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Happy Australia Day !

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Happy Australia Day !

Postby ozchick » Sat, 26 Jan 2008 3:29 pm

To all you Aussies out there (and other lesser-class folk), hope you're enjoying the day !
May your chickens turn into emus and kick your dunny down ! :D
'Are you trying to tempt me because I come from the land of plenty?'

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Postby Splatted » Sat, 26 Jan 2008 7:48 pm

I just had to cut and paste this from another thread, in the spirit of Australia Day, of course =)

*************************************

If you can answer these questions you are true blue!

1. Do you understand the meaning, but are unable to explain the origin of, the term 'died in the arse'?

2. What is a "bloody little beauty"?

3. Are these terms related: chuck a sickie; chuck a spaz; chuck a U-ey?

4. Explain the following passage: 'In the arvo last Chrissy the relos rocked up for a barbie, some bevvies and a few snags. After a bit of a Bex and a lie down we opened the pressies, scoffed all the chockies, bickies and lollies. Then we drained a few tinnies and Mum did her block after Dad and Steve had a barney and a bit of biffo.'

5. Macca, Chooka and Wanger are driving to Surfers in their Torana. If they are travelling at 100 km/h while listening to Barnsey, Farnsey and Acca Dacca, how many slabs will each person on average consume between flashing a brown eye and having a slash?

6. Complete the following sentences:
a) 'If the van's rockin' don't bother ----- ?
b) You're going home in the back of a ----- ?
c) Fair crack of the ----- ?

7. I've had a gutful and I can't be fagged. Discuss.

8. Have you ever been on the giving or receiving end of a wedgie?

9. Do you have a friend or relative who has a car in their front yard 'up on blocks'? Is his name Bruce and does he have a wife called Cheryl?

10. Does your family regularly eat a dish involving mincemeat, cabbage, curry powder and a packet of chicken noodle soup called either chow mein, chop suey or kai see ming?

11. What are the ingredients in a rissole?

12. Demonstrate the correct procedure for eating a Tim Tam.
13. Do you have an Aunty Irene who smokes 30 cigarettes a day and sounds like a bloke?

14. In any two-hour period have you ever eaten three-bean salad, a chop and two serves of pav washed down with someone else's beer that has been flogged from a bath full of ice?
15. When you go to a bring- your-own-meat barbie can you eat other people's meat or are you only allowed to eat your own?
16. What purple root vegetable beginning with the letter 'b' is required by law to be included in a hamburger with the lot?

17. Do you own or have you ever owned a lawn mower, a pair of thongs, an Esky or Ugg boots?
18. Is it possible to 'prang a car' while doing 'circle work'?

19. Who would you like to crack on to?

20. Who is the most Australian: Kevin 'Bloody' Wilson, John 'True Blue' Williamson, Kylie Minogue or Warnie?

21. Is there someone you are only mates with because they own a trailer or have a pool?

22. What does "sinkin piss at a mates joint" and "getten para" mean?

23. How far would you wear your mockies?
a/ Inside only?
b/ Back yard only?
c/ To the letter box?
d/ To the milk bar for a packed of winni blues?
e/ To the movies?
f/ To shoppo? (large shopping centre)
g/ To the pub?

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Postby ozchick » Sun, 27 Jan 2008 1:47 am

Fair dinkum Splatted you are a disgrace to the race ! But this was a bewdiful read mate ! Thank you ! Hope you had a good one ! Mine wasn't bad at all just quietly !
Hey, I've been told that Aussies should never worry if they're are told that 'the world is gonna blow up today'. At any given time it's 'yesterday' in Australia ! :wink:
'Are you trying to tempt me because I come from the land of plenty?'

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Postby ozchick » Sun, 27 Jan 2008 9:10 am

MAAAAAATE!

Being Australian is about driving in a German car to an Irish pub for a
Belgian beer, then traveling home, grabbing an Indian curry
or a Turkish kebab on the way, to sit on Swedish furniture and watch
American shows on a Japanese TV.

Oh and...... Only in Australia ... can a pizza get to your
house faster than an ambulance.

Only in Australia ... do supermarkets make sick people walk
all the Way to the back of the shop to get their prescriptions while
healthy People can buy cigarettes at the front.

Only in Australia ... do people order double cheeseburgers,
largeFries and a DIET coke.

Only in Australia ... do banks leave both doors open and
chain the Pens to the counters

Only in Australia .... do we leave cars worth thousands of
dollars on the drive and lock our junk and cheap lawn mower in the
garage.

Only in Australia ... do we use answering machines to screen
calls and then have call waiting so we won't miss a call from someone
we didn't want to talk to in the first place.

Only in Australia ... are there disabled parking places in
front of a skating rink.

NOT TO MENTION...3 Aussies die each year testing if a 9v
battery works on their tongue.

142 Aussies were injured in 1999 by not removing all pins
from new shirts.

58 Aussies are injured each year by using sharp knives
instead of screwdrivers.

31 Aussies have died since 1996 by watering their Christmas
tree while the fairy lights were plugged in.

8 Aussies had serious burns in 2000 trying on a new jumper
with a lit cigarette in their mouth.

A massive 543 Aussies were admitted to Emergency in the last
two years after opening bottles of beer with their teeth.

