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Petales Soufflez!
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Re: On a lighter note:

Postby Petales Soufflez! » Fri, 27 Jun 2008 3:28 am

notwavingdrowning wrote:Petales Soufflez!- What a lovely post, I have to say that reading posts like this really make me feel so much more positive. I guess it is positive reinforcement I need right now).

A little childish I imagine of me perhaps, in a way like SammyMcK says, when we are taken away from what we know and the ones we love and even the simple things like our local supermarkets (why is that such a big one?) it is such a shock to our system. (I spent 3 years in Europe but did not experience these feelings) Probably explains my attitude at the moment. However I must say that starting this thread and being able to read others stories, in particular studying the graph on culture shock that my Star fellow expat JEZZMAN, posted earlier on this thread is making me feel more positive about my stay here.

My partner told me today his contract was going to be extended by 6 months (1 yr to 18mths+) and instead of bursting into tears (which I would of earlier this week) I actually thought, well I have no excuse now, I really need to get a life as I am going to be here a lot longer than expected..

So thank you, all of you. I hope this thread can keep going and possibly help others in knowing we are not alone, like it has helped me.


I actually do empathise with this supermarket business because that's the 1st place I visit when I arrive in a new country and I do spend alot of my time in them thereafter. :D So you have to feel good about your supermarkets, that's for sure.

Personally, one problem I have when we keep moving around so much is that I am always tempted not to adapt because I know that we would soon be leaving. What's the point making new friends only to leave them? Getting yourself organised and comfortable only to have to start all over?

But then I also know that I would only be cutting off my nose to spite my face so after like a few weeks, I will force myself to move my butt and get going. Usually that may mean taking the initiative to invite people for a meal, sign up for a language course etc.

Maybe you should start a blog if you do not have one. Keep note of how you feel (both good and bad) of Singapore, the people you meet, the food, sights etc etc. Whine, complain, curse and swear if you need to. I did that 2 years ago and it has been great. Met quite a number of interesting people thru my blog too. People may agree with you or disagree, in any case, it's better than crying alone with only the Hub in the know. Plus you wouldn't have to repeat yourself, all your friends, family etc will also get to know everything. :lol:
Je pense donc je suis. Le reste du temps, je ne suis qu'une fleur.

Isambard
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Try volunteering?

Postby Isambard » Fri, 27 Jun 2008 9:25 am

Hi there,

I read this thread with empathy as, although Singapore is suiting me well, our first expat experience in New York did not go nearly so smoothly. I was unable to get a working visa and so found myself bored and lonely within weeks of arriving. Don't get me wrong, New York is a great city, however, finding friends, activities and a reason to get out of bed was not at all easy for me.

What changed things was seeing an advert on the telly for the Mayor's volunteering office. This service matched people's skills and interests with volunteering opportunities across the city and through it I was able to try 5 different opportunities of which 3 became permanent jobs. I worked as a tutor for people mandated to community service in Central Park, people with learning difficulties at the International Center for Disabled People, and I also supported a blind counsellor with his paperwork.

Through this work I was able to see a completely different side to New York from the financial world in which my partner circulated and found enormous satisfaction in each days' work.

On a purely selfish note I was also able to maintain a continuous work history, and once I returned to my home country was able to turn this experience into paid employment. Within 3 years I was a regional manager in a national charity and I then went on to run a successful consultancy as a trouble shooter for charities.

In Singapore I now have a family so my situation is completely different and, unlike Petales Soufflez suggests, I personally find it easier to adapt to life as an expat with a child. Mind you I've only been here for a couple of months so perhaps I have yet to experience the down turn... :?

To those of you who are unable to work and are perhaps feeling listless, I suggest trying a volunteering post. There is a thread started elsewhere on this forum which lists places to go for opportunities.

I hope things improve for all of you and that you get some positives out of your time here.

fraufechner
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Sorry you guys feel terrible here.. I understand

Postby fraufechner » Fri, 27 Jun 2008 11:34 am

Hey guys...

I kinda understand how you all feel being here... :(
I am a local and I had a chance seeing the lifestyle in Uk and Germany...

I can understand how dificult and unhappy for those who come from the west and trying to adjust to the life here...
My german husband is finding it very frustrating now... I feel for him

We have been an expat in India before and I was miserable, and cry almost everyday... Join some expat group and they all seems so happy... I didnt have anyone to turn to scream.. "I hate being here!" So I kinda understand how terrible some of you feel...

I cannot agree more reading what you guys have written but I hope you guys find something to make life less miserable...

