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how do you guys cope being away from the missus?

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taxico
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how do you guys cope being away from the missus?

Postby taxico » Sun, 25 May 2008 6:35 pm

heya,

i won't stick this in strictly speaking yet, cos i'm not sure on the uptake of the topic...

what i'm saying is, it's pretty tough being a (married/committed) man alone in a different country.

as much as i want to socialize, i realize there're boundaries that can be crossed if i get carried away.

and getting carried away is pretty easy when you see your partner perhaps once or twice a year. and you see other people with more regularity.

i know it's about discipline, but my question is: what do you guys do to help enforce that in? i'm beginning to go a little insane from not meeting too many people IRL.

see. i even use "IRL" now.

and is it just me, or do women really come on to men with a wedding band, either knowingly or unknowingly... jeezus.

nothing's happened for me yet, for what it's worth, but god forbid that it does, eh?

i think i need that ps3 and grand theft auto 4. and a giant flat screen tv.

old timers feel free to chime in.

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Postby durain » Sun, 25 May 2008 8:13 pm

dude, i've seen it all. first few months working away from home, the guys still very much in touch with their wife/partner. as the months chewed on, they start to go astray! orchard tower becomes more important than the wife/partner! you know the rest of the story...

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taxico
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Postby taxico » Sun, 25 May 2008 8:22 pm

i mean, i'm on skype, a decent international calling plan, webcam, text messages...

but that's about all i can do y'know. short of flying back every friday and returning on the saturday redeye, it's tough.

this is my 15th month away from her and i've only seen her 3 times. before that, we also worked apart when we were engaged (we were together in NY during my internship for a year, then i left for the research triangle at NC).

i know being disciplined and observing/respecting marriage vows is improtant and all, but pheee-whew, do i need more.

i've decided to stop going out and hanging around with married men. i know i'm not gay, and hopefully i won't turn gay hanging around men that (hopefully) aren't gay.

nothing against gays, btw.

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cutiebutie
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Postby cutiebutie » Sun, 25 May 2008 8:28 pm

taxico wrote:i've decided to stop going out and hanging around with married men. i know i'm not gay, and hopefully i won't turn gay hanging around men that (hopefully) aren't gay.

nothing against gays, btw.


You are just weird, and protesting your innocence too much.
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taxico
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Postby taxico » Sun, 25 May 2008 8:53 pm

i never said i wasn't weird... muahahaha.

i try my best to not twitch too much, also! *twitches*

it's just a tick, i say. ha ha?

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cutiebutie
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Postby cutiebutie » Sun, 25 May 2008 9:17 pm

And you are 12?
- Thank God for Darwin -

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taxico
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Postby taxico » Sun, 25 May 2008 10:02 pm

no. but i do wish i was 12 again... ah well.

i just enjoy dicking around here cos unlike other message boards i head to, i don't have to keep a somber outlook on everything.

not for nothing, but i kinda like the crowd here; hope it doesn't get your goat.

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sundaymorningstaple
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Postby sundaymorningstaple » Sun, 25 May 2008 10:16 pm

taxico,

I worked in the Oil Exploration Industry for a long long time. I also did the long distance relationship for about a year. It is damn difficult to say the least. Course I was probably much older than you are during that period of time and already had two marriages under my belt and working on a third! (no not because of that). However, It was still difficult and I was already in my late 30's. At your age it might have been nigh well impossible. However, I worked offshore for 20 years and was always gone for 2 months at a time and it was even harder then than now as we had no contact for two months (no cell phones or any other type of phone other than the old inmarsat which peons could not use anyway. The biggest problem with long distance relationship is the distance. It gets expensive but catching the redeye is a requisite sometimes in order to keep ones sanity and keeping it in your trousers the rest of the time as well. It's not easy......

Been there, done that. Hopefully the emotional bonds are strong (One thing to also remember is that your s/o has the same problems as well.)

I'm not a marriage counselor though, I just kept getting married until I got it right. (will be 25 year in a couple of months).

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Postby sundaymorningstaple » Sun, 25 May 2008 10:19 pm

Oh, I would have to say we enjoy your being here as well. You have a wealth of knowledge that you graciously distribute here and that is genuinely appreciated by all of us Mods and the majority of our regulars here. There are also a few sour ones but such is life. Cannot please everybody all the time I guess. I don't even try. :wink:

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maneo
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Postby maneo » Mon, 26 May 2008 1:20 am

Be active.
Sports would be good.
Variety to choose from.
Wear yourself out.

Take up a mentally engaging hobby.
Get deeply involved in some volunteer organization.
Get busy (literally, that is).

Let's see, 3 visits in 15 months.
That means at least 4 months between visits. :o
See each other more often.

Cost money?
Well, yeah.
But she is your wife, isn't she?
She should be worth it.

Take turns travelling or meet somewhere in between.
Have some long weekends together.
Mini-honeymoons.
Make the most of it.

Last year involved being apart from my wife.
She moved to SG while I finished out my contract in Shanghai.
At least she came back every 2 months or so.
Anything longer would have been too much.

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ksl
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Postby ksl » Mon, 26 May 2008 2:06 am

Maneo
Be active.
Sports would be good.
Variety to choose from.
Wear yourself out.


I love this one! My wrist is killing me every night and my eyesight is fading too, but the wife still hasn't got the message.

I decided to delete the rest, because what's the point in replying to a bullshitter! Taxico! Is that you, by any chance, looking for your conscience?

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durain
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Postby durain » Mon, 26 May 2008 2:15 am

ksl wrote:Maneo
Be active.
Sports would be good.
Variety to choose from.
Wear yourself out.


I love this one! My wrist is killing me every night and my eyesight is fading too, but the wife still hasn't got the message.

I decided to delete the rest, because what's the point in replying to a bullshitter! Taxico! Is that you, by any chance, looking for your conscience?


ksl, your reply a bit short? you feeling OK? :P

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sundaymorningstaple
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Postby sundaymorningstaple » Mon, 26 May 2008 9:24 am

He's still researching a drink vinegar answer that will replace the wrist action! :P :cool:

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taxico
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Postby taxico » Mon, 26 May 2008 4:31 pm

don't blame KSL! his hands might've got tied up handling all them waxing strips...

right now i'm juggling a lot in one hand, taking a course, going to the gym, hired a trainer, reading more and trying to change my eating habits. also trying to get back to photography again.

i'll see what can be done about flying more... but dayam... them gas prices DO NOT HELP.

for what it's worth, i'm on a little guilt trip, but i've not DONE anything stupid as yet (read the CATS MUSICAL post at the rubbish area).

hopefully... i know what i'm doing.

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banana
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Postby banana » Mon, 26 May 2008 8:09 pm

durain wrote:
ksl wrote:Maneo
Be active.
Sports would be good.
Variety to choose from.
Wear yourself out.


I love this one! My wrist is killing me every night and my eyesight is fading too, but the wife still hasn't got the message.

I decided to delete the rest, because what's the point in replying to a bullshitter! Taxico! Is that you, by any chance, looking for your conscience?


ksl, your reply a bit short? you feeling OK? :P


:lol:
some signatures are more equal than others


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