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Looking for other unhappy expats. Are you there?

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notwavingdrowning
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Looking for other unhappy expats. Are you there?

Postby notwavingdrowning » Mon, 23 Jun 2008 2:26 pm

See update..Whilst I am happy for the thrilled and settled expats living in Singapore I am not currently one of them. In fact I am miserable... I am writing this post to see if I can feel better by venting and see if I am not alone.. If you are one of the many happy expats here this thread is not for you ...

What I am searching for are the unsettled ones...Missing everything about your old life. Scared you made a mistake coming here? Stuck for at least a year or more :o . Am I alone in feeling miserable here in Singapore. Wishing I were home. Are you tired of having to act happy and be greatful and positive at expat gatherings and have people look at you like you are a freak if you dare utter anything negative about the place.

I am sure by the sad faces of the other expats I see trawling the supermarkets and malls that I am not alone. Just wanting to have a moan. Anyone else out there want to have a whinge?

Unsettled in Singapore... :???:

Update...I wrote this post at week four of living here...I am happy to say now at week 8 things are very different...I am happy to be here...I have made friends and am aclimatising to the heat..Its been one step forward and 2 steps back, but I am getting there. Thank you to those who have written to me and I am a good example of the fact that there is hope :D
Last edited by notwavingdrowning on Tue, 22 Jul 2008 6:28 am, edited 3 times in total.
notwavingdrowning...is back from the Ashram and looking for a new career.

rockchalkinsing
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It's not just you

Postby rockchalkinsing » Mon, 23 Jun 2008 3:09 pm

You're not alone. I'm incredibly homesick as well. I've been here for about a month. It's still very overwhelming.

notwavingdrowning
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Oh thank goodness..

Postby notwavingdrowning » Mon, 23 Jun 2008 3:15 pm

Thank you for your post. I guess homesickness is what it is. It feels so overwhelming, it actually makes me feel ill. I just cannot see myself being happy here and that is a very scary thought seeing as I will be here for the next 1-2 years..

What to do?
notwavingdrowning...is back from the Ashram and looking for a new career.

rockchalkinsing
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I know.

Postby rockchalkinsing » Mon, 23 Jun 2008 3:21 pm

I totally understand. I will be here for three years as my husband was sent here for work. I've yet to find a job so I sit at home a lot with nothing to do.

They say it gets better with time. (Being far away, I mean). I sure hope so!

notwavingdrowning
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Homesick..

Postby notwavingdrowning » Mon, 23 Jun 2008 3:35 pm

I think I need to form my own club :roll:
notwavingdrowning...is back from the Ashram and looking for a new career.

jdroger1
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Postby jdroger1 » Mon, 23 Jun 2008 8:44 pm

i know how you feel :? I've been here just over a year and trust me, i wasn't happy about that one and not looking forward to the next one (Boyfriend got sent here for 2 years...).

If the place, people and culture get you down (it's what got me... and the shitty fashion sense of Singaporeans....) then you need to make your own friends that make you happy, get a job you like, and find activities for your free time that you can throw yourself into. I have thrown myself into Spanish classes, salsa lessons, tennis, and i ran a marathon. You just need to find other things to focus on besides how much Singapore sucks....

I hope that helps you out. Singapore won't change. If you don't like it, you don't like it. But you can spend your time doing things you do like.

masauds
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hh

Postby masauds » Mon, 23 Jun 2008 10:08 pm

He he
same here,It is hard to find good friends here unless u know them well,cheers lets we all meet up someday for coffee after work and chit chat

sofiabelle
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Postby sofiabelle » Mon, 23 Jun 2008 10:56 pm

Hi, I'm an Asian expat and have been in Singapore for a year and a half now. I've another year to go (crossing the dates out in my calendar...)

I'm a single female in my late twenties. and although I look like a local, I haven't fully adjusted to life here. Most people still look at me funny when I say I don't like Singapore... (so I think I know what you mean). My first 6 months here were awful (there were days I'd cry and wonder why I took the job here). Then I discovered belly dancing, language classes, painting, piano, and sports; and ever since then, things have been much better.

I've kept a list of the establishments offering creative learning courses from all the research I did in my first few months. Let me know if you'd like to check out some of them.

