we

[k1w1]

please do remember that there are also those of us that come over to support our wives.

Mr. P

Absolutely, men in the "trailing spouse" position seem to be increasing actually. I also know there are also a LOT of wives who are nothing like the vile cretins I was describing above. But we've all met one or two, I'm sure.

[sierra2469alpha]

Well I am not a trailing spouse - I came over to support my wife in what was a better opportunity for her. I was simply suggesting that you might want to consider your assumptions, here and there

[road.not.taken]

And I hope to hell I never get used to the pushing. Living in DC for years, you'd NEVER expect someone behind you to barge infront like they own the Metro. I was shocked when my 6 yr old rushed onto the elevator the other day. I said loudly--so everyone could here me--Get back here and wait your turn. Don't be so Kiasu! I think I struck them dumb. Of course my kid said sorry to the people getting off. But so shocking the acculturation can happen so quickly.

I don't think it's our job as expats to educate the local population on how to use a lift. This is an example of expat expectations run wild.

[road.not.taken]

Well I am not a trailing spouse - I came over to support my wife in what was a better opportunity for her.

Isn't that what a trailing spouse is?

Just what is 'trailer trash?'

A derogatory term for those of feeble minds, mate. Think of all those silly cable TV shows that I watch all the time - larger people with not a huge amount of intelligence or self-perpetuating longevity.

Trailer Trash, according to the Urban Dictionary is a derogatory description for person who seems well-suited to residential life in a mobile home park and is distinguished by poor hygiene, foul language, slovenly or slutty clothing, and general ignorance.

Feeble-mindedness and ignorance aren't the same thing. I think you're way off on that one.

While I DO enjoy living here (most of the time - nothing is perfect, after all), I resent the assumption that I simply live here because I couldn't hack (an apparently God-awful) life that awaits me at home. I, like most expats, do not come from the back-waters of hell. I am not here purely because I have a white face. My employment pass application (like EVERY other applicant) requires my employer to prove my job cannot be filled locally. I do not resent this - actually, I applaud it. I did not simply buy my degrees from my university - I had to work for them. This is another assumption that gets right under my skin: I did not simply turn up to school and paint pictures and eat my lunch for twelve years. My education was demanding in an entirely different way. Having long examinations from an early age does not mean a person's education was better or harder.

How many people, really, do you know that are EMPLOYED here, and are here purely by luck?

Luck? LUCK?? My God, the idea that luck got us here and keeps us here is not only insulting but so far removed from reality as to be sad really. Luck, as with everything, might have played a minor role, but the ones who got here mostly on luck washed up before their first contract was fulfilled. It takes so much more than luck to be successful here.

[sundaymorningstaple]

I can't believe anybody would use the "Urban Dictionary" as as point of reference unless it was to be a throwaway line or joke. (Granted it is a perception but only applied by members who 'think' they are the 'upper class'. It certainly is not the perception used by the vast middle class.)

Basically, Trailer Park Trash is a term that is commonly, if erroneously, applied by certain members of the public (those who were born with silver spoons in their mouths or, at the least, their parents were) to another less advantaged group. It is often interchangeable with the term redneck as trailer parks were more visible in the southern states in the days when they first started to dot the landscape.

Trailer Parks were a way for the less educated to own their own homes for thousands of dollars and not 10's of thousands of dollars. They parked (another misnomer) these behemoths, some of which were 80 feet long or more, in lot's where they paid ground rent and had sewage, power and water facilities to the lots put in by the park owner. They became small communities. Unfortunately, but perhaps expected, they were lower educated and smaller earning taxpayers so tended to be a colorful mixed bag of people from the "underbelly or working class" as opposed to the higher educated who gave them the nickname.

Today, like the word 'redneck' it's almost a badge of honor. Some of the Doublewide trailers seen today would rival a lot of middle class homes at a lot less cost. Unfortunately, when over here in expat land, it's the trailing spouses who tend to like to portray themselves as having the same living style back home as they do here. Anecdotal evidence does not seem to support this on a wide scale, although admittedly they do exist, especially among those who spouses are in the Financial Industries (that may well be changing and they may well be joining the ranks of "trailer trash" when the current shakeout is finished).

Often, I have to wonder at their "original" backgrounds. I wonder how many of them actually married above their stations the way they devoutly protect their 'current' positions. it's like they are afraid of returning to their 'past'. That's one that is practiced here in Asia all the time.

The term 'Trailer Park Trash' or 'redneck' in the US today is more like the term Ang Mo here. It's early usage was derogatory in usage but today is a tolerated, even if un-PC term that can be cutting or friendly depending on how & when it's used and between different segments of the population.

As a farmboy, some might/do class me in the same lot. Fair enough, it really doesn't bother me. I don't have the education that most here have. I, like most of the underclass, had to "work" for everything. Maybe having to work for it makes me appreciate it more. However, perception and net worth are two different things aren't they.

