Marriage Software

[godsend]

Marriage Software

This is what a guy wrote to our systems analyst
(Marriage Software Division):

Dear Systems Analyst,

I am desperate for some help! I recently upgraded my program from Girlfriend
7.0 to Wife 1.0 and found that the new program began unexpected Child Processing and also took up a lot of space and valuable resources.

This wasn't mentioned in the product brochure. In addition Wife 1.0 installs itself into all other programs and launches during systems initialization and then it monitors all other system activities as if having an inbuilt spyware. Sometimes "Mother in law 1.0" pops up and system hangs.

Applications such as "Boys' Night out 2.5", "Bachelors Party 12.0", "One Day 5.3" and "T-20" no longer run, and crashes the system whenever selected. Attempting to operate selected "Sunday Friends 6.3" always fails and "Sunday Shopping 7.1" and "Candlelight Dinner 9.0" runs instead.
I cannot seem to keep Wife 1.0 in the background whilst attempting to run any of my favorite applications. Be it online or offline.

I am thinking of going back to "Girlfriend 7.0", but uninstall doesn't work on this program. Can you please help?

... AND THIS IS WHAT OUR ANALYST SAID:

Dear Customer,

This is a very common problem resulting from a basic misunderstanding of the functions of the Wife 1.0 program. Many customers upgrade from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0 thinking that Wife 1.0 is merely a UTILITY AND ENTERTAINMENT PROGRAM. Actually, Wife 1.0 is an OPERATING SYSTEM designed by its Creator to run everything on your current platform.

You are unlikely to be able to purge Wife 1.0 and still convert back to Girlfriend 7.0, as Wife 1.0 was not designed to do this and it is impossible to uninstall, delete or purge the program files from the System once it is installed.

Some people have tried to install Girlfriend 8.0 or Wife 2.0 but have ended up with even more serious and costly problems. (See manual under Alimony/Child Support and Solicitors' Fees).

Having Wife 1.0 installed, I recommend you keep it Installed and deal with the difficulties as best as you can. When any faults or problems occur, whatever you think has caused them, you must run the.........

C:\ APOLOGIZE\ FORGIVE ME.EXE Program and avoid attempting to use the *Esc-Key for it will freeze the entire system.

It may be necessary to run C:\ APOLOGIZE\ FORGIVE ME.EXE a number of times, and wait for the operating system to return to normal.

Wife 1.0, although a very high maintenance programme, can be very rewarding.

To get the most out of it, consider buying additional Software such as "Flowers 2.0" and "Chocolates 5.0" or "HUGS\ KISSES 600.0" or "TENDERNESS\ UNDERSTANDING 1000.0" or even Eating Out Without the Kids 7.2.1" (if Child processing has already started).

DO NOT under any circumstances install "Secretary 2.1 " (Short Skirt Version)
or "One Nightstand 3.2" (Any Mood Version), as this is not a supported Application for Wife 1.0 and the system will certainly CRASH entirely.

BEST WISHES!

Your System Analyst.
Madhu.

[sleepydog]

funny

[lordsgrace]

Hi,
You are very God send!
You understand about your programm so much and handle with a lot of well care. Finally you sounds very consultant!!

Cheers for your well understanding and run of your program.

God bless your gift from Him.

Lordsgrace

[rain_bow]

I've seen this before, or smthg similar. It's the menu frm Botak Jones!

[ancientmoon]

Your are a good programmer !
it's funny

[dennis_tew]

lol. funny. Especially this part (Applications such as "Boys' Night out 2.5", "Bachelors Party 12.0", "One Day 5.3" and "T-20" no longer run, and crashes the system whenever selected. Attempting to operate selected "Sunday Friends 6.3" always fails and "Sunday Shopping 7.1" and "Candlelight Dinner 9.0" runs instead. )