ksl wrote:9. I being the male don't have to be financially taken for a ride, or expected to look after her financially. (Once bitten twice shy)
i guess since i haven't had paid work since i had my first child i'm being "looked after financially".....? I don't suppose the kids are going to raise themselves...
Your dead right there, kids do not raise, themselves and most women that get alimony don't spend it on the kids either! Not to mention wife support, for being unfaithful and breaking up the marriage! And you think the husband maybe can't do your job, just as good, That was a typical answer from a houswife, that believe she is alone in the raising of her children, and would mostly go for every penny her husband has in the bank, scary feeling I would say.
So how much do you think you are worth?
Most men that have suffered the fate, will know what i mean, although I have no qualms at all, with paying child alimony, and I am not saying all mothers are painted with the same brush, what I am saying is that I will not fall pray to it again....Although I never married again, I did have a live in relationship with a another, who worked in a beauty salon, that was also a costly mistake....having to pay 50/50 and then be tricked into redecorating the home, before being kicked out, because she had met someone on holiday...and had the nerve to invite him home.
Having bumped into them a day after I left the property
in the town, I did make a remark, to them both, that she couldn't wait for the bed to get cold, personally I believe most women are just out for security the best way they can achieve it, I don't blame them, although it does sink to very low ethics, of which i have no respect for, and no one on this board can honestly tell me, they know the actions of their partner, when it comes time to break up, but one thing is for sure, that a woman will get as much as possible, it's inherent, called survival. Cost me an arm and a leg on two occassions, and the live in guy, doesn't have a leg to stand on, no matter how long you contribute to the costs of the common law household, if the contract is in her name....Normally turns out, it was a business relationship, and she rented you a place, even though you paid 50% of everything, when it gets to the legal. MEN TAKE HEED!
So all I am saying, is that I will not be caught out again, financially, I am quite happy to except that life is unpredictable, but i have control of my own destiny, through lessons learnt, and will do everything possible to secure my own future, the older we get, the more wise we become, only the sooner the better is favourable.
And lets face it, even though I was married in Europe and living in Asia, what chance has a foreigner got of equality.
I have a friend who just retired, because of a bad back, he's enough money in the bank, for two life times, although he now realises, that if he dies, early, that he will not get to enjoy the fortune, but his wife might, with the company of another man ha!
I would say to any guy, to think twice, about there fortunes and plan ahead, instead of being blinded by love....One only as to read the paper here in Singapore to see, how many people get suckered for all their hard earned cash, believing the woman loves them.
You cannot buy love, so why try, I don't go out to impress women and never have, I'm dead straight with them, this is how it is, like it or lump it, I have no need to beg or plead, for anything, just say the word, and I'm gone, knowing that my emotional hurt, will be over as soon as I get a replacement.
So the sooner the better, one can still give 100%, of feelings of love, the problem comes in managing the emotions, it's as simple as that, and the more times one breaks up, the experience is enhanced, and i must have broken up with well over 20 women, in my 23 years of single life. What matters is ethics and honesty, and I have both.
Of course I have given it great thought, before joining in union for the last time, and I'm sure that my present wife, knows, that I may put on a hard face, but she also knows I have a soft heart too, and what i do, I do for their future, not for my own.
I don't regret getting married again, although looking back, I wish I hadn't, being alone for all those years, had many perks, like travelling alone, and just thinking of myself, of which I did for 4 months of the year year, now I only get 6 to 8 weeks and I have to combine business with pleasure and also look after my daughter.
The sacrifice for freedom is income, I only need what I use, and I am not motivated by money, but my own interest for hobbies and doing what i like to do, So I guess I am luckier than most.
Of course I do also get put under pressure, with having two grown up children too, a father is always expected to be there for all kids, and mostly it's money, otherwise there is not much contact.
So I don't give them, because I want them to appreciate money and respect it, what i loan them, I expect to be repaid, and they will inherit whatever I leave.
Society is such that most in Europe do not wish to work, because of the welfare system, in UK it's not good, unless you can beat the system and that becomes an education in itself, of which the majority have learnt, it's appalling how many fraudsters their have been in UK, and most certainly brought the country to it's knees, making everyone that has worked hard all their lives suffer.
So my principles in life have been set, I have no time for wasters or negativity and I can get scolded from my wife, for knowing everything, she hates, that I am right most of the time....although knowledge is gained through life's trials, errors and wisemen, not through theoretic literature.
These are of course my opinions that practise makes makes perfect, rather than compete against a woman, I would rather pacify her, for peace of mind, let them believe they are in charge is very important, if that is what they want.
Role play is very important in the relationship and UK is a prime example, I believe it to be a male chauvanistic culture, where by men believe they rule the nest, however, it's quite the opposite, the woman rules the nest, the reasons are simple....NO SEX.. manipulation we live with every day of the week, some realise it many don't, it depends how one fine tunes the skills, using the tools that are out there, education and practise including sex and understanding what a womans needs are, and satisfying them...and you are right, they (women) change like the weather and are unpredictable
but we love em all the same.