can helpers be expected looks after kids too?

[rosborn]

Hi - We have recently moved here with a <2 yo and another on the way. We have decided we wish to try a live in helper (quite a new concept to us, coming from Australia) but we are wondering if they can also be expected to assist looking after the kids (alone or with parents) ...? your advice would be much appreciated! Cheers

[PhoenixT]

...do help watch children too. I see children with their nannies/maids all the time. But be aware that you have to prioritise what strengths you want you live-in help to have. Cooking, cleaning, childcaring, etc. Some might not have extensive expereince in all areas.

It's best to discuss your needs with the agency you're going to use to find your helper.

[durain]

you will be surprise what the master and madam ask of the maid to do and this is not just in singapore. they will cook, clean, do shopping, carry your bags, wash your car(s), do gardening, etc.

of course a lot of it are not within their job description!!!

[familyof5]

hi there, we're from australia too. i have a 2.5 year old and 1year old twins. I often take my eldest out in the morning, after breakfast. and our helper will play with my babies for a bit, and put them to bed for their morning nap. they are generally just waking up when i get home, and we all have lunch together. though sometimes (like today) they both woke early and she had them sitting up eating their lunch by the time i got home.

some days when my eldest goes to bed after lunch, i might take one or both of the twins out, and when i get back home, my eldest is generally awake. so, yes ours looks after our kids. though most of the time they're sleeping. but i trust her to put them to bed when they are sleepy, and get them up when they wake, if i'm not around.

just now i've come back from a doctors appointment for my eldest. we've been out for almost 4 hours. having 3 kids under 3 waiting patiently in a paed's surgery for hours and hours is not my idea of fun. so its times like this when i really really appreciate having a helper.

the first little while i was pretty house bound, or all 5 of us would go out together. just while we got to know each other, and the kids got to know her. i'm pretty lucky that we just clicked, and she has settled in well.

you'll find in singapore that some areas arent very pram friendly, and if you have more than one child who is not walking (or not walking long distances) that it is easier to leave one at home if you need to go out.

PM me if you want to know the maid agency i used.

cheers

[rosborn]

thanks very much for the comments. Dear Aus familyof5, unfortunately I have not yet 'earned my keep' on this site so I am unable to use the PM feature yet and I would very much like to know which agency you used. My email is renata.osborn@gmail.com. Cheers

[ksl]

thanks very much for the comments. Dear Aus familyof5, unfortunately I have not yet 'earned my keep' on this site so I am unable to use the PM feature yet and I would very much like to know which agency you used. My email is renata.osborn@gmail.com. Cheers

Don't take it for granted, that you can get a good nanny...there are many horror stories, and even my Singaporean brother - in - law has had is bad luck several times with nannies, stealing mostly..although his kids are quite grown up...for a baby, i would certainly be more cautious, what you may believe is a good nanny can also be your worst nightmare, only you would never be aware of it, because many people with intolerance levels or psychiatric problems, would always try to hide such problems.

Only this week in the paper...a maid freaked out in the City, her behaviour was erratic while carrying a baby, it turn out, she was having a mental breakdown....she had also been ill and warded, before arriving in Singapore..only she passed the medical here in Singapore.

Problem is with unstable behaviour, it doesn't always show, and lets be quite honest here, many parents can be tested to their limits, with their own children, So how do you expect nannies to cope, if they are not trained for the job.

Just my 2 cents!

It's better to be upfront and make it clear to the maids, that they must ring or get in contact, if they are having difficulty...even then, they will be worried of loosing their job, and may not tell anything, just hide any abuse, the best way possible, just be careful not to overstretch, their tolerance limits alone, with your kids if possible.

A crying baby for an emotional detached person could be a time bomb, ready to go off, and many of these young maids, are home sick, poor and desperate to make a living, so their stress levels are already quite high!

Get closer to your maids, try to bring them into the family and feel worthy and wanted, remembering the world is full of unknowns.

Good references from employers, may help, but always better to validate, documents are two a penny out here.

[familyof5]

you have mail renata!