Definitely not for the prudish amongst us.....

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sundaymorningstaple
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Definitely not for the prudish amongst us.....

Post by sundaymorningstaple » Fri, 19 Dec 2008 12:06 pm

Never assume men understand

A woman was in a coma and had been for months. Nurses were in her room giving her a bed bath. One of them was washing her private area and noticed that there was a slight response on the monitor whenever she touched her there. They tried it again and sure enough, there was definite movement.

They went to her husband and explained what happened, telling him, 'As crazy as this sounds, maybe a little oral sex will do the trick and bring her out of the coma.' The husband was sceptical but they assured him that they would close the curtains for privacy. The husband finally agreed and went into his wife's room. After a few minutes the woman's monitor flat lined, no pulse, no heart rate. The nurses run back into the room.

'What happened!?' they cried.
The husband said, 'I'm not sure; maybe she choked.'


**********************************************************

Is this true!?!?

A woman and her husband are out having a few drinks. While they're sitting there having a good time together, she starts talking about this really great new drink. The more she talks about it, the more excited she gets, and starts trying to talk her husband into having one.

After a while he gives in and lets her order the drink for him. The bartender brings the drink and puts the following items on the bar: A salt shaker, a shot of Baileys, and a shot of lime juice.

The husband looks at the items quizzically and the woman explains.
'First you put a bit of the salt on your tongue, next you drink the shot of Baileys and hold it in your mouth, and finally you drink the lime juice.' So, the husband, trying to go along and please her, goes for it.
He puts the salt on his tongue... salty but OK He drinks the shot of Baileys... smooth, rich, cool, very pleasant. He thinks... this is OK.
Finally he picks up the lime juice and drinks it.

In one second the sharp lime taste hits..

At two seconds the Baileys curdles.

At three seconds the salty, curdled taste & mucous-like consistency hits.

At four seconds it feels as if he has a mouth full of nasty snot. This triggers his gag reflex, but being manly, and not wanting to disappoint his wife, he swallows the now foul tasting drink.

When he finally chokes it down he turns to his wife, and says, 'Jesus, what do you call that drink?'

She smiles widely at him and says 'Head Job Revenge.'
SOME PEOPLE TRY TO TURN BACK THEIR ODOMETERS. NOT ME. I WANT PEOPLE TO KNOW WHY I LOOK THIS WAY. I'VE TRAVELED A LONG WAY, AND SOME OF THE ROADS WEREN'T PAVED. ~ Will Rogers

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blue_thunder
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Post by blue_thunder » Fri, 19 Dec 2008 12:55 pm

I wonder if there is anyone ..so called "prudish" here...lol


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~ I don't want to be a product of my environment, I want my environment to be a product of me

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Post by DimWit Kid » Wed, 24 Dec 2008 1:51 am

Was that true??? The Bailey with lime and salt I mean???

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Post by sundaymorningstaple » Wed, 24 Dec 2008 7:03 am

Try it and let us know if it's true...... :wink:

According to an Aussie gal I know on another board in Aus, they have a local version of it but it's called a "cement mixer" but doesn't use salt.
SOME PEOPLE TRY TO TURN BACK THEIR ODOMETERS. NOT ME. I WANT PEOPLE TO KNOW WHY I LOOK THIS WAY. I'VE TRAVELED A LONG WAY, AND SOME OF THE ROADS WEREN'T PAVED. ~ Will Rogers

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Post by Plavt » Wed, 24 Dec 2008 7:06 am

sundaymorningstaple wrote: According to an Aussie gal I know on another board in Aus,

:shock: ............... [-X

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Post by sundaymorningstaple » Wed, 24 Dec 2008 10:25 am

And what is wrong with that? The fact that I have a presence on other boards in Aus. or the fact that the girl in Aus is Aussie? #-o :???:
SOME PEOPLE TRY TO TURN BACK THEIR ODOMETERS. NOT ME. I WANT PEOPLE TO KNOW WHY I LOOK THIS WAY. I'VE TRAVELED A LONG WAY, AND SOME OF THE ROADS WEREN'T PAVED. ~ Will Rogers

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Post by DimWit Kid » Wed, 24 Dec 2008 10:32 pm

sundaymorningstaple wrote:And what is wrong with that? The fact that I have a presence on other boards in Aus. or the fact that the girl in Aus is Aussie? #-o :???:
The fact that you talk to a GIRL about such stuff mate! :P
Was that also for the same reason as the story you posted?? :mrgreen:

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Post by Plavt » Thu, 25 Dec 2008 3:52 am

You got it DWK, I think the old fart's losing it...oops. :P :lol: :mrgreen:

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Post by sundaymorningstaple » Thu, 25 Dec 2008 3:29 pm

Actually, no. Another girl on the same site posted it. The one I referred to then piped up with that little bit of 'extra' data. I reckon only they and/or the folk over at fridae.com can confirm it. I sure can't! :tongue:
SOME PEOPLE TRY TO TURN BACK THEIR ODOMETERS. NOT ME. I WANT PEOPLE TO KNOW WHY I LOOK THIS WAY. I'VE TRAVELED A LONG WAY, AND SOME OF THE ROADS WEREN'T PAVED. ~ Will Rogers

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Post by LordBuff » Mon, 29 Dec 2008 4:24 pm

and the cement mixer is just a disguting drink. Of course, this does make me try to remember why a girl bought tme one once

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Post by sundaymorningstaple » Mon, 29 Dec 2008 4:38 pm

"this does make me try to remember why a girl bought tme one once"

Fair dinkum maybe? :wink:
SOME PEOPLE TRY TO TURN BACK THEIR ODOMETERS. NOT ME. I WANT PEOPLE TO KNOW WHY I LOOK THIS WAY. I'VE TRAVELED A LONG WAY, AND SOME OF THE ROADS WEREN'T PAVED. ~ Will Rogers

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Post by LordBuff » Mon, 29 Dec 2008 4:52 pm

of course, but as I get older I get more cynical and paranoid. Give me a couple of years and I will start beleiving there is a conspiracy to rob me of precious minutes of my life but making me ride on escalators by blocking the right-hand side

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