Did I get here by luck? Yeah, you could say that. Thanks to all the "highfliers" back in the early '80s causing the US Oil Embargo, and shutting down most Oil Production in the US provided me an opportunity that I jumped on. Thanks Highfliers for providing me the "luck". But, like anybody, I tried to make the luck work for me. Luck can also mean when one marries the right person who is able to give you the lifestyle that you 'think' you deserve. Without that person to pull you along it could be an entirely different journey. So, if you are not the one who is providing the opportunity, then you can thank your lucky stars that you were lucky enough to seduce or be seduced by that spouse in the first place!


Does that make me less a person? Nah. At least I don't have to put on airs like some do (even on this board). What you see is what you get. I'm real. Abrasive? Yes. Honest? Yes. Able to butcher the English language? Most definitely. But when you scratch the surface, I'm still the same underneath as well. (which is both good and bad as my wife will attest!)

Nobody knows what fate may present in a slightly different set of circumstances. To believe you would be in the same place if things had started differently is rather naive from my way of thinking. Karma? Nah.

[sierra2469alpha]

R.N.T - no, my understanding of a trailing spouse is one who goes to the posting but then doesn't work? Or am I mistaken?

I don't actually mind what I get called, as long as it's not late for dinner.

Also, my definition of "TPT" was brief and not intended to be be selected for publication in the annals of an encyclopedia - I was framing in reference to crappy cable TV shows.

Cheers, Mr. P

[edit: correction]

[road.not.taken]

R.N.T - no, my understanding of a trailing spouse is one who goes to the posting but then doesn't work? Or am I mistaken?

I think you might be mistaken. The way it is used in the circles I travel, a trailing spouse can work. It was just not their job that brought them to the posting. I am considered a trailing spouses and I have had jobs here.

I can't believe anybody would use the "Urban Dictionary" as as point of reference unless it was to be a throwaway line or joke. (Granted it is a perception but only applied by members who 'think' they are the 'upper class'. It certainly is not the perception used by the vast middle class.)

Why not? Didn't you think it was an acurate current description? Also, is it at all possible you might be refering to it's meaning from 25 years ago or so? Your post does sound a tad old-fashioned with all your talk about marrying above one's station and all...

[sierra2469alpha]

R.N.T - thanks for the correction - I'll look into it.

[sundaymorningstaple]

Nope, I think it's you who is out of touch.

[road.not.taken]

Nope, I think it's you who is out of touch.

Why?

Oh yeah, I almost forgot:

[sierra2469alpha]

R.N.T - no, my understanding of a trailing spouse is one who goes to the posting but then doesn't work? Or am I mistaken?

I think you might be mistaken. The way it is used in the circles I travel, a trailing spouse can work. It was just not their job that brought them to the posting. I am considered a trailing spouses and I have had jobs here.
--snip--

Sure, I don't mind being told I am mistaken, I asked if I was, however I do mind being misquoted.

With some, there is humility; with others, there is, well, nothing really"

[road.not.taken]

R.N.T - no, my understanding of a trailing spouse is one who goes to the posting but then doesn't work? Or am I mistaken?

I think you might be mistaken. The way it is used in the circles I travel, a trailing spouse can work. It was just not their job that brought them to the posting. I am considered a trailing spouses and I have had jobs here.
--snip--

Sure, I don't mind being told I am mistaken, I asked if I was, however I do mind being misquoted.

With some, there is humility; with others, there is, well, nothing really"

I'm sorry -- I don't follow. Who are you quoting?

[sierra2469alpha]

It says Quote - so I guess myself.

[boffenl]

Hi K1w1,

I think we are probably totally in sync about the "hideous wives" that are here. Too bad for me they seem to be everywhere when locals deal with expats.

My luck comment really did mean that some folks "lucked" into the expat experience they now enjoy and are so ensconced that they won't leave--or find it really, really difficult to give up the ease of their current situation. Yes, I know there are many others who have been here for (excuse the local term) donkey years and don't enjoy those AMAZING expat benefits.

I'm on a local package (working, not luck--or maybe some of each?), and enjoy learning about Singapore and her neighbors, but never do I admit that I'll settle here. For in fact, it would be settling.

[QRM]

The term 'Trailer Park Trash' or 'redneck' in the US today is more like the term Ang Mo here.

The UK equivalent is called a Chav normally recognized by a lot of fake Burberry clothing, chunky gold bracelets, necklace and gold sovereign rings. Like rednecks being called a Chav is almost the holy grail among the yuth, and a real badge of honour is being served an ASBO (anti-social behaviour orders) what was suppose to be a form of punishment has now become an urban medal.

Trailer trash is the US equivalent of the UK council estate trash. In Singapore there is no stigma attached to government housing where as in the UK it is generally seen as the bastion of chavs and spongers.

Which brings us nicely back to staying and living in Singapore, I would happily walk through a government housing estate here, but would avoid some inner city estates in London.