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wat your point of view, dATING DIFFERENT RACES OF YOUR OWN?

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ProvenPracticalFlexible
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Postby ProvenPracticalFlexible » Thu, 15 May 2008 4:41 pm

QRM wrote:
cutiebutie wrote:It is not about where you marry a Muslim, it is religion specific.

If you marry a Muslim you need to convert.


I know if you want the marriage to be recognized in a Muslim country you have to convert which includes circumcision, if not already done, but what happens if you marry a Muslim say in the UK, via a civil service do you have to convert? I don’t think the question of what religion are you even cropped up when we got married.


Cannot say for UK, as they have somekind of state church adaptation. But in for example France and Belgium the only legally valid marriage is the civil one, that is what counts, and the religion of the couple does not matter. After that whatever ceremonies the couple wish to do is their own (or their parents) business, including if they wish to convert. So there you could marry a muslim without converting.

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Re: wat your point of view, dATING DIFFERENT RACES OF YOUR O

Postby bluexob » Wed, 25 Jun 2008 1:43 pm

Des wrote:hi everyone... :)

Can you give some opinions on having relationship with different race of your own...after that how you going to face through dating period for quite some times. Then thinking of Married with each another down the road? :wink:
Edited especially for all of u out there... :wink: Let's start our discussion...[b]:Many ThaNks foR the rePlies alsO[/b] :wink: :c[/size]ool:



Hi Des,
To be frank,i was in that dilenma before..
Been dating with the same guy for years and yet we still have no intention of ending our relationship..Though we face a lot of difficulties along the way...The way our friends's reaction,surrounding,families etc...
Its hard and yet somehow we managed..Taking small steps slowly..Worst both of us from different race and religion..

At first friends thought that we are not serious with each other and that we're merely somekind of close friends..Families strictly forbids..Sometimes i keep asking myself why must my relationship is so complicated from the rest??, i never want it that way,i felt it more like a curse than a blessing,well perhaps there's always a reason behind everything that happened...Patience is the word..but anyway things are much more better now,now that we are more open towards each other and the surrounding as well...

Slowly our friends and families begin to understand our relationship...Now we are thinking of marriage maybe few more years down the road as i still want to obtain my degree first before marriage...In this relationship,the key is to always give in and take..Dont be offended if people pass any unkind remark, important is that u are happy with that person for as long as u want and willingly to make sacrifice...

If u ask me,i would say it aint that easy..
Action speaks louder than words 8-)
And good luck :wink:

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Re: wat your point of view, dATING DIFFERENT RACES OF YOUR O

Postby Turtle » Wed, 25 Jun 2008 2:00 pm

bluexob wrote:In this relationship,the key is to always give in and take..Dont be offended if people pass any unkind remark, important is that u are happy with that person for as long as u want and willingly to make sacrifice...


I agree... my motto is "you're the one who has to live with yourself". Parents will pass on long before you do. Friends may drift away, and you'll make new ones. Co-workers will disappear as you change jobs or advance in your career. At the end of the day, you are the only person who has to live your life, nobody else, and it's worthless to sacrifice your own inner happiness just to please others. What's the point in making your parents happy, if the result is you lay awake in bed every night because the one laying next to you is not the one you really wanted there?

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Postby TennoHekka » Wed, 07 Jan 2009 10:38 pm

Well, I have dated:
1 Indonesian Chinese who dumped me when I was in the army
1 Local girl who pestered my buddies for her insurance business even at dinners
1 Japanese who's now a professor in the US
1 Korean who's now an attorney in NYC
2 Jews (one American, one European)
1 Irish American (who's dad told me to "date my own kind"!)
and the rest of em a mix of Europeans, I would say its fun, SOME issues can be brought up, especially with parents (usually hers if her dad's a redneck!), each situation brings its own unique set of challenges and rewards, you have to handle more issues than the run-of-the-mill stuff and you grow up somewhere along the way. Have fun!

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Dating Different Races

Postby twista88 » Mon, 26 Jan 2009 7:33 pm

Race and Religion should never be an obstacle when it comes to dating, relationships or love. We all should have an open mind to it.

If you go a couple of steps further into marriage, then communication is one of the main aspect that keeps the marriage going and not your race or religion.

Regards,
Twista88

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Postby sundaymorningstaple » Mon, 26 Jan 2009 10:48 pm

twist88,

The last time I replied to one of your posts it turned into a debacle. (The viewpoints I gave you in that response was a result of my living here in Singapore for over 26 years now. It was a measured response not intended to provoke or anger. Hopefully, you will look at my response this time in the right frame of mind.

Race and Religion I would have to agree, shouldn't be an obstacle. Unfortunately is it and always will be. Not much we can do about that. It's human nature, especially between two people who will have to spend a large chunk of their life on earth shackled to another (those little rings are sure strong).

I would have to ask you though, are you married? Are you married to someone outside of your race or religion? The only reason I ask is that often reality steps in and you have to make adjustments in the name of love. I recently celebrated my 25th wedding anniversary this past September. I have to say that communication is a main aspect that keeps a marriage going. But I don't think it's the way you think.

A good measure of that communication is actually the lack of it. You see, while two people CAN love each other, if their race or religion is different, we cannot ask the other one to change to be like us (religion) and, unless you're Michael Jackson, you ain't gonna change your coloration either. So often it is non-communication that will save the marriage by just not responding to the one trying to "convert" the other one.

