BEFORE MARRIAGE:
Husband - Aaah! ...At last! I can hardly wait!
Wife - Do you want me to leave?
Husband - No! Don't even think about it.
Wife - Do you love me?
Husband - Of course! Always have and always will!
Wife - Have you ever cheated on me?
Husband - No! Why are you even asking?
Wife - Will you kiss me?
Husband - Every chance I get!
Wife - Will you hit me?
Husband - Hell no! Are you crazy?!
Wife - Can I trust you?
Husband - Yes.
Wife - Darling!
AFTER MARRIAGE: read from bottom to top.
SINGAPORE EXPATS FORUM
Singapore Expat Forum and Message Board for Expats in Singapore & Expatriates Relocating to Singapore
Marriage & one for the Kiwis
- sundaymorningstaple
- Moderator
- Posts: 39755
- Joined: Thu, 11 Nov 2004 1:26 pm
- Location: Retired on the Little Red Dot
Marriage & one for the Kiwis
Last edited by sundaymorningstaple on Thu, 03 Apr 2008 9:49 am, edited 2 times in total.
SOME PEOPLE TRY TO TURN BACK THEIR ODOMETERS. NOT ME. I WANT PEOPLE TO KNOW WHY I LOOK THIS WAY. I'VE TRAVELED A LONG WAY, AND SOME OF THE ROADS WEREN'T PAVED. ~ Will Rogers
- sundaymorningstaple
- Moderator
- Posts: 39755
- Joined: Thu, 11 Nov 2004 1:26 pm
- Location: Retired on the Little Red Dot
Not real sure, is this typical South Island or Tasmanian?
A man buys several sheep, hoping to breed them for wool. After several weeks, he notices that none of the sheep are getting pregnant, and calls a veterinarian for help.
The vet tells him that he should try artificial insemination. The guy doesn't have the slightest idea what this means but, not wanting to display his ignorance, only asks the vet how he will know when the sheep are pregnant. The vet tells him that they will stop standing around and will instead lay down and wallow in the grass when they are pregnant.
The man hangs up and gives it some thought. He comes to the conclusion that artificial insemination means HE has to impregnate the sheep. So, he loads the sheep into his truck, drives them out into the woods, has sex with them all, brings them back and goes to bed.
Next morning, he wakes and looks out at the sheep. Seeing that they are all still standing around, he concludes that the first try didn't take, and loads them in the truck again. He drives them out to the woods, bangs each sheep twice for good measure, brings them back and goes to bed.
The next morning he wakes to find the sheep still just standing around. One more try, he tells himself, and proceeds to load them up and drive them out to the woods. He spends all day shagging the sheep and, upon returning home, falls listlessly into bed.
The next morning, he cannot even raise himself from the bed to look at the sheep. He asks his wife to look out and tell him if the sheep are laying in the grass.
"No," she says, "they're all in the truck and one of them is honking the horn..."

A man buys several sheep, hoping to breed them for wool. After several weeks, he notices that none of the sheep are getting pregnant, and calls a veterinarian for help.
The vet tells him that he should try artificial insemination. The guy doesn't have the slightest idea what this means but, not wanting to display his ignorance, only asks the vet how he will know when the sheep are pregnant. The vet tells him that they will stop standing around and will instead lay down and wallow in the grass when they are pregnant.
The man hangs up and gives it some thought. He comes to the conclusion that artificial insemination means HE has to impregnate the sheep. So, he loads the sheep into his truck, drives them out into the woods, has sex with them all, brings them back and goes to bed.
Next morning, he wakes and looks out at the sheep. Seeing that they are all still standing around, he concludes that the first try didn't take, and loads them in the truck again. He drives them out to the woods, bangs each sheep twice for good measure, brings them back and goes to bed.
The next morning he wakes to find the sheep still just standing around. One more try, he tells himself, and proceeds to load them up and drive them out to the woods. He spends all day shagging the sheep and, upon returning home, falls listlessly into bed.
The next morning, he cannot even raise himself from the bed to look at the sheep. He asks his wife to look out and tell him if the sheep are laying in the grass.
"No," she says, "they're all in the truck and one of them is honking the horn..."

SOME PEOPLE TRY TO TURN BACK THEIR ODOMETERS. NOT ME. I WANT PEOPLE TO KNOW WHY I LOOK THIS WAY. I'VE TRAVELED A LONG WAY, AND SOME OF THE ROADS WEREN'T PAVED. ~ Will Rogers
-
- Similar Topics
- Replies
- Views
- Last post
-
-
One guy dodging , one guy critically injured!
by Barnsley » Wed, 23 Jan 2019 9:49 am » in National Service - 6 Replies
- 4831 Views
-
Last post by PNGMK
Tue, 29 Jan 2019 2:19 pm
-
-
- 0 Replies
- 1602 Views
-
Last post by abbby
Mon, 14 Sep 2020 1:34 pm
-
-
Can wp holder and spass register marriage in SG ?
by Niki_T » Sun, 04 Mar 2018 11:13 am » in Relocating, Moving to Singapore - 1 Replies
- 2152 Views
-
Last post by sundaymorningstaple
Sun, 04 Mar 2018 6:53 pm
-
-
-
Pre-Marriage LTVP assesment
by ribenzo » Tue, 27 Mar 2018 10:38 pm » in PR, Citizenship, Passes & Visas for Foreigners - 0 Replies
- 1880 Views
-
Last post by ribenzo
Tue, 27 Mar 2018 10:38 pm
-
-
-
Pre marriage rejected & stvp rejected.
by bennyq » Fri, 01 Jun 2018 6:49 pm » in PR, Citizenship, Passes & Visas for Foreigners - 48 Replies
- 28341 Views
-
Last post by sundaymorningstaple
Fri, 28 Jun 2019 11:48 am
-
Who is online
Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 0 guests