Live in maids

[Capex101]

Relocating to Singapore January 1 2009. After a bit of research it seems pretty starightforward to get a full time maid - but it also seems that sometines you get it right the first time - and sometimes you dont. What I would appreciate is:

1. Advice - how to get it right the first time
2. Anyone with a trustged/good maid that is relocating out of Singapore near the same time - and would like to "help" their maid find a new employer please reply. No agencies please......

[taxico]

1. Advice - how to get it right the first time

go get a magic crystal ball from the ringling brothers and gather a magic circle of 8 close friends to perform the special "bwanabosotki" afterwhich the smoke will disappear to show you the picture of the ideal house help.

I'M SORRY, THERE'S NO ADVICE. these days they are deceiving deceivers and you won't know until IT'S TOO LATE!

a good house help may not be good in the wrong family. sorry, luck of the draw. they need cell phones, they need off days. but don't be too nice to them either or they'll take advantage of you.

and if you change house helps too many times, i think there's a black list which prevents you from being eligible to one after a certain count is exceeded.

i can only hope you're religious.

[road.not.taken]

Like electing a President, it's a gut reaction

No seriously, you are already doing the right thing by trying to find someone who is leaving a family that loves her. Ask lots and lots of questions, and even more questions. And please, think it over - it's a big responsibility, do you really need/want a maid?

[PhoenixT]

Referrals, obviously, are the best route to go. Barring that, as with any employer/candidate interview, you need to know what you want from a helper and set clear expectations at the beginning.

The helper will try and answer with what you want to hear so probe deeper if you think she's giving you 'text-book' responses. For example, if you want one of her responsibilities is to cook - she'll tell you yes, she knows how. Ask her for specific dishes and how she prepares. Ask her how she learns new recipes. Give her a short list of common ingredients you like in your food and ask her to describe the look, taste, smell of that ingredient.

Ask scenerio-based questions - "What would you do if there was a grease fire in the kitchen?" "If another child hits my child, or vice versa, what would you do and say to the children?"

Ask her what she is hoping for in her next employer - how she wants to be treated, what things are provided for her. Many will say "to be treated as a family member" -- again probe as to what this looks like and how this manifests everyday. Does she want to eat with the family? Does she expect them to give her a phone/ TV/ etc.?

If possible, give her a try for a week or two - though at this point she'll be on her best behavior, at least you'll know if she gets on with your family personality-wise.

good luck

[sim1310]

It all comes down to luck I'm afraid. I am in the middle of one big mess with my helper who started 5 1/2 weeks ago. She looked great on paper, had 12 year experience in Singapore and abroad with 2 expat families. Bar myself and her last employer she worked the full length of her contracts. Could cook clean good English all the bells and whistle, had experience with young children and a midwife graduate, which I was impressed with as at the time of interviewing maids we were trying for our 3rd child.
Before working for us she was with a family for 6 months and claimed she wanted a transfer because she was being verbally abused by the wife. I believed her and was impressed by her interview and her grasp of English. May I add that every maid I interviewed I specifically told them that we planned on having another baby.
We welcomed her into our home with open arms, gave her a decorated room and radio. If she didn’t like what we were eating she was very welcome to make something she would prefer, freedom to go out and under no circumstances was she to do anything around the house on her days off (every Sunday). The first 3 weeks everything was peachy, we ate all together I asked her weekly how she was settling in if she had any questions or issues. We worked on a cleaning schedule for her that she said she was happy with. The girls (3 &1) were my responsibility and I only left them once in her care when i had to go to the store for 1 hour.
Two weeks ago she became really moody and walked around sulking most the time. I ask if there was anything wrong that she would like talk about but she said no I am fine. Then on Tuesday my husband went on a 5 day business trip and so she took that opportunity to turn into a complete raving lunatic. She wasn’t doing any work and I sat her down and said we had to talk about this because I felt the situation was deteriorating. She accuse me of tricking her into working her and that she was not happy another baby was coming along and that I intentionally kept my pregnancy from her during the interview. I fell pregnant 2 weeks after the interview. When I explained she was mistaken she then said she is overworked. I told her that if she wasn’t happy we could go to the agency on Sunday and she could get a transfer if she feels that bad. Then she announced that she wanted to back to the Philippines for a while and then find a different employer in a couple of months and if I didn’t agree she would report me to MOM for verbally abusing her.
She then changed her mind and said her sister will pay for her ticket and that she is leaving this Sunday. Then she change her mind again and said I should pay. Completely fed up with the demands I told her she had 2 choices, her sister pays for her to go this Sunday or I pay for her Sunday week on Luftansa which stops in 3 different South-East Asian cities with 6 hour layovers in each which will her having travelling for a day and a half.
Good luck!!

[AruS]

Hi how does one get a maid to come part time and clean and cook etc. I dont want a live in maid. any agencies I can contact please help, I am fed up of doing household chores

[pakjohn]

Just my two cents; we don't have a live in maid despite having full quarters in our flat simply due to the aggravation involved. That, and we really don't need one.

We have a walk in service done twice a week for a fraction of the cost and do everything else ourselves. Highly recommend starting with a walk in service till you find someone leaving a good thing. (even then there are no guarantees you won't have issues.)