These things I speak of I speak from the heart. This is why I asked you earlier if you were married to someone outside of your race or religion. You see, I've walked that road. My wife is of a different race and religion than myself. After 25 years of travel down that road, I've learned a couple of things. (And yes, we are still of different race AND religion). :wink:

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Postby Plavt » Mon, 26 Jan 2009 11:02 pm

In short; marriage is between two people not two cultures or religions which can never meet or so it seems.....

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Postby twista88 » Mon, 26 Jan 2009 11:13 pm

sundaymorningstaple wrote:twist88,

The last time I replied to one of your posts it turned into a debacle. (The viewpoints I gave you in that response was a result of my living here in Singapore for over 26 years now. It was a measured response not intended to provoke or anger. Hopefully, you will look at my response this time in the right frame of mind.

Race and Religion I would have to agree, shouldn't be an obstacle. Unfortunately is it and always will be. Not much we can do about that. It's human nature, especially between two people who will have to spend a large chunk of their life on earth shackled to another (those little rings are sure strong).

I would have to ask you though, are you married? Are you married to someone outside of your race or religion? The only reason I ask is that often reality steps in and you have to make adjustments in the name of love. I recently celebrated my 25th wedding anniversary this past September. I have to say that communication is a main aspect that keeps a marriage going. But I don't think it's the way you think.

A good measure of that communication is actually the lack of it. You see, while two people CAN love each other, if their race or religion is different, we cannot ask the other one to change to be like us (religion) and, unless you're Michael Jackson, you ain't gonna change your coloration either. So often it is non-communication that will save the marriage by just not responding to the one trying to "convert" the other one.

These things I speak of I speak from the heart. This is why I asked you earlier if you were married to someone outside of your race or religion. You see, I've walked that road. My wife is of a different race and religion than myself. After 25 years of travel down that road, I've learned a couple of things. (And yes, we are still of different race AND religion). :wink:


Hi there,

Firstly, congrats on your 25th wedding anniversary, wish you a good health and many more years of happy marriage. Sent my regards to Mdm.

Yup the last debate did not go too well. But I posted an apology with regards to my earlier post on expats, but I guess not everyone is that forgiving around here. Eventually someone had locked down that topic for a good reason. Well that's another story.

Going back to your current post, well I am not married but I have observed couples going through communication breakdown which has adverse effect on their marriage. They have always emphasized on communication, so I figured having a healthy comm between couples and family members should prove to be positive.

But I think you're in a better position to advise on such issues and you have stated relevant key points to be taken into consideration.

Regards,
Last edited by twista88 on Tue, 27 Jan 2009 12:16 am, edited 2 times in total.

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Postby durain » Tue, 27 Jan 2009 12:05 am

why do you have to convert to marry a muslim?

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Postby twista88 » Tue, 27 Jan 2009 12:14 am

durain wrote:why do you have to convert to marry a muslim?


Base on their religion where Sharia Law derives from, it is compulsory for conversion should a non-muslim marry a muslim. But this is a compulsory practise in Muslim countries. Usually in non-muslim countries you are at liberty to decide, provided your husband/wife to be agrees.

Hope this info is useful

Regards,

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Postby waz » Sat, 21 Feb 2009 8:55 am

[quote="twista88"][quote="durain"]why do you have to convert to marry a muslim?[/quote]

Base on their religion where Sharia Law derives from, it is compulsory for conversion should a non-muslim marry a muslim. But this is a compulsory practise in Muslim countries. Usually in non-muslim countries you are at liberty to decide, provided your husband/wife to be agrees.

Hope this info is useful

Regards,[/quote]


There are different school of thoughts for it. And depend on which he/she adheres to.

But for a Muslim country, this Sharia law is integrated into the common law system.
I work to live and not live to work.

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Postby vbelle » Thu, 30 Apr 2009 1:29 pm

well...in indonesia...
there is always 3 options:
1.you convert to muslim
2.your spouse convert to your religion
3.stick with your religion..

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Postby NeSSa81 » Thu, 30 Apr 2009 3:00 pm

A pity to say i didn't really have a choice...

Mum made it a point when i started dating she gave hard rules to follows :-

you can date anyone you want, BUT marry a chinese...

cannot date younger guys
-------

i dated the followings :-

-new zealander
-australian
-indian mix with hawaiian
-malay (younger then me) - had to break up with him due to the fact he is not my race and younger then me...broke our hearts...he gave me the silent treatment for 6 mths..and he is the one that recommended my hubby to me...
-chinese (younger then me and also dated older then me)

some1 mention i m like international dating LOL...

i think thats all i dated...some of them i truly love yet coz of the race problem i had to break up with them...really hurts me alot...

now i m married to a chinese guy who love alot...

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Postby QRM » Thu, 30 Apr 2009 4:27 pm

NeSSa81 wrote:A pity to say i didn't really have a choice...

.


I don't get it why didn't you have a choice? Everyone has a choice?

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Postby road.not.taken » Thu, 30 Apr 2009 4:41 pm

QRM wrote:
NeSSa81 wrote:A pity to say i didn't really have a choice...

.


I don't get it why didn't you have a choice? Everyone has a choice?


I agree, aren't you the adult? What do you care what your Mother says? She's controlling, shame on her. You let yourself be controlled: double shame on you.


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