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I want to leave my husband and go home with my kids.

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I want to leave my husband and go home with my kids.

Postby stinger » Mon, 17 Nov 2008 9:46 pm

My husband and I and our two young children have been in Singapore for nearly 4 years. Our marrige is not good and we have tried every possilbe avenue to repair it. I now want to leave and go back to Australia with my children. Can anyone recommend a fantastic lawyer in Singapore and Brisbane that is knowledgable on international laws? :(

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Postby Bafana » Tue, 18 Nov 2008 9:50 am

Try Crossbows - They are very good with this sort of thing.

Look them up in the phone book or online.
Be Like Water

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singapore expat magazine

Postby pakjohn » Tue, 18 Nov 2008 10:36 am

Extremely sorry to hear this news...

Latest issue has an article on expat divorce with what looks to be several good resources for an expat wife.

good luck

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Postby road.not.taken » Tue, 18 Nov 2008 10:57 am

Good luck to you Stinger, it won't be easy. Try the Australian High Comm for a recommendation.

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Postby carolynW » Tue, 18 Nov 2008 12:24 pm

I had a friend that checked out divorce before she got married! the basic advice the singapore lawyer gave was that the law applicable is based on where you guys lived for the last few years, so it looks like for you its singapore and spore law is friendly to the mother and wife.

She used someone at Khattar Wong. I think if you call and get a meeting, the first prelim one is free too. Sorry i don't have a name.

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Postby waz » Tue, 18 Nov 2008 4:06 pm

I do apologise if I sound naive.

If you want to go back to your country (with your kids), why not just go?
Sort it out when you back home in Oz. At least you are already "home".
Rather than try to figure out the law on both side. Unless of course there is property etc involved.

Good luck.

But frankly have you tried to work it out. I am sure it is worth every effort to keep the marriage and also for the sake of the kids. Unless of course there is third party involved.
I work to live and not live to work.

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Postby Melasony » Tue, 18 Nov 2008 7:44 pm

Couldn't you somehow get your husband to move back with you to Australia before talking about divorce?
I would think if you get a divorce here in singapore,
after the added stress of getting seperated, you'd probably have to face going back to australia, finding a new home for your kids and you, getting them settled down and handle their new home jitters. Under normal circumstances a lot of women might crumble under the pressure.

moving back to australia to get your kids settled down ( since they're the one most affected ) and slowly mind the problems between your husband and you, wouldn't that seem like a better idea? mainly for the children's sake and your own sanity in my opinion.

have you talked to him about what you wanted/contemplated? raised the possibility of going back to australia with/without him?what was his reply?

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Postby k1w1 » Tue, 18 Nov 2008 8:19 pm

I went through this myself just over a year ago. The best advice I can give you is to try not to let other people's comments and assumptions get to you. There are no expat support groups here for this, and it's a very tough road you're about to walk.

Wherever children are involved, Singapore law favours the children (and rightly so, of course). However, you can only get divorced here if you blame someone - no such thing as "irreconcilable differences". This, of course, automatically brings the claws out... The grounds for divorce are:

1. Adultery (which needs to be proved or admitted to)
2. Unreasonable behaviour
3. Abandonment - more than two years
4. Separation of three years (with consent of both parties to file for divorce)
5. Separation of four years (consent not needed)

You can, however, file a separation deed - which is different again.

Sorry to hear about this - there seems to be an epidemic lately.

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Postby dingsea » Tue, 25 Nov 2008 1:28 am

do think twice.......

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Postby ksl » Tue, 25 Nov 2008 2:23 pm

Really sad, shame you cannot both eat your pride, and get along with each other, for better or worse and all that crap....the grass is never greener on the other side, just the same old story, recycling! I don't love him/her anymore......crikey I must have said that every weekend for the past 25 years of my divorced life, I had a date for the weekends and sent them packing on the Sunday.

Now that i remarried, I look back and think what did i do to get married again, I can only think of one thing, I made another commitment! Although it wasn't me who divorced in the first place.... You should both be a little more rational and give each other some space, try some counselling, it may help. It's always a rough road with two seperate paths, because two individuals are involved, keep it that way.............and enjoy your lives.

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Postby Forks » Tue, 25 Nov 2008 9:46 pm

I often wonder why people would post about such a serious thing on an online forum asking for advice from complete strangers,but I digress...

Whatever you do dont just think about this from your point of view,if you have kids then how will they feel being separated from one of their parents? You are divorcing but they are not.

Good luck either way.
Poking, poking everywhere...

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