So many questions

[tybriss]

My hubby is discussing moving us to sing with his job. Well, I'm three months pregnant and we think they'd like us there asap which means having the baby there. I have more questions than answers right now!

For instance, I will have a newborn and a 2 yr old to haul around. How can I do that with no car? Do I need a carseat per child in taxis or on the bus? No carseat? How do you moms with two or more little ones get around?

Also, is homeschooling allowed in singapore? We might love it over there and want to stay into my oldest's first schoolyears. We had planned to homeschool him in the states before we found out about this job.

Also, I'm a walmart shopper and a big bargain shopper. What kind of stores do they have over there? Are there any of the big chain stores there that I'm used to? I've read that there's a Toys R Us which will be reall helpful with a new born. I'm gonna miss Target!!

Sorry this got so long but it's such a huge decision! Thanks for any input.

[tybriss]

16 views and no repiles yet! LOL

No mommies out there with some advice? Anything would be appreciated. Anything

[durain]

ok, here's a reply then...

My hubby is discussing moving us to sing with his job. Well, I'm three months pregnant and we think they'd like us there asap which means having the baby there. I have more questions than answers right now!

For instance, I will have a newborn and a 2 yr old to haul around. How can I do that with no car? Do I need a carseat per child in taxis or on the bus? No carseat? How do you moms with two or more little ones get around?

not common to have carseat on taxi or bus. i definitely havent seen it on the bus. i have no car and i haul along 2 kids on public transport or walk. just have to get use and adapt to it. majority of people in singapore dont have a car. all depends if you can cope with it.

Also, is homeschooling allowed in singapore? We might love it over there and want to stay into my oldest's first schoolyears. We had planned to homeschool him in the states before we found out about this job.

not sure about home schooling but there are lots of International Schools in singapore.

Also, I'm a walmart shopper and a big bargain shopper. What kind of stores do they have over there? Are there any of the big chain stores there that I'm used to? I've read that there's a Toys R Us which will be reall helpful with a new born. I'm gonna miss Target!!

you get toys r us, some japanese departmental stores. i guessed the local version of walmart is GIANT. others are carrefour (french), M&S (british), etc. there are lots and lots of small independent shops/stores, so definitely a haven for you to haggle and look for bargain! you get the usual end of year and mid year sales too from big departmental stores.

Sorry this got so long but it's such a huge decision! Thanks for any input.

p/s i am a dad.

[road.not.taken]

Hi Tybriss:

Singapore is an excellent place to raise young children because:

Help is cheap, commonplace and widely available.

Heath care is fantastic. They definitely do not boot you out of the hospital after having a baby in 24 hours

It is a very, very safe place to raise little ones.

There are excellent education opportunities

Best way to haul the wee ones around is in your own car. It'll be years before you're out of the car seat phase and this is a concept that unfortunately is not taken seriously in Singapore. From an American perspective what goes on here in that regard is appalling. If you can not afford a car, then you'll have to resign yourself that the kids won't be in car seats on public transportation. If you hire a maid, you won't have to take them with you all the time (one reason maids are so popular here, it's easy to throw them into the car and run to the store in the US -- not so here, especially when you have to go to 4 stores to find angel food cake mix.)

There are lots of people who homeschool, not to worry.

Wal-Mart? Oh for shame OK, I do know there are actually people who shop at Wal-Mart, but most won't admit to it or do so reluctantly. My position has always been anti big chain store. Now with my lecture out of the way, I can tell you there is Carrefour and a few other mega-stores, but very little of the Wal-Mart mentality here. Lots of Moms & Pops still around (thank goodness!). If you think you'll be unhappy without a Costco or Sam's and paying huge premiums for familiar American products, you may find shopping very frustrating here.

In regard to durain's comments: no offense but Singapore sales are a joke, they actually make up signs in stores to highlight when a product is 3% discounted. Marks & Sparks is nothing at all like Wal-Mart.

[realthomo]

Hi Tybriss:

Singapore is an excellent place to raise young children because:

Help is cheap, commonplace and widely available.

Heath care is fantastic. They definitely do not boot you out of the hospital after having a baby in 24 hours

It is a very, very safe place to raise little ones.

There are excellent education opportunities

Best way to haul the wee ones around is in your own car. It'll be years before you're out of the car seat phase and this is a concept that unfortunately is not taken seriously in Singapore. From an American perspective what goes on here in that regard is appalling. If you can not afford a car, then you'll have to resign yourself that the kids won't be in car seats on public transportation. If you hire a maid, you won't have to take them with you all the time (one reason maids are so popular here, it's easy to throw them into the car and run to the store in the US -- not so here, especially when you have to go to 4 stores to find angel food cake mix.)

There are lots of people who homeschool, not to worry.

