids came via a midwife and there were fine so dont assume you will need a doctor or the most expensive options to do this, people (women mostly) have been doing it since the dawn of time.

[sammyvasa]

Congratulations. Children are the best thing.
I had my two in Australia and see people have answered alot of the relevant Q's for Singapore.

On books, I found that www.babycentre.co.uk was brilliant. You put your due date in and then get a weekly update telling you what to expect and what is happening with bubs. It is also a great resource for questions and has a forum so you can talk to other expectant mums.

When bubs arrives I found that my bible was "The Baby Whisperer" by Tracy Hogg. A MUST READ. She also has a good web site www.babywhisperer.com

Congratulations again and all the best with the pregnancy
S

[docta123]

Hi There,

Congratulations. Thats very exciting!!!

Well everyone else seems to have answered things for you but I would just like to say, ignore 'Quidsin', what a horrible and pointless reply. There are some awful people out there, I really hope you where not upset by that. Hope they have not made you feel silly about needing some support. I moved here in June, just over 9 weeks pregnant, my husband was at work all day, I had no friends and I am from the UK so the eight hour time differnce meant I could not just pick up the phone to my friends or family. I was lonely, sick, tired and trying to cope with the huge change of moving here as well as everything prgnancy brings. All turned out well and my baby is due in 2 weeks now.

Good for you on being so pro active with regards to your pregnancy!!! Rest assured, there are lots of nice people here you can make friends with who will be happy to talk to you about all the confusing 'first time mum' stuff. The snide remarks are just sad so IGNORE!!! If you want a chat, PM me s I am 26 and have made some other pregnant friends now and we meet up for tea and chat about babies.

Good Luck!!

K

[gilaswan]

Congrats!

I never joined a formal support group when I was having my little girl (who's now 13 mths old). In fact, I think I was very relaxed about the entire process. I packed my hospital bag the morning my water bag burst. I don't suggest you do the same, but I guess what I'm saying is that there's really no need to be too anxious about things. The best support is just friends who've been there and can advise you along the way... or even right here on this forum!

I went to Mary Rauff at NUH, and she's really great, but she only delivers at NUH. You might want to consider a gynae that delivers at a hospital near where you are.

And about telling friends, relatives and whoever else is important to you about your coming bundle of joy - anytime! As long as you're comfortable about it. I personally feel that the sooner you tell them, the better, cos if you're like me and morning sickness comes early (and lasts throughout!), you'd want all the support and understanding you can get when you feel not-too-good.

Congrats again!

[docta123]

....I am attending Dr TM Chua at NUH and she is a more mature doctor so been in the business a long time and she is brilliant!!!! I really like her. NUH may not be close to you though.

K

[excited123]

Hey guys,

Thanks so much for all the assurance and information. Its really very comforting to see so many like me out there.

I was quite flustered at first but I guess I am more confident now than I was a week before.

Thanks again for all the links and information... but most importantly for sharing your stories and your experiences.

I unfortunately can't post PMs as yet, coz i am new here... but will definitely do so as soon as I can.

Thanks again.

PS: Please don't bother about the nasty ones. I'm sure they have some frustations and issues they otherwise can't share. If it helps them decompress by finding an outlet on message boards... good for them.

[QRM]

Get the yellow pregnancy for dummies guide for your hubby< seriously it was very handy.

You are in good hands here, I believe Singapore has the lowest infant mortality rates in the world.

Also its an incredibly baby friendly place, as pointed out my toddler today, she notice the raised walkways over the roads have two sets of stair handrails one for grown up and one for toddlers.

[Lein77]

Hi,

Congrats!!! Very exciiting when you first find out!! I moved here in october when i was 12 weeks pregnant, am now 23 weeks along. I am not working so if you want to meet up during the day for a coffee just let me know!

I'm seeing Mary Rauf at NUH and she is great!!

Enjoy!