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advice for the lonely

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ozchick
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Postby ozchick » Thu, 04 Sep 2008 10:32 am

Forks wrote:The image that springs to mind is the one of Al and Peggy in their marital bed from married with Children but in reverse, Al doesnt like sleeping with Peg much, classic show.


Yeah I remember Al- the shoe-sales guy yeah? He he...gee that dude made great faces ! :)
'Are you trying to tempt me because I come from the land of plenty?'

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Forks
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Postby Forks » Thu, 04 Sep 2008 8:03 pm

While it was a bit exaggerated in places it was often funny coz it was true, the 90s seemed to be the decade for dysfunctional families on TV, simpsons, Roseane, MWC, and a few others whos names I forget.
Poking, poking everywhere...

Pardes
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Postby Pardes » Sat, 06 Sep 2008 5:47 pm

Cheer up... We all feel that way sometimes. Get out more. Its when your all alone that you start "thinking". Join a club or find people who share your interests.

hithere
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thanks

Postby hithere » Mon, 08 Sep 2008 10:14 pm

hi everyone

thanks for all the replies...really appreciate them. lets see-deep down inside i guess we all need to belong. somewhere, somehow, even though logically i know i have everything going for me and should be darned grateful for all the blessings i have.

so thanks again

PS an invite to a singles party wld not be refused :)

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Re: thanks

Postby durain » Mon, 08 Sep 2008 11:39 pm

hithere wrote:hi everyone

thanks for all the replies...really appreciate them. lets see-deep down inside i guess we all need to belong. somewhere, somehow, even though logically i know i have everything going for me and should be darned grateful for all the blessings i have.

so thanks again

PS an invite to a singles party wld not be refused :)


good on you. nothing beats having the perfect partner. keep looking. they are out there.

chrisplease
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Postby chrisplease » Thu, 11 Sep 2008 5:23 am

hey, perhaps you can give me ring or drop me an email, it may be the wind of change.

thanks

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Postby Dr_H » Fri, 12 Dec 2008 3:56 am

It is quite disappointing to note that your words sound like they are coming from a teen who "just doesn't seem to get mr. right". It is very clear from your words that you have not attempted a rigorous analysis of your emotions, your needs and the available market for a companion. Remember this is real life and you will not get everything you want. In such a complex decision making scenario as choosing a mate that has long term benefits, one must not rely on gut impulses (which are largely driven by previous dopamine release patterns and could be wrong).

you will fume at my words and crawl back, achieving real change is hard and its easy to stick to hope and illusions
Or to find some girlfriends or gayfriends who will just "yes, yes" you.
...he has no ambition and no energy. He will not even go out of his way to verify his own solutions, and would rather be considered wrong than take the trouble to prove himself right........

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Postby pakjohn » Fri, 12 Dec 2008 6:54 am

you will fume at my words and crawl back, achieving real change is hard and its easy to stick to hope and illusions
Or to find some girlfriends or gayfriends who will just "yes, yes" you


Way to kick someone when they're down... I'm betting she just ignores you.
Singabore can be a sterile place for an individual and you do have to manage your emotional needs. That's new for a lot of people... To me, the fact that she's reaching out to the community is very commendable and pro active. I wish her well and think she's going to be fine.
Pakjohn

Dr_H
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Postby Dr_H » Tue, 16 Dec 2008 2:16 am

i am not kicking "HER" only her "thought patterns" and they are different. I like it best when someone splashes cold water over my face when i am out of it rather than treating me like a sick puppy in need of love. I think we hold our ideas too dearly and find it hard to part with our theories of the world that were formed a while ago and now may not be true.

Am i immune to this myself? of course not. The human mind amazing as it is can be very stubborn and clingy and unreceptive to change even when change has kicked our front doors and has just slapped us hard and has then proceeded to smash our heads against the wall... Being bipolar I have had the opportunity of witnessing this myself all through my 20s.
...he has no ambition and no energy. He will not even go out of his way to verify his own solutions, and would rather be considered wrong than take the trouble to prove himself right........

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ksl
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Postby ksl » Wed, 17 Dec 2008 11:28 am

durain wrote:where is KSL when you need to read up on his life story??? :wink:


Very interesting thread! But in my opinion there is no such thing as the right one...no matter who one ends up with, there will be problems.

