unacceptable remarks for different races

[crin]

i'm a filipina. and i could say that in the Phil., anyone could just say anything even the "hey u've gotten fat" and it won't meant great offense. although i could never speak for all filipinos ..one could know the basic stats of a person in the same breath as the first "Hi!". when i got here i watch what i say and ask 'coz am not so familiar w/ all the different customs and cultures. i couldn't practice the "say to others what you want others would say to you", as i have lived in a place where one would know practically another's whole family history at first meeting and it's pretty normal. and it maybe too nosey for comfort for others..i'm sure there's more to "it's pretty hot today" line...so what is ok and what's not for you?

[Bafana]

Typically any comment of personal appearance, hygeine and lifestyle unless I know you very well.

Sometimes Asian don't understand western attitudes in this respect and can really insult people if that person is not aware of the difference in culture.

[sundaymorningstaple]

How much money do you make is another no-no that is, unfortunately, widely practiced over here as well.

[RedSox]

I'm from a suburb of Boston.

In the US folks are just as curious about "the dirt" ( gossip, rumors and heresay ) on people but are probably a little less direct about it than Asians are. Office gossip is prevalent, but it's done on a pretty low-profile basis behind people's backs.

People are rarely confronted directly on their salaries, politics, medical conditions, appearance and hygene topics. Here, in Asia, those topics aren't necessarily taboo in everyday conversation. In some ways it's less disingenuous than back home, I guess, but it seems more confrontational and invasive.

Anyway, that's been my experience; others may disagree.

[sundaymorningstaple]

I believe the OP is actually referring to when just meeting someone for the first time. At least that was how I responded to her. That phenomenon is widely practice even when you have been just introduced to someone.

[positano]

personal appearance
money money money
whether i think caucasian men make better husbands (shocking question)
why i don't have children yet

and in case you are wondering...i have been asked all of the above and more in my first encounters with several of the locals here.

[EADG]

All of the above, and there's one person I work with who to this day years later tries to work the age question in, despite my explaining it is rude and not done where I come from.

This also happens in Japan, where they are trying to see where you fit in with them, so they know to talk up or talk down (not the bad meaning of that but for the correct level of politeness and seniority) to you. There as well I have had to explain this too many times.

This strikes me as odd as many Westerners come to a place understanding some of the customs and try to observe them, but this is rarely a two-way street.

Then again, I still see European women going topless at beaches in Thailand, despite every travel book explaining that the Thais find it offensive.

[phil30k]

How about...
"I can tell from the way you look at me that you like me a lot."

Asians find that very offensive.

Try it if you don't believe me!

[Vaucluse]

whether i think caucasian men make better husbands (shocking question)

A fair question and ghe answer is obvious . . . innit!

Having said that I find most Asians (except Japanese who I find to be very polite and not nosy at all, so my account differs from EADG's) not very backward in coming forward.

Different strokes for different folks.


Our maid/nanny is Filipina and listening to her conversations with other PH-ers is quite amusing when they're over at our house for tea and chats . . .

'Ah, you have such a big bum now'

"What happened to your face, you are so pangit (ugly, I believe)"

etc . . . Very open about that.

[positano]

no, the answer is not obvious

[Vaucluse]

no, the answer is not obvious

No, it's not . . . just pulling your leg . . .

[TennoHekka]

For me, none of that "How old are you?" "Are you married?", "What's your occupation?" and "How much do you earn?" crap. Also, no racial or cultural remarks, no "Oh you whatever are always this and that!", that's almost like a declaration of war right from the get go...Brings out the klingon in me right away!