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wat your point of view, dATING DIFFERENT RACES OF YOUR OWN?

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Postby sundaymorningstaple » Tue, 05 Jan 2010 9:36 am

I think you'll find that the definition of racism does not include "personal preferences". What I do think, is that racism is when there are "laws" that do not represent all races but selectively choose how different races are handled. Therefore, in reality, you are the one who has a problem, as you seem to be looking for ways to condemn people for their personal preferences. Do you also condemn vegans because they don't eat meat?, Do you condemn other religions because they are not your religion? Probably not. So why do you condemn other people for their personal preferences. This is not racism, but preference.

You need to go have a good inward look methinks. I find it creepy that someone wants to dictate to me how I should looks at other people and I should change my preferences to suit the preferences of other people.

Not sure who has the problem here..... :-k

sms

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Postby x9200 » Tue, 05 Jan 2010 10:14 am

badgerxbutt wrote:other, normal men find me attractive without having any inclination towards my race. It shouldn't be a factor when choosing a potential partner.

Race is here basically equal to the appearance. Also from biological perspective it seems likely (I am not an anthropopsychologist..eee whatever) we have some built-in preconditions finding our own race to be visually more attractive. In general I find Caucasian women to be more attractive and there is not a single molecule of racism in it. Just my personal preferences. It would be one if I find an Asian women more or equally attractive but because she is an Asian I would prefer somebody else. You are thinking in terms of labels. Think in terms of properties. Personality, intelligence, skin color, body structure etc, these are the properties to be matched to the personal preferences.

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Postby sundaymorningstaple » Tue, 05 Jan 2010 10:51 am

I'm a racist! I've been married to a redheaded Irish lassie, a brunette Scotttish lassies and and a Tamil Indian, and I've dated just about all other permutations available in the past 6 decades as well. I like all races! Therefore I'm a racist! :lol: :cool:

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Postby x9200 » Tue, 05 Jan 2010 11:15 am

Yeah, I don't know what I am if I prefer "normal" Chinese girls over the ones using this whitening sh*t... anti-Caucasian I guess.

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Postby SGBoyxxx » Tue, 05 Jan 2010 11:20 am

:oops: I seem that asian guys hard to hookup european girls ..america girls ..ect?

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Postby ProvenPracticalFlexible » Tue, 05 Jan 2010 12:08 pm

badgerxbutt wrote:
Addadude wrote: Surely people should be allowed to indulge their personal preference when it comes to romance? Some people prefer blondes. Some people like brunettes. Some women prefer tall men. So, is being an "Asiaphile" really any worse then preferring to date blondes?


Perhaps you do not see it as any worse and I have no doubts that there are others that don't either, but some do not appreciate attention or "attraction" that is driven by racial preference. Just as you think that's OK, there are people (like myself) who do not.

I personally, just find it creepy. I've encountered a handful of them living in Britain, and they make me feel physically sick. I just don't understand the mentality - other, normal men find me attractive without having any inclination towards my race. It shouldn't be a factor when choosing a potential partner.

I think that it's racism. I would never date someone who was incapable of finding women of other races attractive. I would want to know why they would choose not to date them, because the reasons could only be generalisations/stereotyping. How can you honestly say you would eliminate an entire race (or several races) of people from your dating preferences? That is millions of people, with varying levels of personal attractiveness, a variety of personalities and smarts. That is what people are generally attracted to, not skin colour.

If it were a person being racially selective about his/her friendship group, they would be a racist. How is this any different?


So how about gender equality in dating?

Taking this logic one step further, I'd say it is sexist to only date and mate with one sex. How could you eliminate an entire gender from your dating preferences? It leaves 3 billion people, with varying levels of personality etc outside of your dating prospects.

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Postby sundaymorningstaple » Tue, 05 Jan 2010 12:46 pm

Darn it PPF! You beat me to it! I was thinking the same thing but was eating my lunch instead of posting! :lol:

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Postby mulatto » Mon, 25 Jan 2010 9:56 pm

ozchick wrote:Genetically, the progeny of mixed races should prove to be a valuable addition to the world's population. And one could mention the addition of further racial tolerance that may go hand in hand with the whole idea. Great to read of these personal examples of how well it can work !
"From little acorns, big oak trees grow"


*four thumbs up*
and maybe one day, scientists can develop a cure to mankind's deadliest diseases!
(i read somwhere that people of mixed race are likely to be "genetically" healthy)

i think interracial dating is great, in lots of ways. based from my experience i was able to get a better understanding on life in general (not just from my POV)...marriage would be even better because i would get to know my partner's culture, etc. :)

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Postby Momofthree » Mon, 06 Sep 2010 7:53 am

My first real boyfriend was 1/2 Vietnamese/ 1/2 American. We met because my Mother liked him and introduced us! We dated for quite a while and remain friends 25 years later. Always been thankful my parents were always friends with different races, and race was never an issue in my house.