And finally.... In 2000 eight Aussies cracked their skull
whilst throwing up into the toilet


HAPPY AUSTRALIA DAY!!!!
'Are you trying to tempt me because I come from the land of plenty?'

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Postby sundaymorningstaple » Sun, 27 Jan 2008 10:52 pm

You know you're Australian if …

1. You know the meaning of the word "girt".

2. You believe that stubbies can be either drunk or worn.

3. You think it's normal to have a leader called Kevin.

4. You waddle when you walk due to the 53 expired petrol discount vouchers stuffed in your wallet or purse.

5. You've made a bong out of your garden hose rather than use it for something illegal such as watering the garden.

6. You believe it is appropriate to put a rubber in your son's pencil case when he first attends school.

7. When you hear that an American "roots for his team" you wonder how often and with whom.

8. You understand that the phrase "a group of women wearing black thongs" refers to footwear and may be less alluring than it sounds.

9. You pronounce Melbourne as "Mel-bin".

10. You pronounce Penrith as "Pen-riff".

11. You believe the "l" in the word "Australia" is optional.

12. You can translate: "Dazza and Shazza played Acca Dacca on the way to Maccas."

13. You believe it makes perfect sense for a nation to decorate its highways with large fibreglass bananas, prawns and sheep.

14. You call your best friend "a total bastard" but someone you really, truly despise is just "a bit of a bastard".

15. You think "Woolloomooloo" is a perfectly reasonable name for a place.

16. You're secretly proud of our killer wildlife.

17. You believe it makes sense for a country to have a $1 coin that's twice as big as its $2 coin.

18. You understand that "Wagga Wagga" can be abbreviated to "Wagga" but "Woy Woy" can't be called "Woy".

19. You believe that cooked-down axlegrease makes a good breakfast spread.

20. You believe all famous Kiwis are actually Australian, until they stuff up, at which point they again become Kiwis.

21. Hamburger. Beetroot. Of course.

22. You know that certain words must, by law, be shouted out during any rendition of the Angels' song Am I Ever Gonna See Your Face Again.

23. You believe, as an article of faith, that the confectionary known as the Wagon Wheel has become smaller with every passing year.

24. You still don't get why the "Labor" in "Australian Labor Party" is not spelt with a "u".

25. You wear ugh boots outside the house.

26. You believe, as an article of faith, that every important discovery in the world was made by an Australian but then sold off to the Yanks for a pittance.

27. You believe that the more you shorten someone's name the more you like them.

28. Whatever your linguistic skills, you find yourself able to order takeaway fluently in every Asian language.

29. You understand that "excuse me" can sound rude, while "scuse me" is always polite.

30. You know what it's like to swallow a fly, on occasion via your nose.

31. You understand that "you" has a plural and that it's "youse".

32. You know it's not summer until the steering wheel is too hot to handle.

33. Your biggest family argument over the summer concerned the rules for beach cricket.

34. You shake your head in horror when companies try to market what they call "Anzac cookies".

35. You still think of Kylie as "that girl off Neighbours".

36. When returning home from overseas, you expect to be brutally strip-searched by Customs - just in case you're trying to sneak in fruit.

37. You believe the phrase "smart casual" refers to a pair of black tracky-daks, suitably laundered.

38. You understand that all train timetables are works of fiction.

39. When working on a bar, you understand male customers will feel the need to offer an excuse whenever they order low-alcohol beer.

40. You get choked up with emotion by the first verse of the national anthem and then have trouble remembering the second.

41. You find yourself ignorant of nearly all the facts deemed essential in the government's new test for migrants.

42. You know, whatever the tourist books say, that no one says "cobber".

43. And you will immediately forward this list to other Australians, here and overseas, realising that only they will understand.

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Postby Splatted » Wed, 30 Jan 2008 8:21 pm

ozchick wrote:Thank you ! Hope you had a good one ! Mine wasn't bad at all just quietly !


Thanks ozchick. Mine was quiet as well, even though I'm back in Melbourne at them moment. Stayed home and watched the Heath Ledger marathon on foxtel

ozchick wrote:Hey, I've been told that Aussies should never worry if they're are told that 'the world is gonna blow up today'. At any given time it's 'yesterday' in Australia ! :wink:


Hehe.. only problem is, Australia crosses into new day FIRST (or is one of). They must have been confused with Tonga or some other pacific island nation (on the other side of international date line) =)

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Postby ozchick » Wed, 30 Jan 2008 8:27 pm

Yeah sms it's all good babes !Ah...feeling all nostalgic here now.....mm....but I'm still really rapt in Singapore ! (Gonna say it soon wimh!!) :)
'Are you trying to tempt me because I come from the land of plenty?'