I've also come to realize Singapore is quite fun for one thing - the food (and I don't mean the local fare but the sheer variety of food options here). :) There are several popular blogs on the best restaurants here - i eat. i shoot. i post. is one of the interesting ones.

If you're up for a chat, maybe we can all meet up for coffee sometime.

Cheers,
Soph

PS. I think this forum actually has a higher ratio of locals than expats... Everytime I go to an "expat" meet-up, I meet more locals, and I've yet to meet an expat who doesn't like it here (so glad for this thread, I almost thought I was the only one). :)

rockchalkinsing
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list of classes

Postby rockchalkinsing » Tue, 24 Jun 2008 12:02 am

Sofiabelle, I'd love to see the list of classes that you have, if you don't mind. I think it'd be fun to do something like that.

notwavingdrowning
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Postby notwavingdrowning » Tue, 24 Jun 2008 5:54 am

WOW its so refreshing to hear this. Great to have you out of the closet! I knew you were out there. I find it so curious that it seems to be such a sin to complain about this place. In my home country people complain about things. Its called having an opinion. No place is perfect. It does not make us bad people. The political correctness in this country is a bit mental. And terribly false.

I cut this from Sofiabelles post:

PS. I think this forum actually has a higher ratio of locals than expats... Everytime I go to an "expat" meet-up, I meet more locals, and I've yet to meet an expat who doesn't like it here (so glad for this thread, I almost thought I was the only one). Smile

What a fascinating situation: I have noticed this myself. How do the local natives stumble across a site like this. At home I would never hang out at a site like this. I appreciate the long term expats but the natives?
notwavingdrowning...is back from the Ashram and looking for a new career.

Jako
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Postby Jako » Tue, 24 Jun 2008 11:38 am

I'm also an unhappy expat here, but I'm just here for 3 more months.
Just to say that you are not the only one haha (I know 2-3 other people that thinks like me) :)

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sundaymorningstaple
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Postby sundaymorningstaple » Tue, 24 Jun 2008 12:08 pm

notwavingdrowning wrote:How do the local natives stumble across a site like this. At home I would never hang out at a site like this. I appreciate the long term expats but the natives?


This is a small, compact, and increasing well traveled population. As more and more get out to the rest of the world, especially those who have either worked or schooled abroad and have returned, they, like us, have much broader horizons now. With that, and having been "on the other side" often enjoy their newly found tongues and the ability to engage and espress themselves with conviction. So with that in mind they look for local venues where they can continue their penchant for more stimulating discourse. However, that doesn't explain the Airlines and Plastic surgery threads does it! :P

If you do a search of google for "Singapore forums" you will find that we are still listed at number 4.

If you do a google search of "expat forums +singapore" WE are Numero Uno! :P

So, once browsed through, and with the various forums on the site that are catering to all and sundry, we welcome all. Additionally, often it is the locals who know where the little known locations are around the island. It's an international community and Singaporean are a part of that. I welcome them.

Susu
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Postby Susu » Tue, 24 Jun 2008 6:05 pm

Hi there unhappy/homesick people. I've been here for 4 weeks and was feeling incredibly homesick until I booked my flight back home!

Unfortunately I'm only returning back home to attend some weddings so I need to figure out how to stop feeling like this. It's especially hard as I used to work full time back home and now am unemployed but hopeful that I will find something! It seems like the only way to get out of this rut is to immerse yourself in social activities and meet new people, so Sofiabelle please do pass on your contact list of establishments.

How are other people tackling this problem?

CdnGirl
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You're not the only one!

Postby CdnGirl » Tue, 24 Jun 2008 8:35 pm

I've been here for about 6 months and miss home everyday. Hoping to make a trip back to Canada for a short visit, but will have to come back for work for the remainder of the year, at the very least.

Over time, I've been able to distract myself by taking up language classes, sports and checking out all the cool restaurants/food here. Hope to do some travelling to the surrounding countries soon...so if there's anyone interested in travelling out there... :)

Hang in there!

cool_nich
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Postby cool_nich » Tue, 24 Jun 2008 10:04 pm

what happen with u guys?
cheers up


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