For myself.. I have about enough of Singapore too... People are rude, inconsiderate and totally have no idea what basic manner is anymore...
Frankly speaking I am very disappointed with Singapore now.. I even have a blog talking about the ugly side of Singapore...

Reading this thread is like hearing to my husband misery... hahaha
We found few places that we enjoy going to during the weekend... away from people....

So I really hope you and your partner will find some ways and places you can go to take your mind off the misery...
I sincerely hope things will get better with time...

tschuess!

P.s: Why am I in this forum? Because of my husband really. Trying to understand the difficulties foreigners like him adjusting and hearing what other expats are doing to cope. There are also others with caucasian spouses here whom I can communicate and share each other problems.
:)

notwavingdrowning
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Re: Sorry you guys feel terrible here.. I understand

Postby notwavingdrowning » Fri, 27 Jun 2008 1:45 pm

[quote="fraufechner"]Hey guys...

I kinda understand how you all feel being here... :(
I am a local and I had a chance seeing the lifestyle in Uk and Germany...

An understanding local is always welcome on this thread. Welcome :D
notwavingdrowning...is back from the Ashram and looking for a new career.

sabs
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hello! I am from Austria

Postby sabs » Fri, 27 Jun 2008 3:10 pm

and i am not so good at english.

My friend (28) and I (25) arrived last Sunday. We are in Somerset appartement and looking for a new home if we can describe it a "home"

i am alone.. the whole day, because my friend is working here (HarbourFront)


Maybe we should meet us and do the best of the situation??

i hope my grammar isn't to bad. i speak german....

and i am pregnant (7th month) !!!!

my first child will born in singapur!!! without family :o(
only for love to my boyfriend...

globalcitizen208
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I feel the same

Postby globalcitizen208 » Fri, 27 Jun 2008 3:12 pm

Dear notwavingdrowning,

I think I feel the same as you. Singapore - being nice, clean, safe and etc is a great place... but I am still very unsettled after being here for 4 months. I speak all asian languages fluently, but still people here exclude you if you are not "singaporean".

I have met a lot of expats here and have joined several activities organised by them and thoroughly enjoyed myself. I wont say I am bored or nor do i lock myself inside my flat and not socialise but as you said, we are just here to moan a little and not bash the "host country". At times I do miss the great creamy latte that i can get in Melbourne, the variety of food that we can get (and much tastier) and etc...

thanks for the thread..... we can all do it! 18 months is do-able. And hopefully we will all get enriching experience out of this.

Happy Friday~!

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jezzman
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Re: Sorry you guys feel terrible here.. I understand

Postby jezzman » Fri, 27 Jun 2008 3:20 pm

@ notwavingdrowning: Check out your personal messages :)
Me, fail English?
But nooo, that's unpossible....

amarjeetsingh_ca
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Location: sing ming avenue..

Postby amarjeetsingh_ca » Fri, 27 Jun 2008 6:00 pm

hello everyone.........
am still enjoying watever i can.....
but yes missing my family & freinds...............
looking for some nice freinds here.........
& i hopefully can get some........
looking for cool frnds to hang around..
:)
Statutory warning: Am a single..

Petales Soufflez!
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Re: Try volunteering?

Postby Petales Soufflez! » Fri, 27 Jun 2008 7:28 pm

Isambard wrote:Hi there,

In Singapore I now have a family so my situation is completely different and, unlike Petales Soufflez suggests, I personally find it easier to adapt to life as an expat with a child. Mind you I've only been here for a couple of months so perhaps I have yet to experience the down turn... :?



Hi, I certainly didn't say that :D . On the contrary, I said that makes no difference for me where I go because I have my family. A family takes up alot of your time and you actually socialise better through your kids.

I also said that if I were single (therefore more mobile and flexible), I'm sure I would have an even greater time. I was an expat before I got married and have children so I could say that for sure. Different way of living thru an expatriation though. :)
Je pense donc je suis. Le reste du temps, je ne suis qu'une fleur.

Petales Soufflez!
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Re: Sorry you guys feel terrible here.. I understand

Postby Petales Soufflez! » Fri, 27 Jun 2008 7:50 pm

fraufechner wrote:Hey guys...

I kinda understand how you all feel being here... :(
I am a local and I had a chance seeing the lifestyle in Uk and Germany...

I can understand how dificult and unhappy for those who come from the west and trying to adjust to the life here...
My german husband is finding it very frustrating now... I feel for him

I even have a blog talking about the ugly side of Singapore...