I think the important thing is not to try to change oneself, to please the other. Just be the person you are, of course some issues may have to be fine tuned, but like mum always said, "Leopards never change their spots"

I think its a good thing the two old ladies have realised it, and hold fast onto their value. My own relationship is hard work too, and at times i wish i was single, but when i sit back and really think how lucky i am to have a woman, that isn't pushy, cannot cook, or clean the house properly, and mrs her mum and dad, more than she does me...I think she's a very wonderful person, kind but not always considerate, she does try, when reminded, that she could improve her habits.

I never attempt to change her, and she never really attempts to change me, for all the bad habits i have.

Now and then we let off steam for 10 to 15 minutes, but we try to make up after an hour or two, and never hold any grudges, we are what we are, the best of friends and a couple that wants it to work out. But not willing to give up our freedoms. which are fundamental to our happiness, one must have trust, faith and a conscience, without those life in a relationship I would think would die.

Freedom to do what one wants to do, is very important, although one must also be a little considerate at times too.

You have to have fun, freedom and lots of sex for men, women believe it or not, have a time limit and the sex they can live without, they turn it on and off at will, not like men who lack that control, because women have brains in their pretty little heads and live out their fantasies in a different way.

Surprisingly one needs to watch two bitches on heat, to see the sparks fly, nothing worse than two jealous women chasing the same guy, not that it has happened to me, but i have been in the company of women, when they have confided in me what's going on.

I guess sex on tap is the best for me anyway, love being completely different and it satisfies different needs and emotions getting it right can be exciting, and fun, a bit like high risk sports, to get the adrenalin pumping.

Sulking women should sleep in the bath, or have the balls to kick the guy out of the bedroom and lock the door, like my wife. :oops: leaving me to sulk.
Lucky for me, my partners moods don't last very long at all and if anything I would say I have two kids to look after and its a toss of a coin to say who is the most difficult, i love them both when they are in good moods.
When i stand across the room and really think about it, i wouldn't sacrifice missing their strong personalities, to be single.

anitaluv
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Postby anitaluv » Thu, 22 Jan 2009 10:36 pm

seems to be alot of singles here..i am lonely too gals n guys pls add me in ur singles parties i am 32 n go swim alone,go everywhre alone...do feel sad sometimes tat al my frens are settled down n i am sitl all alone..keep in touch guys..is anyone keen on goin for a short backback trip..let me know..

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carteki
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Postby carteki » Fri, 23 Jan 2009 10:05 am

ksl wrote:Surprisingly one needs to watch two bitches on heat, to see the sparks fly, nothing worse than two jealous women chasing the same guy, not that it has happened to me, but i have been in the company of women, when they have confided in me what's going on.


Conventioal widsom says that sparks will fly in the above situation. What fascinates me is what happens when you bring 2 men who like the same woman together for the first time. Its not explosive - but there is a lot of tension all the same. Best way to work out if a guy likes you ;)

There was thread a while back (December?) on the benefits of singlehood or something like that. There were some people on that thread who were adament that it was impossible to live a happy and fulfilled life without having a significant other. I disagree. I consider myself one of the lucky ones. I am content with my single status and not chasing everything in pants in the hopes that "he might be the one". I have friends for whom being single is possibly the worse thing that could happen to them. I guess it is just what we are comfortable with.
Last edited by carteki on Fri, 23 Jan 2009 10:26 am, edited 1 time in total.

smayrhofer
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Postby smayrhofer » Fri, 23 Jan 2009 10:23 am

ozchick, did you ever tackle the sleeping-in-the-same-bed-every-night issue with your boyfriend?? Curious how that went down!

I'm the opposite - I love cuddling up in bed when I sleep. My man is the one who prefers to sleep untouched. We compromise. cuddle up until I'm asleep, then he rolls away to his side of the bed. lol

DaisyRae
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Postby DaisyRae » Sun, 01 Feb 2009 9:03 pm

Hi hithere,

I think all of us come to a point where we get scared we'd end up getting old lonely. I do hope that you'd find the right guy for you soon.

To all,
Isn't it weird that with so many single people out there looking for someone to love and to love them back, so many still say it's hard to find the 'one'? Are people single coz they are still looking for a storybook romance? Maybe single people should stick to reality and realise that love is not all about electricity when you touch and stare at each other's eyes.
Hindsight is always 20/20.

MrJelly
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Postby MrJelly » Wed, 18 Feb 2009 2:05 pm

hi, i'm 22/m. feel lonely also. am i too early to say this? :P

Need advice...how not to be lonely....


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