Fast forward to College and dated a Cuban American guy for a couple of years but the combo of ethnicity and religion got us. Probably had I been Catholic his Mother could have accepted me but I was not going to convert so we broke up. I was fine with our children going to both churches and deciding on their own. I'll never forget when I got married how he cried!! Shocked me when I realized he wasn't really over me! He eventually married a nice Cuban American Catholic girl just like his Mother wanted!

I think religion is the tricky part that could get you if you aren't open minded. I feel like children can make their own decisions at the appropriate time if both parties are open to sharing both faiths (or lack of) with the kids.

And a side note it was my understanding that only Muslim women have to marry a Muslim man but that Muslim men could marry Jewish, Christian or Muslim women. Can any Muslims on board let me know if I am wrong on that one?

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Postby leona123 » Sun, 07 Nov 2010 9:21 am

Momofthree wrote:And a side note it was my understanding that only Muslim women have to marry a Muslim man but that Muslim men could marry Jewish, Christian or Muslim women. Can any Muslims on board let me know if I am wrong on that one?


I'm not a muslim but I hope I'm allowed to answer this based on my discussions with muslims, what I have read from the quran and legal websites.

From a PURELY religious perspective...
According to Q5:5, Muslim men are allowed to marry Jewish and Christian women.
And according to Q2:221, a woman is NOT allowed to marry an 'unbeliever'. Some view Christians and Jews as unbelievers and some don't. This is clearly stated in their tafsir (quran commentary) http://www.qtafsir.com/index.php?option ... iew&id=192. However, it also mentions that the hadith "The Muslim man marries the Christian woman, but the Christian man does not marry the Muslim woman" has a stronger, authentic chain of narrators than the previous hadith.

But generally, a muslim woman marrying a christian/jew is strongly discouraged because according to Islam, men are maintainers of women and women are expected to be obedient to their husbands(Q4:34). So, having a christian/jew man might result in a woman having to follow christian/jew practices. And children might end up following the father's non-islamic practices.

From a PURELY Singapore's legal perspective...
Muslim men and women ARE legally allowed to marry from a different religion under the Singapore civil law. Under Singapore's Syariah law, a muslim can marry ONLY a muslim.

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Postby waz » Mon, 13 Dec 2010 8:54 am

Hi Leona.

You are partially right. However this mix-religion marriage is allowed if the partner is the direct descendent from the people of the book - Jewish and Christian in the middle east. However, some school of thought interpret it differently. We won't go to that.

As far as civil marriage, there is no such thing in Islam. You can still marry civil but it will never be recognise in the religion. Technically, it is like saying that you can get away with it now but you have to answer to God in the hereafter. Civil marriage without religious solemnisation is as good as not married in the eye of the religion.
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Postby JR8 » Mon, 13 Dec 2010 7:18 pm

waz wrote:Hi Leona.
As far as civil marriage, there is no such thing in Islam. You can still marry civil but it will never be recognise in the religion. Technically, it is like saying that you can get away with it now but you have to answer to God in the hereafter. Civil marriage without religious solemnisation is as good as not married in the eye of the religion.


If you're taking the leap of marrying cross-religion (one side being Islam), I'd suggest you probably don't really care a great deal about whether it is recognised in 'the' religion, or 'answering to god in the hereafter'.

It wasn't something my wife and I gave a first thought to, never mind a second one.

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Postby waz » Tue, 14 Dec 2010 4:20 pm

Hi JR8

I would thought so with many. But with almost all Muslim, except for a minute number, that is not so. The religion encompasses their life. In this case, God above anyone or anything else.
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Postby JR8 » Tue, 14 Dec 2010 4:40 pm

waz wrote:Hi JR8

I would thought so with many. But with almost all Muslim, except for a minute number, that is not so. The religion encompasses their life. In this case, God above anyone or anything else.


I hear what you say, just wanted to point out that it is not always the case.


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