Reading this thread is like hearing to my husband misery... hahaha
We found few places that we enjoy going to during the weekend... away from people....



I envy you. I've been telling the spouse that I would love to spend a few years in India.

Meanwhile, out of curiosity, as a local, do you not have family here? Friends?

I have lived 2 years in Stuttgart. Didn't like it when I was there, but was sorry when we had to leave. Life, if you ask other Asians living there, is boring and the food really sucks. Not easy making friends with the Germans. The Germans are always spying on one another or telling you how to live your life and I actually had other foreigners telling me they avoided bringing too many people home because they knew that their neighours were watching their every move! People even have locks on their rubbish bins.

But there is alot of space and greenery (we lived in a big house with a huge garden, indoor pool and a forest just behind our house), the public transportation is good, sports facilities are excellent and you get used to everything at the end of the day.

It is true that blogging helps. :D I started my blog in Germany. To complain about the country etc. Then by the time I left, I was saying really nice things about the place and actually missing it. Especially my friends. Now I go to Lidl every week and I am happy to meet the Germans here for activities. But I think I like Germans now because I've lived in Germany and have come to understand them. Otherwise it would have remained painful. :P
Je pense donc je suis. Le reste du temps, je ne suis qu'une fleur.

hoon
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A local here

Postby hoon » Fri, 27 Jun 2008 7:54 pm

Hi there i hope you all are not offended or what by having locals here...
I too am surprised that this forum has more locals then expats after all it is the expat forum
But for me is cause i simply dont' get along with many singaporeans... I do find expats/foreigners more interesting and more friendly? as in i have more frds who r not local...
However, it would bring up a valid point of there r so many locals here shouldnt i be able to get along with them? if they have the same mentality?

Well basically i'm just here to make frds, local, foreign, whoever. As long as u wanna make a frd i'm cool with that :)

So yeah just let me know yeah ;)
Drop me a mail daniel_hoon@hotmail.com or msn me if ya want :)
Hope to hear from ya

Petales Soufflez!
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Re: hello! I am from Austria

Postby Petales Soufflez! » Fri, 27 Jun 2008 8:03 pm

sabs wrote:and i am pregnant (7th month) !!!!

my first child will born in singapur!!! without family :o(
only for love to my boyfriend...


Sabs, Grüss Gott!

I feel for you, this must be quite horrible. 1st child, newly arrived in a foreign country, no family and friends to support you, and probably not speaking much of the language(s).

I have been thru that, if it could comfort you. I gave birth to all my 3 children overseas, with nobody to help me. Had to take the bus to the hospital with a 15-mth old child in the arms for one of them.

But Singapore is small and the hospitals are good. Please ask your clinic to provide you with a Mother Support group contact. If you intend to breastfeed, it would be a great way to meet other mothers and obtain friendship, encouragement and support. It'll be good for you and your baby. If they couldn't give you one, PM me and I'll try to help you find one. I've never joined any such group but I know many people (locals and foreigners alike) who did and they were all very positive about it.

Tschüss!
Je pense donc je suis. Le reste du temps, je ne suis qu'une fleur.

sabs
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Postby sabs » Fri, 27 Jun 2008 8:51 pm

Dear Petales Soufflez,

in which hospital were you?? i think i like to go to the Mount Elizabeth Hospital. Do you know something about it??

oh my god!!! with the bus???? sounds terrible.


thanks i contact you if i have questions. thanks...

i feel better now


:D

cool_nich
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Postby cool_nich » Sat, 28 Jun 2008 12:21 am

sabs dont worry u will be ok here
and can deliver ur kid later well
ok

fraufechner
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Re: Sorry you guys feel terrible here.. I understand

Postby fraufechner » Sat, 28 Jun 2008 10:16 pm

I envy you. I've been telling the spouse that I would love to spend a few years in India.

Meanwhile, out of curiosity, as a local, do you not have family here? Friends?
-------------------------------------------------------

Hi :)
Well I think everyone should live in India.. hahaha I learn to appreciate many things in life after I left India :)

Oh yes, I have family and friends here... :) Thank you for asking
I am doing alright here in Singapore but I am seeing the terrible changes in the people here... I really dont want to offend any locals reading this thread but I think majority of the population here lack basic manners and the more money they earn, the more disgusting they are...

I feel bad getting my husband and now our kids back to Singapore... I know he doesnt enjoy working here..... so I am trying my best to keep everyone happy... stay away from the bad and make the best of what we have....


Ich hoffe das Beste für alle!

tschuess!


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