Singapore Expats Forum

Starting over but not into crowds! (sorry long post!)

Post here to organise an event, gathering, meetup, party. Search for expats from your country, sports partners or meet new friends here!

Starting over but not into crowds! (sorry long post!)

Postby Gardenia » Thu, 16 Sep 2004 9:22 pm

The events of the past two years (which i wont get into) turned this vivacious, attractive and intelligent woman in her early 40s into a recluse of sorts. Now I am emerging from the sojourn and of course, my married friends are still married,my 'single' friends are still attached and the others.. well, lets say i have changed as a person as i am sure they have too..

So I want to meet new people.. i've been reading the posts on this site, ive looked at some of the dating sites.... none of which appeal to me because i am no longer very good at doing the 'networking' circuit nor attending soirees or 'getting together' in crowds. Also, it feels like people on the dating site have hidden agenda's, they dont seem to be able to accept you as a person, they come with fixed ideas of what you should look like,behave like, sound like.. and if you dont fit that category, you never hear from them again.

I would like to meet some nice people, mid 30s and above, and in small doses, just to talk, have a drink, they dont have to be men, they could be women, preferably single (sorry married ladies, no offence but as you might have noticed most of my friends are married and they dont have the time to hang out with me) or they could be men,.. well here clearly, they cant be married/attached or their wives/girlfriends might get worried!

It would be nice to meet someone who doesnt have any expectations, just hang out, chat, see a movie.. and its very important that that person isnt judgemental, doesnt sit there and form opinions..

I am not into the raving clubs and all that dancing and strutting.. sure, ist nice, its fun but its not something i can do every weekend or even once a month! everybody says join a dance class, join that class, join this class.. its seems like i have to join some class or club to meet people..

The company i work for is very small and yes, my colleagues are all attached as well!

I dont know, i just dont know... .. where do i start?


Postby Mia » Thu, 16 Sep 2004 10:04 pm

what you need is some good friends who can bring you into their circle and introduce you to different people, their colleagues, or their friends but it sounds like your friends might be involved with their own families?
Thats a pity.. I am married and i always try to involve my single friends in all the activities i have at home or elsewhere.. i try to get my husband to invite our single friends for events in his company, especially if they dont have family nearby. So it also sounds like you dont have any family here? Pity i dont live in Singapore, or I'd try to help you out. Yes, people are well meaning and they suggest all kinds of stuff without ever understanding what that person is really going thru inside.


Postby Gardenia » Thu, 16 Sep 2004 10:19 pm

No family here. I guess, its my fault for dropping out of the social circle but i dont have any regrets about that. I have evolved and grown, so its natural that we go in different directions. I am not into fancy stuff, what is important is genuine, sincere and unpretentious people. God, i know i sound bleak but i actually have wicked sense of humour and want to have a laugh and have some joy again in my life! Maybe i'll head to the zoo, animals and nature always make me smile! Besides, i might meet a long lost cousin or something amongs the primates!


Why not meet up for a chat?

Postby Woods » Fri, 17 Sep 2004 2:15 am

i'm a local male, enjoy making new friends, expats alike. :D

i'm keen to meet up for a chat over lunch or a cuppa. where do you work?

pls email me at if you're keen.

hear from you soon! :wink:


Postby Gardenia » Fri, 17 Sep 2004 5:35 pm

thanks, will do. I'm keeping my chin up and just being positive when i can!


Hang on there Gardenia!

Postby sam » Sat, 25 Sep 2004 12:06 am

Gardenia wrote:thanks, will do. I'm keeping my chin up and just being positive when i can!

Hi Gardenia,
I am 37 female local.. almost in the same boat as you. Would love to link up with you for companionship . I registered in a dating site but have yet to find any success. Email me at (Read: singapore malaysia london 789)

Look forward to being your friend.


  • Similar Topics
    Last post

Return to “Events, Gatherings, Making Friends”

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 0 guests