Wal-Mart? Oh for shame OK, I do know there are actually people who shop at Wal-Mart, but most won't admit to it or do so reluctantly. My position has always been anti big chain store. Now with my lecture out of the way, I can tell you there is Carrefour and a few other mega-stores, but very little of the Wal-Mart mentality here. Lots of Moms & Pops still around (thank goodness!). If you think you'll be unhappy without a Costco or Sam's and paying huge premiums for familiar American products, you may find shopping very frustrating here.

In regard to durain's comments: no offense but Singapore sales are a joke, they actually make up signs in stores to highlight when a product is 3% discounted. Marks & Sparks is nothing at all like Wal-Mart.

I agree with everything PP has said. We have a car, I wouldn't be without one. Especially since drivers in this country leave a lot to be desired (and that goes for taxi drivers most of all) and I would not want to have my kids in a taxi, unrestrained, if something were to happen. A car also gives you so much freedom, and parking is exceptionally cheap. Petrol is pricey, but no pricier than other countries. Car prices are expensive, but you won't need a large car so it should be okay.

I have had all my babies overseas. My son was born in Tokyo (and I would never ever repeat that experience ever again - Tokyo is a terrible place to have a baby), but my daughters have all been born here. I had my first at KK, which is a local hospital, and my second was born at Raffles. Raffles was amazing!! I know many expat women go to MT Elizabeth, but Raffles is so much better! I have had wonderful birth experiences here in Singapore - I would highly recommend it!

As for schooling, I am sure that others homeschool. I think homeschooling must be an american thing, as it doesn't seem to be done much in Australia (where I'm from) or the UK (where we are moving). That said, there are wonderful schools here for young kids. I have put all my kids through WhiteLodge, which is one of the more well-known nursery schools, and they have been nothing short of wonderful.

Just be prepared for the heat and humidity - it can knock you for six! It might seem nice for a while, but soon you will be craving the seasons (at least I was).

Lastly, I hate shopping here. I miss the shops from Australia, hence why I am excited to be moving to the UK. I have become the queen of online shopping. Things here are so expensive, especially kids clothes. I like good quality clothes - they come at a premium here. Buy up lots of summer clothes before you come over so you have a nice stockpile.

All in all, Singapore is a fairly easy place to live. We have two maids (we have a very sick son, hence why we have two) and one of them has been amazing. The other one, not so much, but that is another story. If you hire a maid, take your time to find one and don't rush in. You will find someone really good and suitable for your family if you take your time. Our first helper has been with us for 3 years and is part of our family. We love her, and she loves our kids like her own. It is a good business/family arrangement. In fact, we are taking her to the UK with us - she is very excited. Once again, that's another story and I don't want to hijack your thread.

Anyway, good luck. I hope it all goes well with the move. IF you need to know anything else, do not hesitate to ask me.

[pixel8]

A car of course is the best. But otherwise, a cab, but then again, with the high costs now, maybe to consider a car in long run. Cab service has efficient booking systems, for avoiding queues. As for buses and trains, it depends on the schedule. At peak hours or weekends, good luck.

As for baby friendliness, there are places where you need to struggle with stairs and crowds eg. orchard. Baby rooms are available at most japanese dept.stores.

Shopping - for bargains what nots, hypermarkets should be your best bet.

Overall, singapore is a safe place, no need to leash your kids etc.

My hubby is discussing moving us to sing with his job. Well, I'm three months pregnant and we think they'd like us there asap which means having the baby there. I have more questions than answers right now!

For instance, I will have a newborn and a 2 yr old to haul around. How can I do that with no car? Do I need a carseat per child in taxis or on the bus? No carseat? How do you moms with two or more little ones get around?

Also, is homeschooling allowed in singapore? We might love it over there and want to stay into my oldest's first schoolyears. We had planned to homeschool him in the states before we found out about this job.

Also, I'm a walmart shopper and a big bargain shopper. What kind of stores do they have over there? Are there any of the big chain stores there that I'm used to? I've read that there's a Toys R Us which will be reall helpful with a new born. I'm gonna miss Target!!

Sorry this got so long but it's such a huge decision! Thanks for any input.

[boffenl]

Hi Tybriss,

So wonderful to meet another unabashed American bargain hunter (we were in Indiana before moving here--originally from Baltimore area). I actually miss Goodwill! Let me tell you up front you will be incredibly frustrated by shopping here. The mega stores here are crap--nothing compared to the ease, variety and JOY of shopping at Wal-Mart or Target. When I went back to the States in June I almost cried when I entered Target for the first time in over a year. At Wal-Mart I just wanted to lay in the aisle and soak it up--everything was so CHEAP!! I loaded up on everything from flipflops ($1) to underwear and shirts to drink mix. We've transitioned our daughter to most things local--especially as she goes to local school. KoolAid is now a very big treat in our house, as is Hershey's syrup.