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Postby ozchick » Wed, 30 Jan 2008 8:32 pm

Splatted wrote:
ozchick wrote:Hey, I've been told that Aussies should never worry if they're are told that 'the world is gonna blow up today'. At any given time it's 'yesterday' in Australia ! :wink:


Hehe.. only problem is, Australia crosses into new day FIRST (or is one of). They must have been confused with Tonga or some other pacific island nation (on the other side of international date line) =)


Aghhhhh...too much grog that day- I must have been plastered- should have read "At any given time it's tomorrow in Australia" !
In any case I'd actually need to BE there to reap the benefits ! He he.... :)
'Are you trying to tempt me because I come from the land of plenty?'

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Postby Splatted » Wed, 30 Jan 2008 8:58 pm

sundaymorningstaple wrote:3. You think it's normal to have a leader called Kevin.


Kevin's no worse than 'Malcolm', I suppose. We've lived with that one for a while

sundaymorningstaple wrote:12. You can translate: "Dazza and Shazza played Acca Dacca on the way to Maccas."

Darren and Sharon played AC/DC on the way to McDonalds.

sundaymorningstaple wrote:13. You believe it makes perfect sense for a nation to decorate its highways with large fibreglass bananas, prawns and sheep.

LOL, doesn't EVERY country do this? *sound of crickets in back-ground*

sundaymorningstaple wrote:15. You think "Woolloomooloo" is a perfectly reasonable name for a place.

I blame the aboriginies. They were there first (about 10,000 years earlier than the Europeans) and got first dibs on some of the names.

sundaymorningstaple wrote:16. You're secretly proud of our killer wildlife.

Too right! Strewth, look at that little bewdy!

sundaymorningstaple wrote:17. You believe it makes sense for a country to have a $1 coin that's twice as big as its $2 coin.

Yeah, the mint got stingy when it came time to drop the $2 note in preference to coins. They even used inferior alloys, which make absolutely no sound when you drop a coin on the ground, unlike normal coins. Losing a $2 coin is, therefore, much more likely than a $1 coin if you have a pocket with a hole in it.

sundaymorningstaple wrote:19. You believe that cooked-down axlegrease makes a good breakfast spread.

My only gripe.... not quite enough salt! ;)

sundaymorningstaple wrote:21. Hamburger. Beetroot. Of course.

Nothing beats Aussie made burgers from a real fish 'n chip shop (and that doesn't count all the fast food chains here, like Mcdonalds, hungry jacks etc)

sundaymorningstaple wrote:23. You believe, as an article of faith, that the confectionary known as the Wagon Wheel has become smaller with every passing year.

Seriously! They have!!

sundaymorningstaple wrote:26. You believe, as an article of faith, that every important discovery in the world was made by an Australian but then sold off to the Yanks for a pittance.

Arnotts & Timtams, Axel-greese (vegemite), Waltzing Matilda, need I say more?

sundaymorningstaple wrote:27. You believe that the more you shorten someone's name the more you like them.

Which goes to show, all use Aussies absolutely love you, SMS ;)

sundaymorningstaple wrote:36. When returning home from overseas, you expect to be brutally strip-searched by Customs - just in case you're trying to sneak in fruit.

Aussie customs are absolute racist mongrels. They made my wife cry once.

sundaymorningstaple wrote:41. You find yourself ignorant of nearly all the facts deemed essential in the government's new test for migrants.

I think there is one question on Sir Donald Bradman, a Cricketer. Lots of African migrants have failed the citizenship test because of lack of sport knowledge.

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Postby sundaymorningstaple » Wed, 30 Jan 2008 10:08 pm

Splatted wrote:
sundaymorningstaple wrote:3. You think it's normal to have a leader called Kevin.


Kevin's no worse than 'Malcolm', I suppose. We've lived with that one for a while



Who am I to talk, wait till you have a George like we do! :P

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Postby Wind In My Hair » Wed, 30 Jan 2008 11:58 pm

ozchick wrote:I'm still really rapt in Singapore ! (Gonna say it soon wimh!!) :)

You sure it's Singapore you love and not the lovely Dutch people here? :wink:

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Postby ksl » Thu, 31 Jan 2008 2:23 am

Wind In My Hair wrote:
ozchick wrote:I'm still really rapt in Singapore ! (Gonna say it soon wimh!!) :)

You sure it's Singapore you love and not the lovely Dutch people here? :wink:



Don't you mean Swedish! :cry:

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Postby Wind In My Hair » Thu, 31 Jan 2008 10:24 am

ksl wrote:Don't you mean Swedish! :cry:


Oops sorry, could be. I just can't keep track of all her men!

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Postby ozchick » Thu, 31 Jan 2008 11:06 pm

Wind In My Hair wrote:
ksl wrote:Don't you mean Swedish! :cry:


Oops sorry, could be. I just can't keep track of all her men!


Oi !!! Don't blame me for YOUR memory lapse ! :wink:
PS Nice country ya got here WIMH ! :wink:
'Are you trying to tempt me because I come from the land of plenty?'

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Postby Wind In My Hair » Thu, 31 Jan 2008 11:57 pm

ozchick wrote:PS Nice country ya got here WIMH ! :wink:

And getting nicer all the time with people like you here! :kiss:

I see Cutiebutie is back too.

Time to PAARTYYYY !!!


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