Never assume men understand
A woman was in a coma and had been for months. Nurses were in her room giving her a bed bath. One of them was washing her private area and noticed that there was a slight response on the monitor whenever she touched her there. They tried it again and sure enough, there was definite movement.
They went to her husband and explained what happened, telling him, 'As crazy as this sounds, maybe a little oral sex will do the trick and bring her out of the coma.' The husband was sceptical but they assured him that they would close the curtains for privacy. The husband finally agreed and went into his wife's room. After a few minutes the woman's monitor flat lined, no pulse, no heart rate. The nurses run back into the room.
'What happened!?' they cried.
The husband said, 'I'm not sure; maybe she choked.'
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Is this true!?!?
A woman and her husband are out having a few drinks. While they're sitting there having a good time together, she starts talking about this really great new drink. The more she talks about it, the more excited she gets, and starts trying to talk her husband into having one.
After a while he gives in and lets her order the drink for him. The bartender brings the drink and puts the following items on the bar: A salt shaker, a shot of Baileys, and a shot of lime juice.
The husband looks at the items quizzically and the woman explains.
'First you put a bit of the salt on your tongue, next you drink the shot of Baileys and hold it in your mouth, and finally you drink the lime juice.' So, the husband, trying to go along and please her, goes for it.
He puts the salt on his tongue... salty but OK He drinks the shot of Baileys... smooth, rich, cool, very pleasant. He thinks... this is OK.
Finally he picks up the lime juice and drinks it.
In one second the sharp lime taste hits..
At two seconds the Baileys curdles.
At three seconds the salty, curdled taste & mucous-like consistency hits.
At four seconds it feels as if he has a mouth full of nasty snot. This triggers his gag reflex, but being manly, and not wanting to disappoint his wife, he swallows the now foul tasting drink.
When he finally chokes it down he turns to his wife, and says, 'Jesus, what do you call that drink?'
She smiles widely at him and says 'Head Job Revenge.'
............... 