Yes, Singapore is very family friendly. My daughter was 5 when we arrived. Be prepared for people to want to touch your children and maybe hold them too. Singaporeans are incredibly friendly people. We love that part of the culture and society.

I have a very different mindset than others on this thread. We don't have a maid nor will we ever have one. People here treat maids incredibly poorly (and yes, that is an understatement). It goes against everything we know and understand about human decency being Americans who fought a war against slavery. We do have a great Singaporean woman who comes once a month to help clean the apartment. Why have a kid if you can't take care of it?

Anyway, don't be fooled by people saying cars are expensive--they are FREAKING CRAZY EXPENSIVE!!!! Yes, parking is cheaper, but cars are so FREAKING EXPENSIVE. I lived off taxis for the better part of a year before getting the hang of the bus system. I cna't imagine having small people and taking more thna one on a bus--much less three! Holy mackeral. Just make sure you negotiate for a car in the "package". At least $1,000 USD for petrol, parking and a lease/buy package. We're taking the bus and MRT.

I'd be happy to answer any other questions. We came here for my job, and my husband has found lots of interesting business ventures to keep himself busy. Let me know if you have any other specific concerns.

[aussiemeg]

Hi there

I have 2 and a half year old twins and we manage without a car a lot. We catch cabs which the children love even and will automatically put on their adult seatbelts (which whilst not ideal works) with a newborn you can easily hook in the maxi cosi car seat.

Yes homeschooling is allowed and quite popular. This amy be of interest
http://homeschooling.about.com/gi/dynam ... ngaporehg/

My US friends here who liked bargain shopping hit Giant and Carrefour who send ther catalogue weekly but also love the local markets and odd shops arund the place

As for having a baby I personally would go with either KK or NUH. These are public hospitals that have private wards and are the only hospitals that have level 3 NICUs just in case something happens with the baby. I moved here at 24 weeks and had mine at NUH and ahve don everything else at that hospital since. Many of my firends wo went to Thomson or Mt Elizabeth changed to KK or NUH and were delighted second time around having been a little disappointed first time. THere is an expat bias against the local hospitals which I think is founded on ignorance. They are brilliant and it must be close to the best medicine in the world here in terms of cost and availability

The thorny issue of hel (MAIDS) can wait until you get here

We have been here 3 years now and absolutely love it and think we will stay forever

Hope this helps
Megan




Sorry this got so long but it's such a huge decision! Thanks for any input. [/quote]

[road.not.taken]

I have a very different mindset than others on this thread. We don't have a maid nor will we ever have one. People here treat maids incredibly poorly (and yes, that is an understatement). It goes against everything we know and understand about human decency being Americans who fought a war against slavery. We do have a great Singaporean woman who comes once a month to help clean the apartment. Why have a kid if you can't take care of it?

Sheesh, boffenl, why don't you tell us how you really feel... You make it sound like everyone here treats their maids badly. And it sounds a lot like you're saying Americans who employ maids are hypocritical since we fought a war against slavery (actually more about States' right, but whatever). I have a maid, two actually, and I have always looked after my own children. Employing a maid does not mean an automatic surrendering of parental duties. Maybe for some, but certainly not for all. I always thought having a maid helped me to be a better parent.

aussiemeg: I think you might be right about the bias toward the public hospitals, but in reality Singapore is so small -- that most doctors see patients at several hospitals so the actual medical care is fairly consistent and usually excellent. The whole experience though, the convenience, the ambience (strange word I know, but the feel for the place) -- is better at a private facility like Mt. E or Gleneagles. There are fewer people so there is less of a wait everywhere: for services of course, but also the cafeteria, lifts, taxi queues. I've had lots of experience in both and I think it al depends on the circumstance which is right for you. I'd only recommend a private hospital for a routine procedures. Traumas, anything really serious, get yourself to NUH, or if OB/GYN related -- KK is best. I remember waiting long hours for my husband to come out of emergency surgery at NUH, it was deepavali and the place was packed with people waiting for assurance about some loved one. I walked into the stairwell to get some fresh air and there was a large extended family 'picnicking' there, roasting something -- definitely NOT a chicken on a spit made of two bunsen burners. I felt like I walked into a time/space vortex and landed in Bangladesh. Probably get a little less of that at Mt. E.

[cbavasi]

tybriss - congratulations on what might be a big move! we moved here when i was 7 months pregnant and had a 2 year old. we'd been in jakarta for over 2 years where we spent SOOOOO much time in the car (traffic) i couldn't wait to walk the streets. we opted to move closer in town and purchased a double stroller which was great. you'll get the hang of getting in and out of taxis and you'll learn which MRTs have the most convenient elevators, ramps...etc. we've been talking about getting a car the last year or so - but quite honestly i think singapore is a safer place without me driving around
i had my daughter at gleneagles - but that was simply due to a convenience factor. we literally live right behind so i wanted a place where i could easily have my appts and also when i delivered my other one could come a couple of times. i consulted with a doctor at thompson prior to our final move based on a referral and he was fantastic - but in the end i wanted to be at gleneagles.
i had a friend whose son was a patient at KK for quite some time as a newborn and she was really pleased. have also had friends deliver at mount E & raffles. everyone i've talked to recommends the hospital they were at. i really do think singapore has a great reputation as a place to be pregnant, give birth and raise children.
good luck with your decision - it's a fantastic experience!
ps - i've been out of the US for 6 years and still get weak in the knees when i think about target.... and don't get me started on whole foods!!!

[MaddyJay]

heya,
My baby is 1 now and i had her at KK hospital.. it was quite good, but pls dont take C class! lol.. i went in when i had complications.. it was only fan and 6 ppl per room..super hot for a 9month preggers woman who loves her aircon.. then when i finally gave birth i went to B1 which was cosy and had western food! the C class only had chinese (extremely bad version) and indian. I was at Raffles Hospital too in the early stages as my company has priviledges there, and it was awesome! I saw Dr Wee.. i think that was her name.. and she was great.
Having a baby here at the moment is good too, if your PR, as the PM raised the baby bonus and now 4 months maternity leave.
It is always a difficult thing to leave the comfort of your country and home, but making a new one is rewarding and now your kids will have a diverse cultural experience that will benefit them.

Take care.

[boffenl]

Thanks R.N.T glad to know my opinion is worth something. Wow, I hear that "Having a maid helped me be a better parent" story a lot. Will you have one when you go back to the US? And yes, officially the Civil War, brother against brother was fought over States rights, and I'm sure that's what they teach at SAS, but truthfully it was a realization that free labor isn't free, and a civil society cannot be based on the subjugation of an entire race of people.

The fact that the first "free" protest in Singapore dealt with maid abuse is incredibly telling. Countless times I've seen horrible instances of disrespecting helpers. It makes my stomach burn and my eyes see red. I'm sure you've taken the time to educate your children about where your helper comes from, the family she left behind, her goals and aspirations. That's what decent people do.

And yes, there are certainly wonderful families who have great helpers who become parts of their families (for instance the woman who is taking her helper with her to the UK) but the majority see "it" as nothing but an indentured servant. Just ask your Singaporean colleagues who have maids.

[road.not.taken]

Thanks R.N.T glad to know my opinion is worth something. Wow, I hear that "Having a maid helped me be a better parent" story a lot. Will you have one when you go back to the US? And yes, officially the Civil War, brother against brother was fought over States rights, and I'm sure that's what they teach at SAS, but truthfully it was a realization that free labor isn't free, and a civil society cannot be based on the subjugation of an entire race of people.

Wow, and I hear that self-important, misguided, sophomoric rhetoric every time I tune into Fox News. If you're so self-assured in your complete knowledge of the plight of domestic workers here in Singapore, I should think you'd be spending your spare time at H.O.M.E rather than on-line. Only someone struggling with significant insecurities would lash out by insulting the 7000+ parents who decided to send their children to SAS and every Singaporean who employs a maid without taking the time to make a valid point. Not bad for a Wednesday afternoon.

[boffenl]

Totally off the thread now--True, good work for a Wednesday. Actually, I do work with HOME and Aidah and UNIFEM quite frequently, thanks for the reminders. I simply stated my views. They are mine, and maybe not many agree.

Many, many Americans have forgotten what the Civil War actually meant for our young country. It was a horrific time in our history. The memory should be alive and well in each and every American (US) who goes out into the world. And it should CERTAINLY color how we treat others who have not had the benefits and access we have enjoyed.

You know well my thoughts on SAS. It is a great choice for many Expats here for short times, and others who live the Expat lifestyle here for longer stays. Others on this Forum have supported both of our viewpoints. I have decided to teach my daughter about the United States by visiting places like Gettysburg and Ft. McHenry, San Antonio and Pearl Harbor. She will know and cherish what is means to be a US citizen. She will also know what it means to be a minority in a "foreign" land. In this way she will truly understand way more about the world than any textbook could teach her. Or paid "helper".

[road.not.taken]

Well, bully for you boffenl. But if you came down off your high horse for even a moment, it may surprise you that other people have perfectly valid opinions which are different than yours. And that maybe, just maybe employing a maid can provide a wealth of knowledge and life experiences you've never considered and provide a relationship that is mutually beneficial.

And that maybe some of us have actually studied US History from books and visited historic sites, imagine that -- volunteered at restoring the underground railroad, camped at Wounded Knee, crawled through the Cu Chi tunnels. You can state your views, no problem there -- it's when you go out of your way to be insulting that I find offensive. I do not know 'well your thoughts' on SAS but I know well your overbearing attitude.

**tybriss - apologies for hijacking your thread, almost everything about maids is thorny as aussiemeg suggested**